Cuckoldress is Rising

Well, for those of you who are curious, Domina had her date with ‘e’ confirmed this morning. Inquiring minds want to know, right? In fact, I’m in the act of being cuckolded right now as we speak. I know, hot! The office today is pretty much dead. I have a few reports I need to send out before the holiday really kicks in, but mainly I’m here doing a little work while I’m alone with my thoughts.

I remember when we started talking about the introduction of cuckolding into our relationship and gathering information about it. One woman’s advice was a warning about the genie in the bottle that would be released. You need to be prepared for what will happen. Once she has learned to embrace cuckolding and allows herself to be fully free to enjoy the liberation and excitement, there is really no turning back. I feel like we are in that transitional phase. Domina is chatting with other men and we exploring fantasies that few people allow themselves to entertain. Every step of the way she is careful to look back at me and make sure we are ok and that the love between us is as strong as ever. The transition isn’t always a piece of cake for me either. No matter now jealous I sometimes feel or horny I may get, it’s more important than ever to be obedient and supportive. For her to feel empowered and confident in our relationship, I have to kiss on her, love on her, and follow instructions. Instructions include the big rules like wearing my panties and not cheating with myself. I know many of you out there you wouldn’t understand this, but if I did things such as resist her efforts to feminize me or sneak off to gratify myself in secret, it would have serious repercussions to us as dominant and submissive couple. As her inner cuckoldress emerges, I need to be ever vigilant that she has no doubts of my submission and love. As submission is a sign of love in our relationship, it makes my obedience ever more tantamount.


Yesterday was a rough day. Except for a dinner date, I spent the entire day working. Our finances, the lingering ex, holiday angst, the children issues… the stress has been mounting. Domina and I both have frustrations and are both entitled to our overdue melt downs. I’m sorry, Maam, I was not as excited as usual about your big date. I didn’t mean to detract from the enjoyment of your experience by not being more supportive this morning. I was just flat wiped out. I do want you to know how very much I love you and want you. This is what things looked like with me while you were enjoying yourself on your play date. I can’t wait to be with you this weekend! I am happy to be your submissive cuck as we face the mental and emotional transitions together. I am so lucky to be with you. I love you.

-a

The Awakening of a Cuckoldress

So....

It would seem that I am truly getting into this cuckolding thing.

I met Dom D today. He is a nice man, but not sure how I feel about him just yet for a number of reasons:

1) I am not used to dealing with a dominant man in my life, I mean, there are a few, but as a Domme, I don't really let them phase me..
2) He challenges me; which, on the one hand, is a good thing, but on the other hand, I am not used to it, so I find it mildly irritating..
3) He is articulate, a good conversationalist, smart, and interesting, but we really did not have much time today, so I did not get a good read on him really..
4) I find him attractive, but I find pet and e much more attractive, he is very tall, and athletic thin, and his body is very nice, he showed me some of it via webcam, and as he says "he does not have any problem attracting women" and I can see, he is distinguished-looking.

He suggested that we have a happy hour sometimes in the next few weeks, and perhaps get a room and "play" afterwards....not sure how I feel about that just yet. First, I don't really know him; and I am not sure he is really willing to put in the time to get to know me. We will see how that all plays out. I would be interested in getting to know him better, for sure.

As pet mentioned, things were different with e. I have known e for a looooooooooog time, we had a history, and I always found him wonderful. But, maybe I felt this way years ago when I met e at first as well, who knows? I sooooooooo can't remember that now. Haha. It's been a long time. I just remember feeling so comfortable with him from the beginning, and he has been a good friend and listener from Day 1. I think that is one of the things that made me want to be with e in a physical sense, that he had always been so nice, and so supportive over the years that I have known him. Always. Gotta love e : )

I am pretty excited that e and I might be able to have a date in the morning : ) We could have had a date today, but I could not get it together fast enough to meet him, ugh. I only had a quick coffee date with Dom D, my time with e would have been MUCH more thorough, AND satisfying for sure : )

With the holiday upon us, pet and I are working through the arrangements and the family stress. Actually, the actual day of Thanksgiving should be wonderful for us : ) The kids are going with their mother and her family for the day; so pet and I will have the whole day alone together for "giving thanks." hee, hee. We can't wait to spend that time alone together : ) My family is waiting to have the holiday on Friday, so that the kids can join us. It will be our first holiday with my family and the kids, so I am very happy and excited! : ) Good stuff!

e informs me that he read my fantasy on the blog earlier today, and he likes it, and would be willing to participate, but he would prefer that pet be naked and hogtied and cuffed....it's not really his call, and he knows that, it's my call, but I could certainly get into that! Woohoo! Good to know that e is willing, he knows that it has been a fantasty of mine for a long time to be with two men. I just have not figured out all the logistics yet : ) Who will be where, doing what...etc. If anyone has any thoughts, I am certainly open to any and all suggestions! : )

So, all this play, and time with my pets will come to a screching halt next week, I am sure, when I return to work full-time. Ugh. I am going to miss having th e time to chat with everyone and get to know people. Bummer. But I will be SO grateful to have an income again! Woohoo! I think alot of my self-confidence and self-esteem will return with that as well.

pet has expressed an interest in spending more time with our friends D and g. We had such a great time with them a few weeks ago, so I will reach out to them shortly and try to schedule something. I think pet's interest really lies in having D and I dress him and g up in their feminine garb and see what happens. Could be very interesting : )

So this cuckolding thing. I have been having some very hot fantasies about having one man fuck me while pet watches. A few days ago I had a very hot fantasy about two cops showing up at our door; and I assured them that I thought that we could "work something out." I called pet to come home from work, and when he came home, one of the cops had me up against the wall, facing the wall, while he fucked me from behind, while the othe cop stood by rubbing his cock getting ready to fuck me. When pet arrived, I told him to stand off to the side and watch. Now, not that most women don't have some kind of "oh, Officer, isn't there something I can do to get out of this ticket fantasy?" But the twist, of course, was making pet watch. The more I think about that, the hotter it gets!! Woohoo!! I never, ever, thought I would feel this way, but then again, I never thought I would any of the things pet and I have done together either. So there you go...

I think most women have fantasies about being with two men at once, again, the twist is pet being made to watch, while I enjoy myself, of being made to service the other cock in the room. pet is very amenable to this fantasy, very willing to serve and make this happen for me, so the longer I think about it, the hotter it gets, and the more and more excited I get about actually making it happen.

As usual, scheduling and timing are always an issue. And, as an added bonus, we got some news last weekend...pet's youngest child has expressed a desire to come live with us, full-time, as well. While pet and I are both thrilled that she wants to do this, and we are very happy, this also means even less alone time for us, and time to make our fantasies come true. That whole process will take a long time, and of course, some drama with his ex...but if that is truly what she wants, then of course, we will do our best to make it happen. Another court battle on the horizon I fear, but we love her so much, I would not have her be anywhere else : )

Lately, the last few mornings, I have been violating pet's ass before he gets in the shower to head into work. I find that this is a nice way to start the day, exploring his anus with my fingers, and getting him hard first thing : ) Of course, pet wakes up with quite the hard-on for me every day, but this just adds a little something extra to our morning. pet has also started having to wear his garter belt every day this week. Next on my agenda for pet is the daily wearing of a bra, but I need to fit him for a proper bra first, can't have too much showing underneath his T-shirt and dress shirt now can we? : ) pet is also back to shaving his legs on a regular basis, and he is quite smooth : ) Or rather SHE, my Marisa-pet is quite smooth these days : )

Dom D has asked for pictures of my breasts. Honestly, I don't have any right now I don't think, but maybe I should have pet take some? Might be nice to have some, as they are quite nice and round and full : ) I really have no right to be proud of them, I mean, it's only by sheer genetics that I have them. All the women in my family are top-heavy. I did catch Dom D opening oogling them today, and I can't decide if it bothers me or if liked it? Been awhile since I have been openly oogled by anyone but pet. I never see e openly oogle me, but that's ok : )

Wow, how random is this post? haha. Guess my head is all over the place. Oh well! Such is the life of this Crazy Domme!

