Going Native?

Well, first a few notes:

Thank you, to my love, anthony, for posting a "catch up" post for us. The last few months have been Mr. Toad's Wild Ride for sure, and throw the holidays into the mix, and me starting a new job and what a mess...

Anyway, I am grateful to anthony for doing the catch up post, and posting his feelings on our potential evening out. As he shared, that night did not happen, and we are very disappointed, but hoping to make it up to our friends soon.

That being said, we have had a lovely invitation to dinner extended from our same friends, Mistress Rora and g, to attend a dinner party with some other like-minded folk. No playing, just conversation and drinks with people of the same mind-set as anthony and I.

Well, I was VERY excited and happy to receive this invitation, which I quickly accepted on behalf of pet and I, so we are looking forward to that. That event happens to fall the night before my birthday so I think that is pretty much perfect timing : )

I am sure it will be a lovely evening, and I know that pet and I will be very happy to see our friends : )

Now on to the business of this post. Of late, and that means that last 2 months or so, I have been having increasing feelings/desires of being attracted to women. As most of you know, this is not the first time that I have felt this way. As with most things, I go through these periods, the feelings last awhile, and then they pass.

Well, this time, they are not really passing. I think it started on the first day of my new job, in orientation. A woman came to speak to the group on a specific topic, and my "gaydar" told me that she was a lesbian. She was pretty attractive, and what I found most appealing (as I do with almost all people) was her personality. You could tell that she was an open person, very honest with her feelings, and a good speaker to boot. I found her engaging, and suddenly found myself pretty attracted to her. Almost to the point where I wanted to speak to her at the break, but found myself nervous, and kind of giddy. Almost like when I want to speak to a man for the first time....VERY strange!

Throughout that day and those thereafter, I found myself noticing women more. I have always acknowledged when other women are attractive, but mostly from a "wow, she is pretty, I wish I looked like her" kind of perspective. However, of late I have been looking at women in a more sexual way. Noticing their breasts, the curve of their breasts specifically, I find myself enjoying the side view of women where the curve of the breast meets the body. I can't say as I have ever noticed how lovely that curve is. I have been picturing women nude. Thinking what it would be like to touch another woman, press myself against her, kiss her, etc. Interesting enough, I have really never actually considered a female encounter. Have a I fantasized? Yes. Have I thought about what it would be like to be with a woman? Sure. But I have never REALLY thought about actually trying to make that happen. Well, that day has come.

Credit to anthony; this new phase of our relationship, the cuckolding, gives me a new found freedom to explore all things sexually that I want to. That being the case, I am actually free to have a female encouter with no regrets, and no concerns about hurting my partner's feelings. And I think anthony is a little excited about the idea, but nope, he does no get to watch : ) LOL

So, like I said, I have really been noticing women more. BUT, I have NO idea how to approach a woman, AND, I have the added issue of being deeply involved in a heterosexual relationship, and am very committed to the relationship. How do you explain that to someone? "Um hi, I think you are really cute, and would like to try and sleep with you, to kind of road-test a female sexual encounter, but I am engaged to a man, he is my submissive, and cuckold, so you see, it's really ok if we sleep together?" Ummmm, yeah...I don't think so. And what poor woman is going to want to deal with all that freaking baggage??

Anyway, so I have a few issues at work here....and have kind of no idea how to deal with them. Sigh. Any thoughts, comments, suggestions? I will take anything anyone has to offer right now. And to make matters worse, the feelings are getting worse, consistently nagging at me. I am not even sure how to flirt with a woman, much less have a sexual experience with one. Do I go to a lesbian bar? Do I put an ad on Craig's List? How DOES one attempt this sort of thing? I am not sure why I am so stumped by this....and what makes is EVEN more difficult, is that I don't think I want to have a random encounter...I would like to date a little I think, get to know a woman first, I have never been with a woman before, I would really like this to be with someone that I am really comfortable with, and that only comes with getting to know someone.

Ugh. Sigh. Ok-more to come on that situation later...

Best to All-

D