The Path Least Chosen

Hot Times Ahead

2012-01-24T19:41:00.000-08:00

Well, well, much to tell!

Ok, so anthony and I are trying desperately to get back on track with our D/s and our intimacy. We have had some hot times lately (woop woop!) but we are hopeful that there are more hot times ahead.

Unfortunately, I had to stay home sick today. I did not want to, I have only been at my job about 2.5 months, and I did not want to call in sick, but it just could not be avoided. Terrible headache and running to the bathroom every few minutes does not make for a productive work day. Well, I finally found the right pills for the head, and the stomach seems to have slowed down, so it's hi-ho hi-ho back to work I go tomorrow, but at least it will be Wednesday right?? Good stuff.

So, this weekend is my birthday weekend, the birthday is on Sunday, the big 4 2, but that's ok, I am happy with my age, and feel comfortable in my own skin most of the time. Before we get to the fun stuff, let's do a little house-cleaning.

1. anthony has filed for divorce, finally. For those of you who have been following our journey here, you may know what a big moment this is. It is huge. She was served divorce papers on Monday (yesterday), so that was kind of rough, of course there was a nasty message at work for anthony, and apparently she has done some financial stupidity that will really hurt anthony/us....but, it is done. Yesterday was kind of a rough day for all of us, but we are working through it, and we will get through it together : ) The kids are doing ok, which I am glad to see, was worried about them both, but they seem to be handling it ok so far.

2. My difficult tenant is finally on her way out, woohoo!! Several weeks ago she told me she was moving across the country for a job, works for me, go on! She has been nothing but a difficult, non-rent paying thing since Day 1, and I was glad to see her go. EXCEPT, she put a hole in the bathroom floor, didn't finish the paint job (and I paid for the supplies and paint) and move things into the house from my shed that she was not supposed to as she was prohibited that in her lease. So I am SO glad to see her go! Today, I showed the house to a friend and her boyfriend and they are going to take it-woop woop! I am going to give them a discount on the rent, but it will be totally worth it to have someone in there that I know and trust! So things are looking up, and then after I show it today, the tenant texts me and says that now she is NOT moving, and could we work something out??? Are you kidding me?? Um no, I told her I had already rented it, and she said she would be out by the 1st. Originally, she was supposed to be out by this Friday, so we shall see. I am so done with her, and will be so glad to see her go. anthony and I can get in there and make the repairs we need to make before my friend moves in : ) Now, we will see if she really leaves...thank God I had presence of mind to give her a letter officially terminating her lease...at the end of the month, or I might be stuck with her...UGH. Perish the thought. anthony has been wonderfully supportive during this whole fiasco, even taking the day off to fix the hole : ) I love him so much!

3. Work is going well I think; and I think I am performing well. I REALLY love my boss and my Director, they are great people, but I just need to make more money, and I need to have a bigger job, I think. I don't know how to explain it, the work is ok, the people are nice, but I am used to something else. Don't get me wrong, I am VERY grateful for the opportunity, and the paycheck, God knows I am grateful for that, and to feel useful again, for sure. I just need more...sigh.

4. I feel like I am failing on the homefront. I try and try to keep the house clean, keep the frig filled with decent food, keep up with the laundry, keep up with what the kids need...but I just can't. I am doing my best, and just feel like I am failing all the time : ( I really try, but I just feel like I am drowning in trying to keep up all the time. Do most working women with families feel this way? Ugh. Such a challenge, and I feel like I get further and further behind all the time. Meanwhile, anthony feels like he is no longer in control of his house, and does not feel like he knows where anything is. My dogs are a problem, their nails mark up anthony's floor, the dog hair is constant, and my male dog bit his father this past weekend
:(. He has bitten before, and I am going to have to consider getting rid of him. I don't want to, but I have to consider what is best for my family now. Sigh. anthony is being understanding, but I kow that he does not trust the dog, and I am tired of not being able to trust him with other people. He has nipped at anthony's youngest, about 2 years ago, but he is just unpredictable. Sigh. Big decision to be made there. Sigh.

No wonder I have had a massive tension headache for two days and had to stay home today, right?

Anyway, ON to the positive things!

1. We have a lovely dinner party to go to on Saturday night because of our friends Mistress Rora and g. There will be 2 other FemDom couples there and one other D/s couple, a Male Dom/Fem sub couple. I am VERY excited as it will be pet and I's first real outing with a group of lifestyle-like-minded folk. I had the opportunity to have a nice phone conversation with Mistress Rora this afternoon, it was so nice to speak to her, and have a Domme to Domme talk : ) She is a really lovely person, and I am very much looking for to the dinner and going out with anthony, like a adults. We just don't get that much time alone, and it is hard sometimes. We need alone adult time. I miss that level of intimacy with him, very much.

2. e and I have been talking again : ) I am glad to hear from my friend again. Whatever else happened between us (which was quite enjoyable) e and I have been friends for a long time, and I do so enjoy chatting with him. Yesterday and today e and I have been chatting, very hotly I might add, about domming my pet as a team. e suggested this, and wow, it sounded HOT to me. He is very happy to fuck my pet up the ass and have him suck his cock! As most of you know, this has been a fantasy of mine for a long, long time. Although I must say, that I have never really thought of domming my pet with another man/Dom before, but doesn't this sound HOTTTT?? I think so, so pet and I will explore this further with e. Perhaps a nice dinner to get to know each other a bit? I will think on it and see how we should proceed.