More to cum-

-D

Just a Tuesday

So...yep, that's what's going : ) Pretty regular day.

Kid up and off to school, pet up and off to work. Laundry is done, house straightened up. I had en errand to run today, but that is not going to work out.

I start my new job on Monday, which I am happy about. It seems like it will work out, I have not heard anything to the contrary, so that is good. I also have an interview this afternoon for another job, not real sure I am interested in it, but I know it would pay better, so I am not turning anything down at this point. It's a phone screen, so it's no real skin off my nose to talk to the company. I was contacted about a job yesterday, that would be a better gig for me, if it all worked out, but we will see. I will start the job I have, bird in the hand and all, and just see how everything else works out.

I'm still broke, ugh, the unemployment has not kicked in/retroed yet; should be a pretty hefty check when it breaks free, but that would be another week or so, so we shall see how well/if all that works out. So, I am seriously dependent on pet right now, which sucks, but he is being great about it. Soooo supportive, I love him so much. Yesterday, I managed to get a very cheap haircut, and bought a box of cheap drugstore hair color, so at least I feel better about how I look : ) The haircut is decent for 13 bucks, got the dead ends off and it moves better, and the color is pretty good : ) pet's oldest helped me color it, so that was fun time for the two of us : ) Nice way to spend the afternoon with some girl time : ) I will very glad when I can afford to take both of us back to the salon again. Sigh.

This past weekend I had a nice girl's getaway with my 3 very good friends : ) It was great to spend some time away with my friends : ) pet was so supportive of that, he knew that I needed that time. God bless him, he went to help his best friend and family move. So I had a great time, and he worked all weekend : ( I think the time away was good for both of us : ) We missed each other, and I was VERY glad to see him when I got home! Yay pet! Sounds like the move he was a party was pretty disorganized, so he was a little frustrated, but oh well, he is a good friend and did the right thing by going. I am very proud of him : )

So my weekend was good, the kids were both at their mother's, pet was gone to help his friend, and I had time with my girl posse. We laughed, we cried, the whole gambit of emotions in 24 hours! My girls were wonderfully supportive, they sported the whole trip, knowing that I did not have the money to go at all. It's the little things people do that make all the difference....one of my friends lent me a spare microwave that she had, ours died a few weeks ago, and pet and I just don't have the money to replace it right now. One of the others lent me a pair of sunglasses, because of course mine busted last week, and no funds to replace those right now either. The time with my friend was much needed, and I was very grateful to have it. We are all going through some tough stuff right now, each in our own way, so it was good for us to be there and support each other.

pet and I have been pretty affectionate and touchy feely with each other lately, but not a whole lot of actual sex, and by that I mean penetration. The other night we did masturbate in front of each other....that was pretty hot. I love to watch pet beat my cock. OH! And I did let pet cum the other day....not sure why. Guess I felt sorry for him, looking all desperate and stuff, poor thing. It was ALOT of cum, that's for sure. It was more of a milking really, because I tried to make sure that he did not really enjoy it/have a true orgasm. So that was good : )

I have been chatting with the Dom still, no real progress there, except some hot fantasies/ideas exchanged. Scheduling has prevented us from meeting, but I am sure that that will be rectified soon. I was supposed to have a meeting with "e" this week, but not sure that will work out now, with the holiday and e going out of town an all, but that's ok, we will work it out I am sure : )

pet seems to think that I am really getting into this cuckolding thing, and I have to say that my fantasies of late would seem to true that up. I keep thinking about something the Dom said to me, that he wants to fuck me while pet watches. Which, I must say, I find really, really hot. As I told pet, the fantasy I have in my head involves us in a hotel room, the Dom is on top of me, fucking me hard, but I can't even see his face. I am focused on pet, he is sitting on a chair in the corner of the room, fully dressed, khaki pants, oxford shirt, sitting on his hands, as he is not allowed to touch himself at all. Our eyes our locked, I am naked, the Dom is fucking me hard, but I only have eyes for pet. I am completely focused on him, as my body is moved back and forth by the Dom. I can smell him, taste him, feel him, but my eyes are only for pet. My eyes belong to him. This is our moment, our intimacy, our fantasy. The Dom fucking me is simply a placeholder in our moment.

I am a firm believer that you must nurture your primary relationship. If you are going to invite others into your intimate relationship, some things are reserved only for your primary relationship, some things are special, some things are so important that they remain only for my love. My eyes and eye contact, are some of those things. I love my pet, love him so much, am so desperately in love with him. The cuckolding has not changed that, he is the One for me. My partner, my life, my love. If anything, the cuckolding has brought us closer together.

That's all for now, most fantasies to post later : )

-D

Up, Down, All Around and Dom D

You ever one of those days where you just don't wanna?

Well, today is one of those days for me. I need to vacuum and straighten up the house as pet's parents are coming over later, and I don't wanna. I need to get my mother later and take her to the doctor, and I don't wanna. I need to take a shower and get dressed, and I don't wanna. I just don't wanna. I am not really depressed or anything, I just don't feel like it. I need to pack for my girl's weekend away that starts tomorrow morning early, and I don't really feel like doing that either. Ugh.

I am a little tired, woke up at 4 a.m. with some stomach issues, but they seem to have subsided now. pet told his oldest to school and I took his youngest. I had to ask pet for gas money this morning, that was humiliating and depressing, but I am trying to focus on the fact that I have a job now and will get a paychecks before Christmas, so that's good.

I feel kind of strange today. I have been chatting with a Dom that likes women of my type, short, chunky and busty and he seems interested in getting together for some fun. Which is fine, but pet seems very turned on by this idea. He says it is because I am seem very excited, which I am, I won't lie about that, the idea of being with another Dom, someone that is somewhat challenging to me, is interesting to me, and exciting. But pet seems much more excited about the idea then I would have expected. So I guess that it is making me feel kind of odd about the whole thing. He says he is jealous, and that is why it is exciting, but I don't know, it just seems strange right now, and I am not at all sure how I feel about the whole thing now.

Anyway, I am kind of all over the map right now anyway, so I am not sure how much to trust my feelings on anything right now. Honestly, I have been feeling so poorly physically of late that it is just hard to focus on anything. I am having trouble with my breathing, and I thought it was my seasonal asthma, and I know that my blood pressure is up, with all the anxiety I have been feeling of late, I just don't feel good. The breathing is better today, so that is good, still not perfect, but better. I am just so ragged out all the time right now. I am getting some things done, but not half of what I used to get done a few weeks ago. Sigh, it is very frustrating. I am waiting for my benefits to kick in so I can get to the doctor, get back on my meds, that should help.

And I am very horny, horny all the time for pet, but when it comes time to make love and I lay down, all I want to do is pass out and go to sleep. Poor pet, he is being very understanding, as I talk dirty and smack to him all during the day, and promise him hot lovemaking at night, and then I fall asleep : ( It's no good, he is being wonderful about it, bu I feel rotten for disappointing him, and I DO want to make love with him, so much, but I just keep falling out. Very frustrating.

Well, I thought I felt like posting, but not really-

Later-

D

Deepening Submission

Things are looking up for team Domina. Having received her offer letter and working out how to cover the bills to fill the gap, she is definitely getting back in her normal groove. When she is happy, it means she is much more assertive, dominant, and sexual.

