Gurl's Night Out?

So we are hoping to reschedule our date with Mistress Rora and g. The original plan was to meet up at their home where it would most likely be a girl’s and gurl’s night. I asked Domina if it was her preference that I be feminized for the occasion. Unequivocally, the reply was ‘yes’. Her problem is that she’s scared I’ll be sporting an erection. Aside from the dressing up it would strictly be a social ‘no playing’ affair. So naturally, signs of sexual arousal on my part, no matter how involuntary, would be frowned upon by Domina. And as she says, she’s doubtful I could control it. Great! As if that pressure wouldn’t make it any easier not to get hard, right? Honestly, I think over time I would relax and be ok. Other than wearing some tight panties the only other suggestion I made was that I start dressing up at home a lot more so I could get more comfortable with it. I do think I need the experience. I get the impression that this isn’t an issue for g. I’m sure it must be exciting for him at the thought of having a like-minded couple over to be open with. But g is probably more comfortable with the idea as he enjoys cross dressing. If I’m having an erection, I guess it’s hard to say I don’t either, but it’s for different reasons. Like I’ve said before, at the few times we’ve had a hiatus from D/s, the first thing that goes for me are the panties. They are a symbol of submission more than a fetish for me.

I know I’ve described this before, but my psyche manages humiliation by eroticizing it. Humiliation also makes me highly malleable in a submissive way. Trust me it’s much less likely you’ll have disobedient thoughts when you are dressed up as a slutty maid while being verbally chastised for being a pathetic sissy. It’s why I believe for a man like me this is an effective way to perform obedience training. Similar to Pavlov’s dog that salivates because he is conditioned to associate a bell with food, I as a submissive can have extreme trials of obedience associated with sexual stimulation. That leads to a very touchy subject of punishment. I would surmise the best way to correct a submissive cross dresser is to take the clothes away. For me, even if I get hard at first, it would probably be better to strip me or feminize me beforehand so that I associate and accept punishment with being inferior in station. The punishment wouldn’t be being feminized, it would just be that I would be feminized while it was being conducted. Trust me, it doesn’t matter how I’m dressed. That nasty ass whip Domina is so fond of can take any sized erection I can conjure up shrivel away. No, taking away the women’s clothing from me would be of a different punishment. It’s more along the path of taking away the bat and the ball and going home to say ‘no more submission for you’. The problem is if we were to ever be that heated at odds, I’ld most likely be angry and refusing to be submissive anyway… in which case it would play into that hand.

But I digress. The purpose of this discussion is to relay my feelings about our first actual date as a girl/gurl couple. For a man that usually just makes sure his tie doesn’t clash with his suit in the morning, this is quite a daunting prospect. What should I wear? I currently have only one outfit and it’s pretty casual. Mistress Rora and g live a few hours away. I would be most comfortable if Domina helped me get ready at home like she does herself, but that would be my first drive out in drag. The price of having the comfort of home is that I’m certain Domina would insist I have no emergency change of clothes for the car to maximize my feelings of being hopelessly vulnerable. Leaving all vestages of masculinity hours away Domina would be my security. Yes, I know how her mind works. Got to remember to fill the tank up in advance! Well, at least the long time driving in the car would quell some of the sexual tension Domina is worried about. I’m not used to walking in heels. I’m not practiced in applying makeup either. I should probably shave my arms and paint my nails. Then what about protocol? I’m not sure how Domina expects me to behave in this unchartered territory! I don’t want her to be embarrassed as my dominant in the company of Mistress Rora. I never knew I would have so many thoughts and concerns over this. I know I’m not well versed at being a sissy out on the town, but if we are going to do it I want to do it well. I know it may sound silly to you, but I regard this as a big step being this “out there” with another femdom couple. Intimidating but exciting.

-a