3. I have a possible job opportunity with a major firm. I have interviewed twice, and both seemed to go well. I followed-up with my contact today; and he said that they would be meeting with the Client this week and expected to move forward shortly. I am not exactly sure what that means, sounds like a stall tactic to me, but at least he got in touch with me and did not blow me off, right? Well, we shall see.

4. My birthday weekend is shaping up nicely. We are child-free, or we are supposed to be, we shall see how that really goes now that the kids' mother has been served, the oldest may elect NOT to go over there this weekend, so that is always a possibility. So, we shall see, but I am thinking positively. pet has been told to come up with a written plan for taking care of me and helping me relax this weekend. The plan is due to me tomorrow by noon. We will see if he actually comes up with it...things have been rough for him the last few days, but I do hope that he remembers this commitment to me. It is important to me that he does.

I have brunch with my girl posse on Saturday, so that should be fun : ) I am very much looking forward to that. I have not seen my girls in awhile and we have so much to catch up on! : )

Then we have our dinner party Saturday night. I am hoping to just relax on Sunday, that would be very nice, just to relax and not do anything. I hope that anthony and I can make that happen. I just want some time alone with him to relax and enjoy each other. Hopefully that will include some freaky fun!! : )

Well, that's about it for now...I am sure I will have more to post as days go on, and I will definitely update the blog after our dinner engagement.

I hope all have a GREAT week!!

-D

Blog by EMail?? Awesome!

2012-01-21T17:46:00.001-08:00

So here I am playing with blogger and with an instruction to also posts . The test is to see if I can send a post over e-mail for the first time. A s a bonus we are going to see how pics transfer over!

So here is the quickie breakdown of what's happening with our big weekend. We made some hot love this morning. I'm still hard. My body is craving to cum about as bad as I've ever felt the need. When our love making ended I could barely contain myself and was ready to chew my pillow in frustration. Next week is a big week. Domina's birthday is Sunday. I have been given until Wednesday at noon to submit my written plan for her activites. Included in there is a busy busy Saturday. Her girl possey is taking her to brunch in the afternoon and we have a dinner date with Mistress Rora and g that night. It should be interesting. We are meeting up with a group of about 3 other D/s couples. This is a big coming out so to say for us. Now... I'm dying to know if this post by e-mail works. It could lead to more posting frequency!

-a

Dominated Before Dinner

2012-01-14T18:21:00.000-08:00

Good times...good times...

anthony and I appear to be getting back on track with our lives and our D/s. Family issues, tenant issues, lack of work issues, things are slowly but surely getting better for us, and 2012 has started well : )

We have some road blocks and obstacles yet to conquer; some things have recently been thrown in our way, but I know that we will prevail in the end. I love him, and I know that we can make progress together. It may sound silly, but I do think God is looking out for us, and I know that we are meant to be together and with his children.

That being said, our sexual and D/s feelings are getting better and brighter. Lately, we have taken to changing clothes after work, and before I start dinner, or we go out to pick up dinner. I NEVER liked quickies, and I still don't, but there is something really hot about have a quick little bit of sex before you feed the kids dinner, lol. What do they call them? maybe, "stolen moments?"

One day last week, we came home from work, decided to change clothes, and for some reason I got a wave of horny that came over me. Originally, I was just going to have anthony lick my pussy, but then all of the sudden I wanted to fuck him so hard. So..I let him enter me, and pound me for a few minutes...and then stopped him, and pushed him off me : ) Why am I smiling you might ask? Because, in that moment, I felt more dominate that I have in months. I went to urinate, with the bathroom door open, and told pet to put on a show for me. So, he laid back on bed and began to beat my cock. But, that was not good enough for me. I told to come to the bathroom, get on his knees and beat my cock. He followed instructions obediently, and I slapped his face a little. Then I fed him some of my urinate and pussy juice off my fingers. HOT!!! pet was feeling VERY submissive and I was feeling great and dominant, feeling like I was really coming back from a long, long slumber, where I was a person that I did not know.

As mentioned previously, my dominance is tied to my ability to be independent, bring in an income, and be a strong woman. That means finances play a big role in all of this. My salary is not what it once was, but at least I have an income now, and things are going well at the new gig.

Back to the Fun! Anyway, I had anthony beat my cock and lick my juice/urine-soaked fingers for a bit, and then we had to get dressed and I had to fix dinner. My love was very affectionate with that night, and we traded some dirty D/s text messages all through the evening.

There is something truly delicious and illicit about trading dirty messages with each other when the kids are sitting in the same room, lol : ) It reminds us that not only are we parents, and adults, but we are sexual creatures and beings, and that still turn each other on : )

God bless my love, anthony, for waiting patiently for me to come back to my dominant self. I won't lie and say that I am all the way back, but things are definitely on the upswing!

More to cum-

D

Going Native?

2012-01-14T17:32:00.000-08:00

Well, first a few notes:

Thank you, to my love, anthony, for posting a "catch up" post for us. The last few months have been Mr. Toad's Wild Ride for sure, and throw the holidays into the mix, and me starting a new job and what a mess...

Anyway, I am grateful to anthony for doing the catch up post, and posting his feelings on our potential evening out. As he shared, that night did not happen, and we are very disappointed, but hoping to make it up to our friends soon.

That being said, we have had a lovely invitation to dinner extended from our same friends, Mistress Rora and g, to attend a dinner party with some other like-minded folk. No playing, just conversation and drinks with people of the same mind-set as anthony and I.