Recently, we’ve met another submissive on-line in another state that looks to need some friends to talk to. He’s little more than introduced himself to me, but had a few interesting conversations with Domina. In describing his circumstances, he admitted that he is cuckolded by his wife. He sounded rather distraught because she like to suck her lover’s penis, but has decided not to do that for sub hubby any more. No one ever said agreeing to be a submissive cuckold would always be fun and easy. Obedience and inferiority are elections that require effort. This is what renders value in these lifestyle decisions.

Fast forward to yesterday. I was sitting at my desk cranking my work. I had Domina on chat so we could be connected through the day. As being virtually close like that often makes me happy, I had an erection through much of the afternoon. This in turn was helping build up the sexual tension within me. This is a little embarrassing to admit, but I was quite wet at a few times during the day. At one point I was in the restroom. Dropping my panties, my cock was standing at ridged attention when I sat down. This is when I noticed how truly backed up I am. When a man is really horny, it’s not unusual for him to have a leaky penis. Precum is usually a clear juicy substance. Yesterday’s precum for me wasn’t clear. The droplets that formed atop my penis were filled with a creamy white cloud. My balls appear to be so heavy with cum that it’s busting out to escape me at any chance available.

Returning to my desk, I focused on my work, but no relief was in sight. Domina told me she was chatting with sub e. She was firming up her plans to dominate and fuck him later this week. That’s when it felt like the brick wall hit. I felt every bit the effects of her emasculating designs. There I was. I could feel the smoothness of my shaved legs. I was keenly aware on my polished nails and lacy undergarments. The wetness of my unsatisfied cock soaked through my pants. And Domina just told me she was making her plans to fuck another man.

To say the least, this was a very moving moment for me. I felt very emasculated, very inferior, and very submissive. My thoughts went back to this other sub Domina had been chatting with. What if Domina ever told me that she was going to stop sucking my penis, but would enjoy that activity with someone else? I realized in that situation I would have the fortitude to accept humiliation and lovingly embrace hardship it would be. I am Domina’s sissy cuckold and as long as this is our lifestyle I have no right to object. It is only by her grace that I’m allowed to be inside her at all.

A competitive jealousy rose up in me. I knew she was most likely telling e how she was horny for him and couldn’t wait for their time together. I wanted to be the sexual object he probably was at that moment. If Domina is going to have sex with others I need to make sure I remain a good lover so she will desire me most. I must remain on the sexually frustrated so that my cock can be hard anytime Domina wants it to play with. Domina has a burning desire to let herself go and give pain. I need to be more open to harsher treatment so she knows she can get that from me as well. I offered up my ass to her in case she wanted to work out some anxiety that evening. Most of all, I know that my submission holds her interest and I felt the pull to be of more service to her.

As Domina methodically continues her program to feminize me and exercises her rights as a cuckoldress, I am embracing the humiliation and jealousy so that it drives me to be a better submissive. The results of which make us very happy and draw us intimately close.

Horny Unleashed

Unfortunately, with the title of this post, you are expecting some hot, sexy times, huh? Ummm...not so much, I just took it from something funny that pet said this morning which I will explain later.

So....things have been interesting and rough the last few days. I finally gave in to a nasty bout of depression that had been a long time coming, and for those of you that follow us I am sure that this is no surprise. My emotions have been all over the map, as my stress level goes up and down, and my anxiety is out of control alot.

This weekend was tough, we had both kids all weekend, and I struggled to keep it together, spending alot of time in our room. I am just overwhelmed with financial issues, pet is doing all that he can to help me, but there just is not enough to go around to all that want it, unfortunately. Such is the way of the world right now for alot of people. I know that I am not alone in this.

But, I did figure out a few things today, at least enough to make my car payment, so that should be a help, so that's good. One thing at a time, one day at a time, sometimes I am taking things one hour at a time, ha!

As pet mentioned, things are looking up for us. So that is good news. I did get a job offer, and finally received the official written offer letter today, so I feel much better about that. On Wednesday, I go have my health screening and drug test, etc, so I will be glad to get all of that hoopla done and over with. I start back to work (hopefully) on Monday, November 27th, the Monday after Thanksgiving. I am still concerned about the credit check, etc, but nothing to be done but just wait for that and pray that all goes well. Sigh.

pet and I managed to make love a little on Saturday, as I was trying to come out of my funk, and by Sunday afternoon I had pretty much conquered it. I spent the afternoon in the kitchen, which always seems to soothe me : ) I was raised on comfort food, and that all things ugly can be resolved in the kitchen, so spending time in the kitchen really helps to alleviate my anxiety. I made some good food, and was happy to feed it to my new family, pet and the kids : ) Everyone seemed to enjoy the dinner, and that makes me happy : )

pet and I managed to have a very nice morning together today : ) No lovemaking, but we just had some nice time togeher. I picked out his panties, purple today, and pet tells me that they are not very absorbent, as he is so hard and drippy for me : ) We have been having some hot IM chat today. I have set another "date" with e for Thursday morning, and that has gotten both of us pretty hot and bothered. I am looking forward to a day full of cock!

pet is also wearing a garter belt today : ) We are kind of road-testing it under his suit pants, so I will be interested to hear in how that felt to pet, to wear that all day today. I will have him post about that later.

So, my date with e is set for Thursday and I am pretty excited! Not nervous like I was last time, this time e and I know each other, have seen each other naked, and know better how things will work. We also have something of a plan for this encouter. e desires to be bound and hooded and I have given permission for that, he will bind himself before my arrival, and I will fasten the last bindings upon my arrival. e enjoys the sensory deprivation of a hood, and I will be interestd to see how I react to that. pet and I have used a hood from time to time, not all that often, so it will be fun to see how things work with e and his hood! e has quite a number of toys/bindings, and I can't wait to see him naked all bound up and waiting for me! haha! Good times!

So that's on Thursday. e will rent us a hotel room, which he will graciously leave to me for the night. When e and I are done, pet will leave work, and take his lunch hour, and come fuck me as well, fun times! I can't wait for Thursday, woohoo!! : ) And then, I think, I will probably need a really big nap and watch some cable! : )

It will be a nice mini-vaca for me which includes ALOT of cock! : )

So this morning, after I got done taking pet's oldest to school, and she was such a joy and pleasure this morning, as she was late, and all kinds of cranky about it, I came back to find my lovely pet still naked in bed : ) This is how I usually find him, but today he looked especially hot : )

We laid around together, talking a bit, and then I decided to suck his cock for a bit. I do love to suck pet's cock : ) He got hard immediately; as I tried to talk him out of the bed as it was time for him to get up. He finally got to the edge of the bed where I spread his legs, got down on my knees, and sucked his cock and balls in earnest until he was quite hard and very horny : ) He told me that his horny had been "unleashed" and I thought that this was pretty funny, hence the title of this post.

off to the shower he went, and off I went to start my day! Laundry, and all that domestic goddess shit that I do right now. I made sure the kid's uniform for work was washed, oh yeah, the kid got a job! : ) We are very proud of her, her first REAL job : ) She is working at a movie store, and seems to be pretty excited so far. So I made sure she had lunch, got her uniform ready, and left her my car key so that she could take my car. Well, the good times are almost over kid, D's going back to work!! Woohoo!!! : ) Thank God!! : )

Take care all, and I will report back in soon-

-D

Things Turning Up

Wow! What a day the last 24 hours has been. First of all, what a trooper my sweet Domina is. To get the tags on her car updated she had to go down to city hall to get a hold on her account lifted. They claimed she had not paid the property tax on her vehicle. So off she went with her bank records to correct the deal. After squeezing a few hundred out of her with their shoddy record keeping, they then told her the hold couldn’t be lifted due to an outstanding parking ticket. Off again to the bank to get documented proof a 2 year old ticket was paid. Upon returning with her proof again, they then tell her that the ticket will still need to be paid a second time because the original payment was wrongly applied to a utility bill. Plus, as the account was overdue they wanted a late fee to boot. Now if all of this sounds unbelievable to you, the story isn’t over. The kicker is that after wasting a day fighting the bureaucracy, the meter maid wrote her a brand new parking ticket as was leaving.

