Moving Stress and Punishing Ideas

Today is a big day. Domina is fully moved in with me and she hands the keys over to her house over to her renter. Stress abounds! Our differences in personality are certainly showing through. I like a little time each day to be reclusive, go to the gym, and have my private time. Now that we are a family, it’s taking a need to adjust and balance. Domina needs time to talk and socialize. If this was it, we would be ok. But I’m stressed with work and money, she is stressed with work and money, and she needs a little more support as she is encountering the most transition. To make it all worse, there always seems to be a child up our crack with family drama as the kids always want to spend time with us. Sex has diminished, if for no other reason, exhaustion.

Last night saw one of the last nerves plucked. Domina and I finished emptying out her house and were blessed with the chance to have dinner alone. We were getting pretty hot and bothered and it looked like an evening well deserved frolic was ahead. When we got home, we took a few moments to unwind. I had been playing a video game after work. She encouraged me to finish up my game and I said I would be along shortly. Well, that’s when all hell broke lose. My daughter craves time with Domina. She honed in on the opportunity and that was all she wrote. Not wanting to interrupt them I played my game longer. I checked on them, still talking, and let them talk more. Little did I know their talk turned into confrontational teenage angst. Our intimate time was hosed and Domina vented about my poor qualities as a submissive.

On one note, I’m grateful. Part of the trouble with my daughter had Domina defending my decisions and actions but the kid didn’t want to hear the truth. She took some arrows for the team. While I do everything that I’m supposed to do, I admit I’m not as timely as I ought to be on several things and Domina has expressed how she has needed me to be extra attentive in this time. I think we’ve both felt overwhelmed and under appreciated.

Adding to the trouble, we’ve not much been in our D/s roles. This is mostly my fault I would surmise. I’ve always said I think being dominant is harder. It takes more thought and creativity. But being submissive has its riggers as well. The dominant has more flexibility to not be dominant when they don’t feel like it. I think there is much more assumption that the submissive doesn’t have the luxury of not being submissive. Silly as it is, I have an example. Last week Domina instructed me to wear the pink bow around my cock and take picture of it hard to send her at odd hours of the day. The object of the exercise was to get us horny and feeling the usual spark of sexuality that we have. But we had a difficult morning, and by the time got underway, I knew the last think Domina cared to see was my penis. As she pointed out later, I was right. She didn’t want to see my penis, but she didn’t like that I read her emotions and didn’t send the pictures. Even if we have a fight, she wants to see my obedience humiliating it might be.

This brings us back to last night. Our evening was pretty well hosed as I said before. Domina wanted to know where the man that wants to be her sissy slut maid went. I felt so less than submissive at that moment, I didn’t know. It’s been weeks since I felt that urge. Attempting to be productive, Domina asked if I wanted/needed to be punished on the regular. It wasn’t exactly the best time to ask me that, but I’ve been chewing on it this afternoon. We’ve tried before long ago, but it breaks down if it becomes a chore for Domina to perform. Unless she would enjoy punishing me and using negative reinforcement to modify me than it takes energy away from us. On the flip side, I have not always taken punishment well when I think it’s unjust. For it to work, I would have to be more accepting and she would have to do it with the expectation of enjoyment on her end.

Then there are logistics. How does one spank and paddle a man and keep it quiet in a small house with teenagers about? For once, it might be refreshing if she broke me down, utter humiliated me, and made me cry. But my response to pain is anger. It’s my coping mechanism.

I thought I could build a table/horse to keep in the shed. It could have eyebolts in the legs so to restrain my hands and feet. One end could be higher than the other so that when I lay on it my ass would be further exposed and vulnerable. We would walk out to the shed. I would undress while she locked the door behind us. Then she could punish me and tell me, however minor, how she would like to modify my behavior. Sounds reasonable? Yes, but then the neighbors would hear. Siggghhhhh That takes us back to holding difficult positions, standing in the corner, or sleeping in the cage.

I’m sure there are many D/s couples out there that have kids and limited privacy. Help! What do you do?