Well, I was VERY excited and happy to receive this invitation, which I quickly accepted on behalf of pet and I, so we are looking forward to that. That event happens to fall the night before my birthday so I think that is pretty much perfect timing : )

I am sure it will be a lovely evening, and I know that pet and I will be very happy to see our friends : )

Now on to the business of this post. Of late, and that means that last 2 months or so, I have been having increasing feelings/desires of being attracted to women. As most of you know, this is not the first time that I have felt this way. As with most things, I go through these periods, the feelings last awhile, and then they pass.

Well, this time, they are not really passing. I think it started on the first day of my new job, in orientation. A woman came to speak to the group on a specific topic, and my "gaydar" told me that she was a lesbian. She was pretty attractive, and what I found most appealing (as I do with almost all people) was her personality. You could tell that she was an open person, very honest with her feelings, and a good speaker to boot. I found her engaging, and suddenly found myself pretty attracted to her. Almost to the point where I wanted to speak to her at the break, but found myself nervous, and kind of giddy. Almost like when I want to speak to a man for the first time....VERY strange!

Throughout that day and those thereafter, I found myself noticing women more. I have always acknowledged when other women are attractive, but mostly from a "wow, she is pretty, I wish I looked like her" kind of perspective. However, of late I have been looking at women in a more sexual way. Noticing their breasts, the curve of their breasts specifically, I find myself enjoying the side view of women where the curve of the breast meets the body. I can't say as I have ever noticed how lovely that curve is. I have been picturing women nude. Thinking what it would be like to touch another woman, press myself against her, kiss her, etc. Interesting enough, I have really never actually considered a female encounter. Have a I fantasized? Yes. Have I thought about what it would be like to be with a woman? Sure. But I have never REALLY thought about actually trying to make that happen. Well, that day has come.

Credit to anthony; this new phase of our relationship, the cuckolding, gives me a new found freedom to explore all things sexually that I want to. That being the case, I am actually free to have a female encouter with no regrets, and no concerns about hurting my partner's feelings. And I think anthony is a little excited about the idea, but nope, he does no get to watch : ) LOL

So, like I said, I have really been noticing women more. BUT, I have NO idea how to approach a woman, AND, I have the added issue of being deeply involved in a heterosexual relationship, and am very committed to the relationship. How do you explain that to someone? "Um hi, I think you are really cute, and would like to try and sleep with you, to kind of road-test a female sexual encounter, but I am engaged to a man, he is my submissive, and cuckold, so you see, it's really ok if we sleep together?" Ummmm, yeah...I don't think so. And what poor woman is going to want to deal with all that freaking baggage??

Anyway, so I have a few issues at work here....and have kind of no idea how to deal with them. Sigh. Any thoughts, comments, suggestions? I will take anything anyone has to offer right now. And to make matters worse, the feelings are getting worse, consistently nagging at me. I am not even sure how to flirt with a woman, much less have a sexual experience with one. Do I go to a lesbian bar? Do I put an ad on Craig's List? How DOES one attempt this sort of thing? I am not sure why I am so stumped by this....and what makes is EVEN more difficult, is that I don't think I want to have a random encounter...I would like to date a little I think, get to know a woman first, I have never been with a woman before, I would really like this to be with someone that I am really comfortable with, and that only comes with getting to know someone.

Ugh. Sigh. Ok-more to come on that situation later...

Best to All-

D

Gurl's Night Out?

2012-01-12T18:14:00.000-08:00

So we are hoping to reschedule our date with Mistress Rora and g. The original plan was to meet up at their home where it would most likely be a girl’s and gurl’s night. I asked Domina if it was her preference that I be feminized for the occasion. Unequivocally, the reply was ‘yes’. Her problem is that she’s scared I’ll be sporting an erection. Aside from the dressing up it would strictly be a social ‘no playing’ affair. So naturally, signs of sexual arousal on my part, no matter how involuntary, would be frowned upon by Domina. And as she says, she’s doubtful I could control it. Great! As if that pressure wouldn’t make it any easier not to get hard, right? Honestly, I think over time I would relax and be ok. Other than wearing some tight panties the only other suggestion I made was that I start dressing up at home a lot more so I could get more comfortable with it. I do think I need the experience. I get the impression that this isn’t an issue for g. I’m sure it must be exciting for him at the thought of having a like-minded couple over to be open with. But g is probably more comfortable with the idea as he enjoys cross dressing. If I’m having an erection, I guess it’s hard to say I don’t either, but it’s for different reasons. Like I’ve said before, at the few times we’ve had a hiatus from D/s, the first thing that goes for me are the panties. They are a symbol of submission more than a fetish for me.

I know I’ve described this before, but my psyche manages humiliation by eroticizing it. Humiliation also makes me highly malleable in a submissive way. Trust me it’s much less likely you’ll have disobedient thoughts when you are dressed up as a slutty maid while being verbally chastised for being a pathetic sissy. It’s why I believe for a man like me this is an effective way to perform obedience training. Similar to Pavlov’s dog that salivates because he is conditioned to associate a bell with food, I as a submissive can have extreme trials of obedience associated with sexual stimulation. That leads to a very touchy subject of punishment. I would surmise the best way to correct a submissive cross dresser is to take the clothes away. For me, even if I get hard at first, it would probably be better to strip me or feminize me beforehand so that I associate and accept punishment with being inferior in station. The punishment wouldn’t be being feminized, it would just be that I would be feminized while it was being conducted. Trust me, it doesn’t matter how I’m dressed. That nasty ass whip Domina is so fond of can take any sized erection I can conjure up shrivel away. No, taking away the women’s clothing from me would be of a different punishment. It’s more along the path of taking away the bat and the ball and going home to say ‘no more submission for you’. The problem is if we were to ever be that heated at odds, I’ld most likely be angry and refusing to be submissive anyway… in which case it would play into that hand.