Last night, despite all the stress, was a wonderful evening together. It was a little shakey when I returned about half an hour late from the gym. I was returning some phone messages. I fill the roll as chapter advisor for the college kids in my old fraternity. After getting them straight, Domina wasn’t happy that I didn’t get home sooner as she had a stressful day and needed my comfort. We got back on track and stayed up late talking as I rubbed her feet and back. The moment struck me. I was desperate to make love to her. I rolled over on top of her to share a few kisses, and as required by her rule, I asked permission to enter her. She gave permission.

She felt amazing as we made love. In a missionary position , I arched back and perched up on my extended arms so I could look into her eyes as our bodies continued to move together. I think there was a look of sexual desperation in my face. She looked back at me with a gaze of lustful intensity. The power welled up within her. She struck me across the face a few times before pulling me back down to lay atop her breast.

“I don’t know what you do this to yourself”, she casually commented.

“What that”, I whispered, hips methodically circling around her loins.

“You’re driving yourself crazy. You know you’re not going to be allowed to cum. You are a pathetic sissy cuckold bitch. I don’t want you to spill your juices in me.”

Upon telling me this I could feel a surge in her wetness as my cock glided effortlessly between her lips. I had already spiraled into a submissive high well before this, so the words were like poison honey in my ear. These were the words I longed to hear and the physical reaction on her part that I yearned to feel. I felt the very little at that moment. There was a time when we would talk like this to each other because it was hot. Now it feels to be taking form as reality. We’ve been very sexually active the past week. I’ve been forever hard and frustrated. And what do I do? I honestly encourage her freedom to have additional submissives and sexual experiences outside our relationship so she can experience complete supremacy and liberation while I learn to accept my place as an obedient panty wearing sissy. She made me repeat after her, “I’m a pathetic sissy cuckold bitch.” The words blistered my brain as it wasn’t play to me. This is more becoming how I feel in our D/s relationship and I appreciated her gentle scorn to reinforce my place. As I work to embrace all of this as a lifestyle, I find it strengthens me to receive Domina’s reinforcements. I am inferior to Domina and I wouldn’t want it any other way.

The other words I long to hear are those magical three. I told Domina I loved her and she told me she loved me. At this she had now touched my heart as well as my mind and soul. We kissed and I felt the warmth of her love on top of the flood of submissive emotions. Domina then told me of some rather degrading and emasculating fantasies she had of me before bringing herself to orgasm. The evening ended with her cuddling up against me as we drifted to sleep

The morning was as you might expect in regards to my hormones. But good news came with the sun. Domina received a job offer this morning and at the end of the month we can start going to work together! Wohooo!! She also texted me to inform me that the Old Spice that has been sitting in the bathroom was pitched out. She’s done with have ‘man deodorant’ in the house. And, as an additional note, we discussed Domina giving me an official task list again. We had trouble with this before largely due to living apart. Domina would like me to start improving my domestic services again and I’m excited at the prospects. So all in all, things seem to be on the upswing after hitting bottom yesterday!

A Very Different Day-Sunday

Ok, so Saturday was good, it ended up with a screaming orgasm for me Saturday night, so this is a good day right? So...what happened to Sunday, you may ask? The answer is I have no fucking idea really. Sigh.

It started out rough, I had had a very restless night with the asthma, not able to sleep well, even with a sleeping pill I only got a few hours of sleep and that made me feel like crap. I tried to push through it though...pet offered to make me a nice breakfast of French toast, one of my favorites, and I decided to take a morning walk, so I got dressed for that. I thought the walk might help the breathing, exercise often does, slow, gentle exercise, of course.

So I started eating breakfast and I just didn't feel good. Lack of sleep, the breathing; I have to say, that there is nothing quite as frustrating and uncomfortable as not being able to take a deep breath when you want to! So I got upset and left the table to lay down. pet came to check on me, and a few minutes later I heard dishes in the kitchen....dammit!! The fucking dog had gotten to my French toast!! That was it; I proceeded to have what I refer to as a "full-speed-come-apart." I was just over it...everything.

I was over feeling bad, not being able to breathe, trying to deal with the damn dog (this is not his first time taking food that does not belong to him) being unemployed, being broke, trying to look for a job, trying to deal with our local unemployment commission, trying to make a home for anthony and his kids, trying to do everything and be everything right for everyone, just over it. So, I did what I do sometimes and sat down and cried. Just broke down. Poor anthony, he really is so good at dealing with me. He knows the tremendous amount of pressure I put on myself to do, and be, everything to everyone, and how, periodically, it sends me over the edge....and I just have to let go. He is wonderful during these times.

He strokes my back, tells me it will be ok, tells me he loves me, tells me that he knows things will be less stressful and anxious for me when I am employed again, he even tells me that he thinks I am sexy, can you imagine?? Red-faced, eyes swollen, heaving sobs, and the man manages to tell me, with a straight face, how much he desires me, and wants me, and as an added bonus he has a hard-on!! Can you believe it?? Now that did make me laugh : ) He always knows how best to diffuse me when I think I am really going to crack up and someone is going to have to take me away to the funny farm...I love him SO much!! I am SO lucky, and need to count my blessing so much more than I do. God knows he would be at the top of my list!! : )

So after while, like I always do, I calmed down. Took a little time alone, and anthony took a little nap. Somewhere in the middle of my crying jag I asked anthony if it would be ok if I canceled our evening dinner plans with D and g, our friends. anthony agreed, and he was so good about it, and wonderful, that it made me not want to cancel our plans at all. anthony has really been looking forward to our dinner plans, and was very excited when I said that I working with D on a dinner plan for this weekend, so I really hated to disappoint him, he has been SO good to me these last few months....

So, I did not cancel our plans, I decided to suck it up and stick it out and go. And I know, for me, sometimes, if I force myself to go out and see people, even when I REALLY don't feel like it, I can fend off what might be a nasty bout of depression. And I really did want to see D and g, they are such nice people, and my not wanting to go had nothing to do with them, I was just in a very bad place that morning.

So anthony and I spent a little time watching some TV and cuddling on the couch, and I got hot, so I got naked. Now, mind you, I was NOT the least bit interested in sex when I got naked, it was purely for temperature control purposes. See, I have been exercising lately, and eating a little less, and I have take off a little weight. Unfortunately, this makes my hot flashes worse, as the estrogen that is stored in my fat cells is released, causing more hot flashes...I mean seriously....really?? I am trying to do something good for my body and now I have to put up with more flashes???? Good grief Charlie Brown. I feel like the Halloween episode of Peanuts "It's the Great Pumpkin Charlie Brown" where he looks down at the bag of "candy" and says "I got a rock." Ugh...so the increased flashes is another thing that has kind of put me over the edge lately. And anthony's kids like the house really warm, and of course I have been dying...another reason I am not getting much sleep. But, I am sure that my body will adjust in time, this is the first winter we are all living together, and I just need to adjust to how they keep the house temperature.

