What is Normal?

The other night Domina was helping me get into my new night gown. Having eyeballed it off the rack, she complimented herself on her good taste and ability to judge size. She asked me how I felt as her hand glided over the silky material. As usual, I sheepishly admitted I liked it. For the first time I will put it out there. I felt sexy. My legs looked good. I felt curvy and keenly aware of how the high hemline contoured my butt.

There is a mix of emotions when Domina fems me up. The main force there is that I feel very submissive. The more emasculated I am, the more lowly and obedient my mindset becomes. There isn’t a guy can put up a macho objection to much when he is standing there with an erect penis dressed up in a mini skirt and lipstick. I respond sexually to humiliation as evidenced by the hard on I usually have when Domina dresses me up. The embarrassment of being sexually stimulated leads to further humiliation which produces more sexual excitement in a revolving circle. But to my further embarrassment, I have begun to have feelings of enjoyment at being feminized for the sake of being feminized. I like the way Domina looks at me lustfully when I put on a snug pair of jeans or a well fitting suit. But now I’m getting the same looks when I’m in a mini shirt and heels. It makes me feel sexy in a new way.

After we slipped into bed and were petting on one another, she told me how she wanted me to get used to being femmed up. She would like me to learn to accept it as a normal, commonplace existence. (Except for days she rather view me nude in my collar for variety!) There was a ring of excitement in her voice. Her fingers were wrapped around my penis as she spoke, so she knew immediately I was excited at the prospect as well. The desires to be humiliated and cuckolded building within me, we fed off of each other’s energy at the thought of developing this aspect of our D/s relationship.

The not so obvious question is what is normal? I keep waiting for some couples out there to tell us ‘good for you’, ‘been there and done that’, ‘about time you got with the program’. In most likelihood there aren’t going to be many of those people. If it was the path most chosen it wouldn’t be abnormal to begin with!

Is normal lowering my eyes in at the mirror or embracing the image looking back at me?

Is normal being embarrassed because I look silly or taking pride that I may try to look sexy?

Is it more normal to want to feel free from pride and dignity or feel independent by clinging to the masculinity that detracts from my obedience?

We have our friends that are in this lifestyle. Should the norm be that we guys should dress up as ‘gurls’ in the future or do the ladies prefer dapper men as a default?

Is it normal to feel embarrassed and excited or will this change in time?

We talk a fair amount about how we both like the thought of me being Domina’s sissy maid. This has always been in a D/s context for the way it makes us give over to our roles as dominant and submissive. I think it has also played a part in promoting the experimentation we have made with cuckolding. However, I can honestly say that my fascination with feminization has always evolved around the desire to be humiliated and submissive. I’ve never been a closet cross dresser nor had the urge to wear women’s clothes. But you should see how Domina looks at me when she dresses me up! I begin to feel like a sexual object and I like that. Is that what normal really is? Is normal the shift from feminization being more than a symbol of submission to something that I would engage in otherwise?

The mere fact I’m having this conversation within my head is embarrassing and therefore making me desire to run home and be Domina’s adoring sub maid. I’ve long transitioned from boxers to panties. Old spice is a scent of the past. I’m starting to think of other ideas like… maybe I can give up dark socks in favor of black stockings. As you can probably tell, my mind is in a submissive frenzy!