But I digress. The purpose of this discussion is to relay my feelings about our first actual date as a girl/gurl couple. For a man that usually just makes sure his tie doesn’t clash with his suit in the morning, this is quite a daunting prospect. What should I wear? I currently have only one outfit and it’s pretty casual. Mistress Rora and g live a few hours away. I would be most comfortable if Domina helped me get ready at home like she does herself, but that would be my first drive out in drag. The price of having the comfort of home is that I’m certain Domina would insist I have no emergency change of clothes for the car to maximize my feelings of being hopelessly vulnerable. Leaving all vestages of masculinity hours away Domina would be my security. Yes, I know how her mind works. Got to remember to fill the tank up in advance! Well, at least the long time driving in the car would quell some of the sexual tension Domina is worried about. I’m not used to walking in heels. I’m not practiced in applying makeup either. I should probably shave my arms and paint my nails. Then what about protocol? I’m not sure how Domina expects me to behave in this unchartered territory! I don’t want her to be embarrassed as my dominant in the company of Mistress Rora. I never knew I would have so many thoughts and concerns over this. I know I’m not well versed at being a sissy out on the town, but if we are going to do it I want to do it well. I know it may sound silly to you, but I regard this as a big step being this “out there” with another femdom couple. Intimidating but exciting.

-a

Checking in After a Hard Holiday

2012-01-12T18:12:00.000-08:00

To answer your first question, yes we are still alive!! It’s just been a long hard holiday season that we hope was filled with joyful blessings for you. To tackle the next question, it may take a little bit of time to recap but we are pleased to fill you in on what we’ve been up to. Given our normal adventures there are not many juicy details to offer. The kids mutinied as expected on occasions like Christmas Eve to spend more time with Domina and myself. Not so much that it was mutiny, they just preferred not to give up any time with their dear old dad and his hottie woman. Note that ‘hottie’ is my own personal embellishment and not how the kids generally refer to Domina. So, as you can imagine, private time was slim pickings. Add to that a host of other frustrations, financial and personal. Domina has been doing great at her new position but she is severely underpaid compared to what she used to make and her young tenant has been flacking out on paying rent. Trust me, December was not the month to decide you can’t pay especially after avoiding correspondence about it for 3 weeks. As for me, my closest relatives are about ready for the loony bin as my brother flirts with my parents sending him back to jail. This is the first time my family didn’t all get together on Christmas. My brother not only skipped town, but ditched his own kids. There’s more, but I think you all get the picture. It was a season of high anxiety, but still intermixed with many moments of gratitude and love.

As is always the case when life’s pressures step up a notch, our D/s activities dwindle. Although we didn’t really recognize it at the time, I think one of our low points was at Domina’s last date with e. It had been a serious few days of dealing with financial strife and the slow progress of my attorney completing divorce papers certainly not helping either. I didn’t feel the least bit submissive. Too much to do and too much to manage. Likewise, Domina felt less than dominant with life and bill collectors knocking at our door. So we took our stress out on each other a bit. Normally we would be all over each other the eve before a cuckolding event. Instead it was a rather somber mood. I couldn’t flip the switch to get excited. Now, while I didn’t discourage her from having her date, I wasn’t pouring on the love and support I normally do either. And so it was that Domina set out on her date and had her play time with e. Yes, later that night we made love on the bad that she had earlier has sex with e on and it was hot. But I think the lack of passion we had that morning impacted her date. She told me e later indicated that it didn’t really hit the spot for him. That was it for Domina. I wasn’t in a submissive headspace, and hadn’t been for over a month, and now this. Domina just wanted to feel sexy and desirable without the need of D/s. She told me she wanted a break. I’m not sure how I felt. I wasn’t totally indifferent, but then I really felt more dominant and appreciated the freedom. I didn’t fight. The next morning I simply went back to a normal routine that included dusting off the old boxers and dressing 100% man.

Domina said it very well the other day. It can take a lot of energy to be dominant. I truly believe it takes practice for most people. You might think it’s should be easy to just tell a sub what you want and maybe dish out a little punishment when things get lax. But it really is the position of responsibility. Sometimes when I deal with people at work and then the dysfunctional people in my family that all force me to be in charge, it is a treat to be able to come home and be submissive without choice. Dominants in a D/s relationship want these too at times, not to have to worry about making a decision. Well, a good week or so went by. Jobs and family matters started to ease just a little. And one morning Domina watched me getting dressed for work and lamented that I was not putting on my panties. In an instant I reverted back and felt ashamed that I wasn’t in them as she prefers me to be. For the first time in over a month I felt like we were headed in the right direction.

We made plans for New Year’s with Mistress Rora and g. Between scheduling and the long overdue (and well deserved might I add) nervous breakdowns we were compelled to reschedule. This was the day we finally hit bottom out of exhaustion, and an entirely too drawn out explanation of why you have not heard a peep from us in nearly 2 months. So that behind us now, we can talk about more positive things. In fact, I think like the way the new year has rolled in, I’ll start fresh with an entirely new post that is totally positive in nature!