Anyway, we are on the couch, so I decide to start playing with anthony's cock; which, is already hard, because I am naked : ) That's got to make a girl feel sexy right? And it does : )

Our show ends and I decide to take anthony to the bedroom. God love him, he just goes with it, knowing that I have been a crying hot mess just a few hours before this, I wouldn't go anywhere with me naked if I were him, lol, but he trusts me, thank God! : )

So in the bedroom, I have him undress and we cuddle and snuggle on the bed, finally he climbs on top of me and enters me...I am a little dry, but I like it like that sometimes, I like him to enter me and then make my pussy wet as we go...good stuff! It kind of depends on my mood.

We make love and it is hotttt!!! I was very worried about my breathing in all of that activity, but I have decided that anthony's cock is the magic cure for asthma! As we make love, I begin to breathe better, and I had an amazing screaming orgasm, after which, I feel VERY good. The breathing is better, the tension in my body is released, all thanks to the Magic Cock of Anthony!

We rest for awhile; anthony is still desperately hard and horny, just the way I like him. I beat his cock alot, never allowing him to cum, and I feed him the pre-cum off of his cock. He loves this : ) We decide we will take a shower together, to get ready for our dinner plans, and I am very glad now that I did not cancel our plans, because I am feeling much better, and am very happy and excited to see our friends : )

This was ONE HOT SHOWER!! I am not even sure why, but all of the sudden I felt very dominant and was slamming anthony up again the wall in the shower, taking kisses from him, thrusting my tongue into his mouth, biting him in different places, forcing my fingers into his ass, pushing, pushing, pushing my fingers into his ass and pulling, pulling, pulling on his cock! : ) Kind of like Dr. Dolittle's PushMe-PullYou....anybody remember that one? hahaha.

anthony soaps me up and cleans me, and this feels very submissive for him and dominant for me...very hot : ) Prior to our getting into the shower, I had set the stage for our D/s shower by sitting on the toilet, urinating, and feeding anthony the urine from my fingertips which was mixed with all of my pussy juices from our lovemaking. anthony seemed to find this quite pleasurable and tasty : )

The night before we had been discussing ways to make my urine more palatable for anthony, and how we could manage for him to drink some every day. Most of our readers know that we have participated in this sort of "water sport" before. Now, many of our readers may find this less than desirable, but, we have made a commitment to our readers, and each other, to keep this blog honest, and I can say, with all certainly, that we have at least done that. I for one, am very proud of both of us for that. Some of these things are not easy to discuss, and I am very proud that we are able to talk about them to each other; and then share our feelings with our readers in this open forum fashion. I think it is healthy for both of us and our relationship to have this type of outlet.

anthony finds drinking my urine a very submissive act, and desires more of it, to be more submissive to me in this way, and it excites him very much. So we are working on a plan to make that happen. We will keep our readers posted on that.

We finish up in the shower, and we are running a little behind now, but with good reason : ) We both haul ass to get ready and out the door and meet our friends.

We make it, just a few minutes late! And have a lovely, enjoyable evening with D and g. They have gotten married and become very young grandparents since we saw them last : ) They look relaxed and happy : ) g has had some health issues, but looks wonderful, and they both appear to be thriving in their love for each other. It makes me happy, and I was so glad I went. The conversation was lively and enjoyable, and we were busy catching up and the time just flew by. Eventually, anthony and I had to call an end to the evening to pick up his oldest from her mother's. It was really such a nice evening : )

We had a nice drive home, talking about what a nice evening we had, and anthony picked up his oldest, and a friend of hers to spend the night. Her friend is a wonderful girl that we both like very much, and we were happy to see her. I will take the girls to lunch tomorrow; and anthony's oldest bought me a little present on their trip to Target that night. I know it sounds stupid, but they were little holiday hand towels; she and I had picked up some for Halloween a few months ago, and tonight, with her friend, she picked out some for us, and the house, for Christmas :) It sounds really silly, but those dumb little hand towels almost made me cry : ) As crazy as that kid makes me; and she does make me crazy sometimes, I love her; and obviously she was thinking about me while her Dad and I were out tonight. Good stuff.

So, Sunday, although a very different day, ended up really, really good : )

Best wishes for a great week for all next week! More hot tales to cum!

-D

Breaking the Brush-Saturday

Well, like the title of the post, I did break my brush on pet last night, broke the handle clean off! haha!

Here's a few pics of last nights activities....

Before some of you get too offended and think to yourselves..."wow, I did not really need to see picture of anthony's asshole that up close and personal, that is definitely an overshare." That particular picture is not really about showing it to our readers, but more about humiliating anthony by showing his sweet little rosebud of an asshole to everyone I want to show it to : ) So, sorry if some of you think it's too much, I happen to love that asshole, I love licking it, sucking, fucking it with a dildo, and violating it in all sorts of fun ways! And I know that embarrasses and humiliates anthony for me to post these pics, but it all turns him on to have me dominate him in this way...so there you go! All in good fun : )

As you can see, anthony and I actually had almost 24 hours alone together, and of course, some of that time was spent getting freaky! Woohoo!

We did a few interesting things last night. Obviously I beat anthony's ass until it was pretty pink, or at least I had to stop paddling him with my hair brush because it broke mid-paddle....whoops! Oh well, just have to buy a better, stronger, brush next time : )

I also tied a pink hair tie around his balls, and kind of squished and separated them, well, until they kind of turned blue, then I thought it was best to take the hair tie off : ) I do like his balls : ) Have I mentioned that anthony very much enjoys CBT?? : ) Good stuff! That's cock and ball torture for any newbies who are coming new to our blog.

As you can see, I also wrote "Fuck Me" on his ass with a big arrow pointing toward his asshole, that was for our readers : ) And trust me, I did give his hole a thorough dildo-fucking in the midst of all of our funtivities.....a VERY thorough fucking : )

We also had a pretty frank talk about our D/s last night. I told him that I felt overwhelmed with it sometimes, being the Dominant all the time, not that I want to be submissive (or that I even could be) but it is kind of exhausting when I have so many other things on my mind, other life stressors. I also told him that I was disappointed in his daily service to me, things that are non-sexual, and he asked what he should be doing for me that he would not doing.

We have this same conversation every few months; so I was little perturbed by the whole thing really. And anthony did acknowledge that we have this same talk every 6 months or so, he commits to me that he will do better and then the commitment fizzles out....sadly. Oh well, it is what it is. But for what it's worth, I am going to put my list of things that I have requested from anthony, here, on the blog, today, so that when we have to have this same conversation again, there is a record of the issue. So here you go:

1. Offer to brush me hair each night
2. Offer to give me pedicures (this does not happen unless I ask, several times)
3. Offer to rub/scratch my back every night (to give him his due, he does do this, but I always have to ask)
4. Offer to cook for me, breakfast or dinner, as is available

I think when I imagined us living together, I imagined a more service-oriented environment, where anthony would do things for me on a daily basis, non-sexual things.

Now, let's be realistic, if you have kids in the house, a 24/7 D/s is just not feasible. Not at all, BUT I do believe that there are things that anthony could do for me in a service-capacity that would not send up a red-flag to the kids.

So, there it is, but there are other things that I think he could do as well. This is also my frustration, I am the Domme, why must I come up with ways inwhich my sub should service me?? Isn't it part of his role to find new and interesting ways to take care of me, pamper me, and service me?? Hmmm?? Thoughts??

We had a very nice night, and I was very glad to be alone with him, where I could orgasm, and scream my lungs out! It felt so good to have anthony make me cum and just yell out loud about it! And God knows I am vocal when I cum : ) hee, hee. And that does turn my pet on....

More to cum-

-D

A Trip to the Woodshed

So...to piggyback on to pet's last post, YES, we did actually take a trip out to the shed!

I am impressed with pet's last post, I like the way that he enumerated all the reasons that we should take that trip, and I agreed with all of them.

We had a very nice walk that night, it was cold, but we stayed moving. I have been having some trouble with seasonsal asthma these last few days, and pet has been wonderfully sweet and supportive while I try and work this out without taking an expensive trip to the doctor. I have an inhaler, and some other things I try before making that trip. Mostly it just makes me feel winded and tired, so that has been difficult the last few days...

So we are out for our walk, and it lovely, crisp and cold, as we talk about this and that. We are kind of poking at pet's suggested idea of a trip to the shed, and quite honestly, I don't think either one of us knew if we were really going to do it until we got done with our walk and back to the house.

But we both started walking towards the back gate when we got back to the house, no discussion really, just ok, we are doing this! I had raised a thought earlier, on our walk, that we needed to be very quiet and not alert my dogs....they surely would send up a skirmish of alarm barks, alerting the kids to our presence in the backyard after our walk. I am sure we could have come up with something on the fly for an excuse, but I REALLY did not want to be put in that position and neither did pet.

So stealthily we crept across the backyard and made it to the shed! Yippee! Now..what to do, we had not really discussed it...hmmmm....

I took the aggressive position, big surprise right? And kind of had pet lean over the workbench in his shed. I pulled his sweat pants and panties down and started whacking away at this ass with my hand. Unfortunatley, we did not think to bring out phones and take pics, so sorry about that folks!

I have to say, that it was a hot exercise, BUT, it was pretty cold, and without some sort of tool (no pun intended) to beat pet with, and spell my hand, the palms of my hands got pretty sore pretty quick. I know, I know, you are thinking, it's a tool shed, weren't there a HOST of tools to chose from?? Did I mention that we had not planned this out that well?? haha.

Anyway, I did not really see anything that it would have been appropriate to beat pet with so this session did not last very long at all, but was enjoyed by both of us, and I am pretty sure we will repeat this effort! : ) pet's ass was a nice shade of pink when I got done, and I was very wet from my efforts. I pulled on the back of his hair and said "Is this what you wanted bitch??" that was hot! Big fun for me!

We managed to get out of the shed, and back around to the front door, without alerting anyone that we there so kudos to us, and I kind of think that that was half the fun : )

I will report on our next trip the woodshed very soon! : )

-D

A Spanking Good Time

Domina has been terrific this past month and more. Despite all the stress of looking for a job she manages to take care of the house while she is there as well as help care for my children. On the one hand I know she has the need to be productive, but on the other she’s exhausting herself trying to contribute over and above the stress and anxiety that she is under. She is an amazing woman!

On top of this, she’s been making time to exercise and she has noticeably slimmed down. She is looking gooooood! I think her looking extra sexy these days is likely contributing to the erection I’ve been sporting the last several days. This and her renewed efforts to keep me sexually denied. I find her even more sexually appealing when she shows the care and desire to manage my orgasms for our benefit. I’m still reminiscing of our time this morning, how beautiful she looked, how wonderful she felt in my arms.

To show my appreciation I made a suggestion to Domina a little earlier today. As we can’t be recklessly noisy indoors when the kids are home, I asked if she would like to take me out to the shed after our walk tonight where she can spank or paddle me. I said I thought it would be good for us. She agreed, but wanted to know why I thought it was good:

1. I know that she has a need to feel that power. It is a great physical and emotional release for her. With her anxiety over a job offer looming, I know she could extra use the pastime.

2. As her submissive, I want to be the one to satisfy these needs more. As our readers know, pain sometimes leads me to react with anger. I don’t act out in retaliation, but I’m not a good subject when I allow anger to help me cope with pain. I need to learn to be much more passive. I think Domina might like it much better, for several reasons, if say I learned to cry instead.

3. I need discipline. This would obviously be harsher than usual as it would be meant as pure punishment. I think we both acknowledge in our D/s relationship, and my behavior, would improve with this practice.

4. The intimacy would bring us together. I need to be more appreciative of her efforts to correct me. I should kiss her and thank her for her love. The release is for her, but the correction is for me. Sometimes it takes energy and I admit that it is of her love that she cares enough to make me a better partner and submissive to her.

As you can tell, I’m very excited! I can’t wait to see my Domina and kiss her!

Little Hot Times

Good Morning All-

As most of you know already, I have been struggling with the whole no job/no income, being a burden to pet thing these last few months. That, has of course affected our intimate times. And for some reason, I am so tired when I hit the bed at night that I keep falling asleep on him : ( whoever thought that you could be so tired from NOT working???

I have to say that I am productive though, most days. Laundry done, house cleaned, dinner fixed, errands run, etc, in additional to looking for, and interviewing for jobs, talking and following up with recruiters, etc. And talking to the people who want money from me that I don't have : ( I will be SO happy to get back to work!!! Isn't that funny?

Anyway, had an interview that went very well yesterday, a 2nd interview and I think the job offer is coming in the next few days, but we will see. I am VERY worried about my credit rating and how that will affect the offer.....pet says not to worry so much, but I don't know, in this job market I am afraid that they will decide to go with a candidate that does NOT have the credit issues that I do : ( Ugh, so my anxiety is really high right now, which really messes with my sex drive. BUT, pet looks so good these days, and he is being amazingly supportive to me right now that I just want him SO much!!!

Last night, I forced myself to stay awake so that we could at least spend a little time together. So pet and I had a quick dinner, he bought me Sonic as a little treat for doing so well in the interview : ) I love Sonic!! haha. We would be working for the same company, IF I get the job, so we are both kind of excited about that, working just two blocks apart, we could see each other for lunch on a regular basis and commute in together if we wanted to : ) So....I am praying very hard that all goes well and I get this offer...please send me all your positive thoughts!!

So we had a nice little quick dinner, spent some time with his oldest, and then took a nice walk in the cold. I just LOVE Fall, this is my favorite time of year, and I love walking with pet, it is nice to just walk for awhile and hold his hand : )

We got home and he had a little computer work to do, and then we went to bed. We held each other and kissed, and stroked each other, and I had pet rub my feet. It is so nice to go to bed with him every night : ) I really enjoy living with him : )

So finally I start to stroke pet's cock, and I let him eat my pussy for a bit, I knew that he wanted to make love, but I did not really have the energy for that last night, the interview, and the stress of the day, really wiped me out.

So I stroke pet's cock for a bit, he is SO horny and desperate for me, and I LOVE it when he gets like that : ) The desperation is all over his face....eyes half closed, he is in the sub-space in his head, and I can definitely see it. My cock was dripping, dripping, dripping. He says that he leaves big wet spots in his panties at work when he gets horny for me there, and I think that that is soooo hottttt!

I continued to stroke pet, stopping often because he is on the verge of cumming alot, and we can't have that, now can we? : ) It is painfully obvious that he is not going to be able to enter me and make love without spilling his load, so I tell him that I will just "do it myself," and proceed to stroke my clit while he watches and strokes my cock. This is very hot for both of us, and we do this often when we don't really have the energy to make love. Eventually I cum, staring up into my love's face while he strokes his desperate, straining cock, and looks as if he is on some sort of opiate-based drug : ) he really does look very high when he is in the sub-space, and I love that look, he is beautiful that way : )

I allowed him to beat my cock for awhile, and I went on to sleep.

This morning, I asked him to take his oldest to school (I usually do that) and I stayed in bed, trying to relax, again, my anxiety is ridiculously high, waiting on this job offer, so I am having a hard time relaxing at all. Sigh. So pet comes back and crawls back into bed for a bit, I tell him of my anxieties, and he is very sweet and encouraging, telling me that he thinks it will ok. I truly hope so. We shall see.