-a

Cuckoldress is Rising

2011-11-23T12:37:00.000-08:00

Well, for those of you who are curious, Domina had her date with ‘e’ confirmed this morning. Inquiring minds want to know, right? In fact, I’m in the act of being cuckolded right now as we speak. I know, hot! The office today is pretty much dead. I have a few reports I need to send out before the holiday really kicks in, but mainly I’m here doing a little work while I’m alone with my thoughts.

I remember when we started talking about the introduction of cuckolding into our relationship and gathering information about it. One woman’s advice was a warning about the genie in the bottle that would be released. You need to be prepared for what will happen. Once she has learned to embrace cuckolding and allows herself to be fully free to enjoy the liberation and excitement, there is really no turning back. I feel like we are in that transitional phase. Domina is chatting with other men and we exploring fantasies that few people allow themselves to entertain. Every step of the way she is careful to look back at me and make sure we are ok and that the love between us is as strong as ever. The transition isn’t always a piece of cake for me either. No matter now jealous I sometimes feel or horny I may get, it’s more important than ever to be obedient and supportive. For her to feel empowered and confident in our relationship, I have to kiss on her, love on her, and follow instructions. Instructions include the big rules like wearing my panties and not cheating with myself. I know many of you out there you wouldn’t understand this, but if I did things such as resist her efforts to feminize me or sneak off to gratify myself in secret, it would have serious repercussions to us as dominant and submissive couple. As her inner cuckoldress emerges, I need to be ever vigilant that she has no doubts of my submission and love. As submission is a sign of love in our relationship, it makes my obedience ever more tantamount.

Yesterday was a rough day. Except for a dinner date, I spent the entire day working. Our finances, the lingering ex, holiday angst, the children issues… the stress has been mounting. Domina and I both have frustrations and are both entitled to our overdue melt downs. I’m sorry, Maam, I was not as excited as usual about your big date. I didn’t mean to detract from the enjoyment of your experience by not being more supportive this morning. I was just flat wiped out. I do want you to know how very much I love you and want you. This is what things looked like with me while you were enjoying yourself on your play date. I can’t wait to be with you this weekend! I am happy to be your submissive cuck as we face the mental and emotional transitions together. I am so lucky to be with you. I love you.

-a

The Awakening of a Cuckoldress

2011-11-22T17:21:00.000-08:00

So....

It would seem that I am truly getting into this cuckolding thing.

I met Dom D today. He is a nice man, but not sure how I feel about him just yet for a number of reasons:

1) I am not used to dealing with a dominant man in my life, I mean, there are a few, but as a Domme, I don't really let them phase me..
2) He challenges me; which, on the one hand, is a good thing, but on the other hand, I am not used to it, so I find it mildly irritating..
3) He is articulate, a good conversationalist, smart, and interesting, but we really did not have much time today, so I did not get a good read on him really..
4) I find him attractive, but I find pet and e much more attractive, he is very tall, and athletic thin, and his body is very nice, he showed me some of it via webcam, and as he says "he does not have any problem attracting women" and I can see, he is distinguished-looking.

He suggested that we have a happy hour sometimes in the next few weeks, and perhaps get a room and "play" afterwards....not sure how I feel about that just yet. First, I don't really know him; and I am not sure he is really willing to put in the time to get to know me. We will see how that all plays out. I would be interested in getting to know him better, for sure.

As pet mentioned, things were different with e. I have known e for a looooooooooog time, we had a history, and I always found him wonderful. But, maybe I felt this way years ago when I met e at first as well, who knows? I sooooooooo can't remember that now. Haha. It's been a long time. I just remember feeling so comfortable with him from the beginning, and he has been a good friend and listener from Day 1. I think that is one of the things that made me want to be with e in a physical sense, that he had always been so nice, and so supportive over the years that I have known him. Always. Gotta love e : )

I am pretty excited that e and I might be able to have a date in the morning : ) We could have had a date today, but I could not get it together fast enough to meet him, ugh. I only had a quick coffee date with Dom D, my time with e would have been MUCH more thorough, AND satisfying for sure : )

With the holiday upon us, pet and I are working through the arrangements and the family stress. Actually, the actual day of Thanksgiving should be wonderful for us : ) The kids are going with their mother and her family for the day; so pet and I will have the whole day alone together for "giving thanks." hee, hee. We can't wait to spend that time alone together : ) My family is waiting to have the holiday on Friday, so that the kids can join us. It will be our first holiday with my family and the kids, so I am very happy and excited! : ) Good stuff!

e informs me that he read my fantasy on the blog earlier today, and he likes it, and would be willing to participate, but he would prefer that pet be naked and hogtied and cuffed....it's not really his call, and he knows that, it's my call, but I could certainly get into that! Woohoo! Good to know that e is willing, he knows that it has been a fantasty of mine for a long time to be with two men. I just have not figured out all the logistics yet : ) Who will be where, doing what...etc. If anyone has any thoughts, I am certainly open to any and all suggestions! : )

So, all this play, and time with my pets will come to a screching halt next week, I am sure, when I return to work full-time. Ugh. I am going to miss having th e time to chat with everyone and get to know people. Bummer. But I will be SO grateful to have an income again! Woohoo! I think alot of my self-confidence and self-esteem will return with that as well.

pet has expressed an interest in spending more time with our friends D and g. We had such a great time with them a few weeks ago, so I will reach out to them shortly and try to schedule something. I think pet's interest really lies in having D and I dress him and g up in their feminine garb and see what happens. Could be very interesting : )

So this cuckolding thing. I have been having some very hot fantasies about having one man fuck me while pet watches. A few days ago I had a very hot fantasy about two cops showing up at our door; and I assured them that I thought that we could "work something out." I called pet to come home from work, and when he came home, one of the cops had me up against the wall, facing the wall, while he fucked me from behind, while the othe cop stood by rubbing his cock getting ready to fuck me. When pet arrived, I told him to stand off to the side and watch. Now, not that most women don't have some kind of "oh, Officer, isn't there something I can do to get out of this ticket fantasy?" But the twist, of course, was making pet watch. The more I think about that, the hotter it gets!! Woohoo!! I never, ever, thought I would feel this way, but then again, I never thought I would any of the things pet and I have done together either. So there you go...

I think most women have fantasies about being with two men at once, again, the twist is pet being made to watch, while I enjoy myself, of being made to service the other cock in the room. pet is very amenable to this fantasy, very willing to serve and make this happen for me, so the longer I think about it, the hotter it gets, and the more and more excited I get about actually making it happen.

As usual, scheduling and timing are always an issue. And, as an added bonus, we got some news last weekend...pet's youngest child has expressed a desire to come live with us, full-time, as well. While pet and I are both thrilled that she wants to do this, and we are very happy, this also means even less alone time for us, and time to make our fantasies come true. That whole process will take a long time, and of course, some drama with his ex...but if that is truly what she wants, then of course, we will do our best to make it happen. Another court battle on the horizon I fear, but we love her so much, I would not have her be anywhere else : )

Lately, the last few mornings, I have been violating pet's ass before he gets in the shower to head into work. I find that this is a nice way to start the day, exploring his anus with my fingers, and getting him hard first thing : ) Of course, pet wakes up with quite the hard-on for me every day, but this just adds a little something extra to our morning. pet has also started having to wear his garter belt every day this week. Next on my agenda for pet is the daily wearing of a bra, but I need to fit him for a proper bra first, can't have too much showing underneath his T-shirt and dress shirt now can we? : ) pet is also back to shaving his legs on a regular basis, and he is quite smooth : ) Or rather SHE, my Marisa-pet is quite smooth these days : )

Dom D has asked for pictures of my breasts. Honestly, I don't have any right now I don't think, but maybe I should have pet take some? Might be nice to have some, as they are quite nice and round and full : ) I really have no right to be proud of them, I mean, it's only by sheer genetics that I have them. All the women in my family are top-heavy. I did catch Dom D opening oogling them today, and I can't decide if it bothers me or if liked it? Been awhile since I have been openly oogled by anyone but pet. I never see e openly oogle me, but that's ok : )

Wow, how random is this post? haha. Guess my head is all over the place. Oh well! Such is the life of this Crazy Domme!

More to cum-

-D

Just a Tuesday

2011-11-22T07:16:00.000-08:00

So...yep, that's what's going : ) Pretty regular day.

Kid up and off to school, pet up and off to work. Laundry is done, house straightened up. I had en errand to run today, but that is not going to work out.

I start my new job on Monday, which I am happy about. It seems like it will work out, I have not heard anything to the contrary, so that is good. I also have an interview this afternoon for another job, not real sure I am interested in it, but I know it would pay better, so I am not turning anything down at this point. It's a phone screen, so it's no real skin off my nose to talk to the company. I was contacted about a job yesterday, that would be a better gig for me, if it all worked out, but we will see. I will start the job I have, bird in the hand and all, and just see how everything else works out.

I'm still broke, ugh, the unemployment has not kicked in/retroed yet; should be a pretty hefty check when it breaks free, but that would be another week or so, so we shall see how well/if all that works out. So, I am seriously dependent on pet right now, which sucks, but he is being great about it. Soooo supportive, I love him so much. Yesterday, I managed to get a very cheap haircut, and bought a box of cheap drugstore hair color, so at least I feel better about how I look : ) The haircut is decent for 13 bucks, got the dead ends off and it moves better, and the color is pretty good : ) pet's oldest helped me color it, so that was fun time for the two of us : ) Nice way to spend the afternoon with some girl time : ) I will very glad when I can afford to take both of us back to the salon again. Sigh.

This past weekend I had a nice girl's getaway with my 3 very good friends : ) It was great to spend some time away with my friends : ) pet was so supportive of that, he knew that I needed that time. God bless him, he went to help his best friend and family move. So I had a great time, and he worked all weekend : ( I think the time away was good for both of us : ) We missed each other, and I was VERY glad to see him when I got home! Yay pet! Sounds like the move he was a party was pretty disorganized, so he was a little frustrated, but oh well, he is a good friend and did the right thing by going. I am very proud of him : )

So my weekend was good, the kids were both at their mother's, pet was gone to help his friend, and I had time with my girl posse. We laughed, we cried, the whole gambit of emotions in 24 hours! My girls were wonderfully supportive, they sported the whole trip, knowing that I did not have the money to go at all. It's the little things people do that make all the difference....one of my friends lent me a spare microwave that she had, ours died a few weeks ago, and pet and I just don't have the money to replace it right now. One of the others lent me a pair of sunglasses, because of course mine busted last week, and no funds to replace those right now either. The time with my friend was much needed, and I was very grateful to have it. We are all going through some tough stuff right now, each in our own way, so it was good for us to be there and support each other.