Once I settle down, I start to stroke him again, and he gets hard instantly, he woke up hard for me as well : ) My cock is again VERY drippy and I feed him some of the pre-cum from my fingers. He says he "wants to be inside you so bad," so I said ok, pet always has to ask before he is allowed to enter me. He entered me and he felt SO good, and he was so very grateful to be inside me : ) He could not move much, or very fast, and we did not have much time as he had to shower to get to work, but our love-making was sweet and wonderful : ) Finally, I removed him from me and stroked myself to orgasm while he watched, and rubbed his cock up against me a bit. Then he went off to the shower, cock still VERY hard. I asked him if he wanted to beat it in the shower, and he said that he didn't think he had time.

Off to work pet goes : )

Since I very much enjoy looooong lovemaking sessions with pet, and I am not a big fan of the quickie, I am calling these intimate moments "little hot times." As they are not really your standard quickie, but just brief intimate interludes, which is all I really have energy for right now, so that is good.

I can't wait until some of my stress is alleviated and pet and I can get back to our regular hots for each other! : )

We have heard from some of our friends, D and g, and they are looking to get together, so we are both hoping to work that out for this weekend. They have had some trials and tribulations the last few months as well, and it will be good to see them. They got married a few months ago, and we have not seen them since they got married : ) It will be very nice to be social with people of our like-thinking, and be open. pet is very excited about that, as am I. It is a bit of a strain, not being able to open at home, with the kids around all the time, and us not really having much time alone at all. But, we are managing, it will be just be nice to see them if we can work that out soon : )

Ok, I think that's it for now-have a great day all!

Oh! And here is today's panty pic, enjoy! : )

-D

Why I Want to be Domina’s Cuckold so Badly

As you can probably guess, this is going to be a heavy post! If you read us regularly you’ll know that I encouraged Domina to express her dominance by taking advantage of her sexual liberation if she so desired. We basically made loving promises to each other. She swore to be open and honest with me about anyone she was going to see. No secrets. I swore I would remain faithful and that she would always retain power over my sexual outlets. It took a long time to get to that point and afterwards we made sweet love together. It took even longer than that for her to physically take advantage of her freedom. That was good. She waited for the right moment with a man she liked and was attracted to. Surprisingly, she felt very at ease telling me about what happened and that she didn’t think of me at all during her experience. I was excited or her and even more accepting and supportive than I expected. This brings us to the problem. Perhaps I was too supportive?

Domina will most likely see ‘e’ again, but she has had a little trouble with me. Most specifically, would I defend her honor if some guy came up and made advances to her in front of me or would I get a hard on? Certainly I would take the insult for what it was and defend my prize. The question at hand is what is it different? Even though I can attest with absolute certainty that it is, it isn’t the easiest answer to verbalize. I’ve had to think on it a while. Being cuckolded is the ultimate act of submission and is therefore appealing to me. Having Domina hit on is an insult to me and is an assault to my masculine side that no one is allowed to take away save for Domina.

Let’s draw a parallel for a moment. Orgasm denial. This is about the most cherished tenant of our D/s relationship. Again it was I that asked Domina if she would control me in this way. Originally I asked her to do this for me, even though I thought it would be benefit us both greatly. Now the orgasm control is mostly enforced, and rigidly so, by Domina because it suits her personal desires and preferences. Do I want to cum? Yes! After about 5 days in denial I physically want to cum. Depending on how intimate we are, within a week I’m desperate. So what is in it for me you may ask? Every time we make love, every time I masturbate, every time I have a private moment that I could cheat, I choose not to. This is much more deeply satisfying to me. I chose submission over relief and selfish pleasure. It’s the more difficult and rewarding road to take. And if you follow the line, by choosing submission I am also choosing Domina because she is the one I want to submit to. Does that make sense? Follow me here. When we had short term break up a while back, you don’t have to guess what I did within 24 hours. I got myself off. It wasn’t because I wanted to have fun either. I wasn’t happy at all. I did it because I didn’t want to feel submissive. Even though I didn’t intend to hurt her feelings, she understood that even though she told me I was free to beat off during the period all I wanted, I was cheating. The cheat wasn’t in the sexual act of masturbating to orgasm. The cheat was in that I violated a rule of submission that Domina would have preferred I respected even apart. You may have thought I was like a kid in a candy store, but I felt guilty. It felt wrong to be physically self reliant again. As Domina scolded me later, I could have refrained myself. It wasn’t the sex with myself I was running to, it was the frustration of needing to be submissive that I was running from.

So what does this have to do with cuckolding? It’s quite simple really. The parallel is that when I’m cuckolded I have a somewhat similar choice between jealousy and submission. I want to express my love submissively so therefore I choose not to act on the self absorbed emotion of jealousy. The day before she cuckolded me we had some of the best lovemaking we’ve ever had. We were celebrating each other. I wasn’t all revved up because she was about to be with another man. I was excited that we were so strong, and our D/s was so strong, that we could take that step and feel even closer to one another. I know, the humiliation of cuckolding sexually stimulates me. But the fantasies I have about being Domina’s cuckold are not about imaging the sex acts that she may or may not have with someone else. I fantasize about the embracing of the deepest election of submission I can take and revel in the liberation she is afforded at my expense.

There are times when Domina asks me if I want to cum when I’m deeply desperate. My body is screaming at me and I may pause. But I generally pull together the presence of mind to say I trust her to decide what is best for us. We both value my submission above my pleasure. We are happier when I’m in need of her touch. The same is true for cuckolding. A year or two ago I would never have thought this way. But I trust Domina to do what is best for us, including our need to satisfy her sexuality and sadistically. When Domina feels powerfully attractive and I feel hopelessly submissive to her, we are at our best. For all she gives to me, my kids, and all the other people she touches, I love her. Likewise, I long to be her cuck. She is very careful not to abuse her power because she does not want to violate my trust. I too want to prove my loving submission will always outweigh the jealousy of self.

OPB=Other People's Blogs

Well,I am afraid that my post won't be near as exciting and hot for all of you as pet's last post was : ) Our readership seems to spike when pet posts his fantasies, so I am proud of that : )

On Sunday, pet and I finally got a chance to sit down with my laptop together and look through some other's people's blogs. That was fun and exciting, I really enjoyed that : ) Some of the stuff we saw is pretty hot, but some of it seems just really out there. Like, it's probably not real, you know? If it is real, then good for those people getting their freak on like that! But, that is not who pet and I are, we are more vanilla than that I guess, haha, so I guess our blog suits us just fine : ) We like to post about real things, because real things do very much affect our intimate times, for sure. Sigh.

Anyway, sorry I am kind or rambling today. It has been a good and bad week thus far. More financial issues, and some unexpected ones at that, so that has been frustrating me, issues with my unemployment claims, which seem to all come down to paperwork filing issues (not mine) so that won't be forthcoming until I have a hearing on Monday with our state commission, nothing but fun there. So meanwhile, I am bringing NO money into the house, and while pet is being amazing about it, I know it must frustrate him to be our sole support right now. And I don't blame him. I hate, hate, hate, that I am not participating financially right now and I am trying like hell to get a job. Good news is that I have a second interview with one place this afternoon, hopefully that will go well and lead to an offer letter, which I will snatch up. Now I am concerned about my credit rating/issues holding me back from being employed, God I hope that is not a problem...there is no issue with my criminal background check, but the other stuff, I just don't know. pet says not to worry, that there are alot of people in the country in alot worse shape that I am, but it is disturbing to me nonetheless. I have never had to worry about something like this being an obstacle from employment before. Sigh.

My tenant did not pay her rent on time, so that money is held up as well. She says it is coming...we shall see.....sigh.

pet is being amazingly supportive, and I know that he is very horny and desperate for me, and I keep falling asleep on him. It's not that I don't want pet, I want him VERY, VERY much, it's just by the end of the day I am worn out. Who would have thought that spending the day talking to people about jobs and money that you don't have would be so exhausting? But it is, and I am not sleeping at night for worrying about money and finding a job, so it is just a vicious cycle. Ugh.