pet and I have been pretty affectionate and touchy feely with each other lately, but not a whole lot of actual sex, and by that I mean penetration. The other night we did masturbate in front of each other....that was pretty hot. I love to watch pet beat my cock. OH! And I did let pet cum the other day....not sure why. Guess I felt sorry for him, looking all desperate and stuff, poor thing. It was ALOT of cum, that's for sure. It was more of a milking really, because I tried to make sure that he did not really enjoy it/have a true orgasm. So that was good : )

I have been chatting with the Dom still, no real progress there, except some hot fantasies/ideas exchanged. Scheduling has prevented us from meeting, but I am sure that that will be rectified soon. I was supposed to have a meeting with "e" this week, but not sure that will work out now, with the holiday and e going out of town an all, but that's ok, we will work it out I am sure : )

pet seems to think that I am really getting into this cuckolding thing, and I have to say that my fantasies of late would seem to true that up. I keep thinking about something the Dom said to me, that he wants to fuck me while pet watches. Which, I must say, I find really, really hot. As I told pet, the fantasy I have in my head involves us in a hotel room, the Dom is on top of me, fucking me hard, but I can't even see his face. I am focused on pet, he is sitting on a chair in the corner of the room, fully dressed, khaki pants, oxford shirt, sitting on his hands, as he is not allowed to touch himself at all. Our eyes our locked, I am naked, the Dom is fucking me hard, but I only have eyes for pet. I am completely focused on him, as my body is moved back and forth by the Dom. I can smell him, taste him, feel him, but my eyes are only for pet. My eyes belong to him. This is our moment, our intimacy, our fantasy. The Dom fucking me is simply a placeholder in our moment.

I am a firm believer that you must nurture your primary relationship. If you are going to invite others into your intimate relationship, some things are reserved only for your primary relationship, some things are special, some things are so important that they remain only for my love. My eyes and eye contact, are some of those things. I love my pet, love him so much, am so desperately in love with him. The cuckolding has not changed that, he is the One for me. My partner, my life, my love. If anything, the cuckolding has brought us closer together.

That's all for now, most fantasies to post later : )

-D

Up, Down, All Around and Dom D

2011-11-18T06:25:00.000-08:00

You ever one of those days where you just don't wanna?

Well, today is one of those days for me. I need to vacuum and straighten up the house as pet's parents are coming over later, and I don't wanna. I need to get my mother later and take her to the doctor, and I don't wanna. I need to take a shower and get dressed, and I don't wanna. I just don't wanna. I am not really depressed or anything, I just don't feel like it. I need to pack for my girl's weekend away that starts tomorrow morning early, and I don't really feel like doing that either. Ugh.

I am a little tired, woke up at 4 a.m. with some stomach issues, but they seem to have subsided now. pet told his oldest to school and I took his youngest. I had to ask pet for gas money this morning, that was humiliating and depressing, but I am trying to focus on the fact that I have a job now and will get a paychecks before Christmas, so that's good.

I feel kind of strange today. I have been chatting with a Dom that likes women of my type, short, chunky and busty and he seems interested in getting together for some fun. Which is fine, but pet seems very turned on by this idea. He says it is because I am seem very excited, which I am, I won't lie about that, the idea of being with another Dom, someone that is somewhat challenging to me, is interesting to me, and exciting. But pet seems much more excited about the idea then I would have expected. So I guess that it is making me feel kind of odd about the whole thing. He says he is jealous, and that is why it is exciting, but I don't know, it just seems strange right now, and I am not at all sure how I feel about the whole thing now.

Anyway, I am kind of all over the map right now anyway, so I am not sure how much to trust my feelings on anything right now. Honestly, I have been feeling so poorly physically of late that it is just hard to focus on anything. I am having trouble with my breathing, and I thought it was my seasonal asthma, and I know that my blood pressure is up, with all the anxiety I have been feeling of late, I just don't feel good. The breathing is better today, so that is good, still not perfect, but better. I am just so ragged out all the time right now. I am getting some things done, but not half of what I used to get done a few weeks ago. Sigh, it is very frustrating. I am waiting for my benefits to kick in so I can get to the doctor, get back on my meds, that should help.

And I am very horny, horny all the time for pet, but when it comes time to make love and I lay down, all I want to do is pass out and go to sleep. Poor pet, he is being very understanding, as I talk dirty and smack to him all during the day, and promise him hot lovemaking at night, and then I fall asleep : ( It's no good, he is being wonderful about it, bu I feel rotten for disappointing him, and I DO want to make love with him, so much, but I just keep falling out. Very frustrating.

Well, I thought I felt like posting, but not really-

Later-

D

Deepening Submission

2011-11-15T08:01:00.000-08:00

Things are looking up for team Domina. Having received her offer letter and working out how to cover the bills to fill the gap, she is definitely getting back in her normal groove. When she is happy, it means she is much more assertive, dominant, and sexual.

Recently, we’ve met another submissive on-line in another state that looks to need some friends to talk to. He’s little more than introduced himself to me, but had a few interesting conversations with Domina. In describing his circumstances, he admitted that he is cuckolded by his wife. He sounded rather distraught because she like to suck her lover’s penis, but has decided not to do that for sub hubby any more. No one ever said agreeing to be a submissive cuckold would always be fun and easy. Obedience and inferiority are elections that require effort. This is what renders value in these lifestyle decisions.