Anyway, poor pet pet is so horny and desperate, and I am so distracted : ( I know he wants me to get a job and an income as well so that we can get back on track, in alot of ways...

I love him so much, and I am so lucky, I don't know what I would do without him. But, I don't feel like I am meeting his needs at all right now. I feel very inadequate, in all ways. I am not bringing in a paycheck, so I am not meeting my financial responsibilities in the relationship, in addition, I am costing him money now because he is having to cover some of my expenses now. Which really upsets me, but just can't be helped.

Anyway, so pet posts this very hot post yesterday, and it is hot, and I know it is. But all I can feel when I read it is inadequate, these are his fantasies, this is what he wants, and in addition to being a burden to him right now, I can't even meet his needs sexually. I never thought I would be this person, but I really NEED to work, I need to have my own income, I need to be self-sufficient, and I need to feel like I am doing my part in the relationship. I don't feel any of those things right now, so I don't feel confident, much less dominant. So......pet posts this wonderfully hot post, and all I can think is, "this is not who I am, I can't make this happen for him." I love him, and I want him to have his needs met, but I can't do this right now...or maybe not ever? I don't know, I don't want to be a fatalist, but that is just how I feel right now, but it is not a good day to ask me what I can and can't do I guess.

I am trying to get it together for the interview this afternoon, I REALLY need to make this happen, to get the offer. The money is not good, about half of what I used to make, but the benefits are good and the jobs seems pretty stable. Stability would be good. Very good, and a steady income. Sigh. Trying to focus...all indications are if I don't screw this up today an offer will be forthcoming...we shall see.

So...I guess that's where I am at. Oh, here are today's panty pics : ) I did at least manage to do that for pet this morning : )

Have a great day all-

-D

Sissy Cuckold Fantasy - Part I

As is the norm when Domina has a date scheduled with another man, the days beforehand we couldn’t keep our hands off of each other. The love making was hot and passionate. This day was no exception. Her evening plans consisted of dinner and a hotel rendezvous with another submissive. But before that, she belonged to me. Or rather, I was all hers. It had been about two months since I had been allowed an orgasm. I hadn’t even had a milking. So as you could guess I was ready to climb, if not hump, the walls.

I woke in the morning with an erection that was still throbbing from its unsatisfied activities the night before. Domina had a lazy morning sleeping in, but when she roused she wasted no time ushering me inside her again. My cock and balls felt like a lead weight between my legs. They we so engorged Domina gasped as I entered her. Over the years she became accustomed to what she says is my large penis. But there are still times she can be shocked at my entry when I could swear a pinprick could blow me out like a flat tire.

The days and weeks and hot sex had taken their toll on me. After a few moments the gentle rotary motions of my hips slowed to a snail’s pace. Slack jawed and in utter desperation I looked down at Domina. She had little patience to see if I could regain my stamina. At this point there was little hope I could make a come back as she reached down between her lags to rub her clitoris. When Domina was on the verge of cumming she bucked me off of her and enjoyed this last orgasm solo.

“I’m sorry, but you were dangerously close to having an accident weren’t you? I can’t have that right now. I need you to be very submissive today. I have a lot of plans for you and you know how cuckolding makes me feel. I’m going to need you to be extra attentive and feel your love and support when I get home.”

“Yes Ma’am” was all I could say. Most likely the blood trapped in my cock caused a deficit of the oxygen being carried to my brain. I was dizzily light headed.

“Besides”, Domina smiled wickedly, “if you can’t fuck me like a man you certainly won’t be allowed to cum like one. Steve isn’t denied like you and doesn’t have your kind of problems. Don’t you worry, my love. I’ll get all the hard sex I need tonight.”

It’s true. While Domina swears by the virtues of denying me sexual release for extended periods of time, the drawback is the toll it takes on my stamina. I’ve learned to make love for hours in this condition, but it becomes increasingly slow and tender. Sometimes, however, a woman just needs a man to go at it with reckless abandon.

I spent the afternoon naked save for my collar. I cooked breakfast and was allowed to eat at her feet while she dined at the table in her bathrobe. Occasionally she would pet the top of my head with her foot and run my hair between her toes. At other moments she would catch me feeding and use her foot to grind my face deeper into the dog bowl I was expected to eat from. Aside from this it was a rather lazy weekend afternoon. We cuddled together as we watched a movie. Domina wanted to wear open toed shoes for her date and decided we should give each other pedicures. She selected a hot red polish for her nails and a sparkly pink for mine.

I was still very hard most of the afternoon but I kept my squirming to a minimum. Eventually though, it was time to prepare for Domina’s date and the comfort of the soft bed and warm blankets came to an end. Taking me by the hand she led me into the shower and had me kneel in front of her. There was a moment of silence as Domina glared down at me. I felt smaller by the moment even as my cock did the reverse.

“Do you love me?” she demanded.

“Yes Ma’am”

“Whose bitch are you?”

“Your bitch, Ma’am.”

“That’s right. You are my sissy bitch! What kind of man let’s his woman tell him he can’t cum for months at a time and then gets turned on because she’s going to go out and fuck someone else?”

“A sissy bitch?” I asked.

“That’s right. A little sissy cuckold bitch! You really have no idea how hard I’m going to make Steve cum. I’m going to rock his world its going to make him feel so good. That will be his reward because he’s a real submissive man, unlike you. You don’t deserve to cum like a dog.”

Domina grabbed my hair and tilted my head back so I was forced to look up at her. I could feel my cheeks turn crimson. This had to rank up there with my most humiliating moments, but I was further embarrassed by the fact that I was keenly aware of how hard I was at that same moment. I couldn’t see, but I was positive the precum was profusely leaking out from me and that Domina could see the shameful display. Another nervous moment in silence passed for me as I felt her eyes piercing me.

Without rhyme or reason her tone softened as her hand dropped to stroke my cheek in a loving display of affection. “You’ve sworn to me that you will remain faithful to me”

“Yes Ma’am”

“I’m going to play with another submissive tonight and it is also going to be highly sexual. In the end, he’s going to cum and be satisfied. I am going to beat him and cum and be very satisfied. You, on the other hand, will be very hard and frustrated at this days end. Do you understand?”

“Yes Ma’am”

“Do you accept these terms?”

“Yes Ma’am I do.”

“Do you reaffirm your pledge to me to be faithful?”

“Yes Ma’am I do! I will always be faithful to you” I felt the urge to lean forward and nuzzle against her thighs. I wanted to feel that physical contact but could sense that it wasn’t the time.

“Tell me you love me, slave”

She hadn’t referred to me as a slave before. It was thrilling as well as surprising. “I love you with all my heart.”

“Say it again and keep repeating it.”

“I love you. I love you. I love you…”

In the midst of my vows, Domina tossed her head back and I could see she was relaxing her body. I followed suit, tilting my head back and relaxing in anticipation of what was to come next. The warmth of her urine caressed my flesh as it streamed down my face and neck, running freely down my body. I could taste the salt of her nectar on my lips as I did not falter in the continuance of my professions.

The sheer expression of power made Domina look like she might auto-orgasm. Overwhelmed by the moment she raised a hand and struck me across the face. Not too aggressively, but not that lightly either. The sound of the smack made her gasp in amazement. Reigning in her power though, she reached for me. I accepted her hands and she helping me to get back on my feet. “I love you too,” She said admiringly.

I wanted to embrace her but obviously looked confused as to what to do. With a slight laugh she reached behind me and cut the shower water on. “Now rinse yourself off so you can kiss me.”

-end part I

-a