Fast forward to yesterday. I was sitting at my desk cranking my work. I had Domina on chat so we could be connected through the day. As being virtually close like that often makes me happy, I had an erection through much of the afternoon. This in turn was helping build up the sexual tension within me. This is a little embarrassing to admit, but I was quite wet at a few times during the day. At one point I was in the restroom. Dropping my panties, my cock was standing at ridged attention when I sat down. This is when I noticed how truly backed up I am. When a man is really horny, it’s not unusual for him to have a leaky penis. Precum is usually a clear juicy substance. Yesterday’s precum for me wasn’t clear. The droplets that formed atop my penis were filled with a creamy white cloud. My balls appear to be so heavy with cum that it’s busting out to escape me at any chance available.

Returning to my desk, I focused on my work, but no relief was in sight. Domina told me she was chatting with sub e. She was firming up her plans to dominate and fuck him later this week. That’s when it felt like the brick wall hit. I felt every bit the effects of her emasculating designs. There I was. I could feel the smoothness of my shaved legs. I was keenly aware on my polished nails and lacy undergarments. The wetness of my unsatisfied cock soaked through my pants. And Domina just told me she was making her plans to fuck another man.

To say the least, this was a very moving moment for me. I felt very emasculated, very inferior, and very submissive. My thoughts went back to this other sub Domina had been chatting with. What if Domina ever told me that she was going to stop sucking my penis, but would enjoy that activity with someone else? I realized in that situation I would have the fortitude to accept humiliation and lovingly embrace hardship it would be. I am Domina’s sissy cuckold and as long as this is our lifestyle I have no right to object. It is only by her grace that I’m allowed to be inside her at all.

A competitive jealousy rose up in me. I knew she was most likely telling e how she was horny for him and couldn’t wait for their time together. I wanted to be the sexual object he probably was at that moment. If Domina is going to have sex with others I need to make sure I remain a good lover so she will desire me most. I must remain on the sexually frustrated so that my cock can be hard anytime Domina wants it to play with. Domina has a burning desire to let herself go and give pain. I need to be more open to harsher treatment so she knows she can get that from me as well. I offered up my ass to her in case she wanted to work out some anxiety that evening. Most of all, I know that my submission holds her interest and I felt the pull to be of more service to her.

As Domina methodically continues her program to feminize me and exercises her rights as a cuckoldress, I am embracing the humiliation and jealousy so that it drives me to be a better submissive. The results of which make us very happy and draw us intimately close.

Horny Unleashed

2011-11-14T11:31:00.000-08:00

Unfortunately, with the title of this post, you are expecting some hot, sexy times, huh? Ummm...not so much, I just took it from something funny that pet said this morning which I will explain later.

So....things have been interesting and rough the last few days. I finally gave in to a nasty bout of depression that had been a long time coming, and for those of you that follow us I am sure that this is no surprise. My emotions have been all over the map, as my stress level goes up and down, and my anxiety is out of control alot.

This weekend was tough, we had both kids all weekend, and I struggled to keep it together, spending alot of time in our room. I am just overwhelmed with financial issues, pet is doing all that he can to help me, but there just is not enough to go around to all that want it, unfortunately. Such is the way of the world right now for alot of people. I know that I am not alone in this.

But, I did figure out a few things today, at least enough to make my car payment, so that should be a help, so that's good. One thing at a time, one day at a time, sometimes I am taking things one hour at a time, ha!

As pet mentioned, things are looking up for us. So that is good news. I did get a job offer, and finally received the official written offer letter today, so I feel much better about that. On Wednesday, I go have my health screening and drug test, etc, so I will be glad to get all of that hoopla done and over with. I start back to work (hopefully) on Monday, November 27th, the Monday after Thanksgiving. I am still concerned about the credit check, etc, but nothing to be done but just wait for that and pray that all goes well. Sigh.

pet and I managed to make love a little on Saturday, as I was trying to come out of my funk, and by Sunday afternoon I had pretty much conquered it. I spent the afternoon in the kitchen, which always seems to soothe me : ) I was raised on comfort food, and that all things ugly can be resolved in the kitchen, so spending time in the kitchen really helps to alleviate my anxiety. I made some good food, and was happy to feed it to my new family, pet and the kids : ) Everyone seemed to enjoy the dinner, and that makes me happy : )

pet and I managed to have a very nice morning together today : ) No lovemaking, but we just had some nice time togeher. I picked out his panties, purple today, and pet tells me that they are not very absorbent, as he is so hard and drippy for me : ) We have been having some hot IM chat today. I have set another "date" with e for Thursday morning, and that has gotten both of us pretty hot and bothered. I am looking forward to a day full of cock!

pet is also wearing a garter belt today : ) We are kind of road-testing it under his suit pants, so I will be interested to hear in how that felt to pet, to wear that all day today. I will have him post about that later.

So, my date with e is set for Thursday and I am pretty excited! Not nervous like I was last time, this time e and I know each other, have seen each other naked, and know better how things will work. We also have something of a plan for this encouter. e desires to be bound and hooded and I have given permission for that, he will bind himself before my arrival, and I will fasten the last bindings upon my arrival. e enjoys the sensory deprivation of a hood, and I will be interestd to see how I react to that. pet and I have used a hood from time to time, not all that often, so it will be fun to see how things work with e and his hood! e has quite a number of toys/bindings, and I can't wait to see him naked all bound up and waiting for me! haha! Good times!

So that's on Thursday. e will rent us a hotel room, which he will graciously leave to me for the night. When e and I are done, pet will leave work, and take his lunch hour, and come fuck me as well, fun times! I can't wait for Thursday, woohoo!! : ) And then, I think, I will probably need a really big nap and watch some cable! : )

It will be a nice mini-vaca for me which includes ALOT of cock! : )

So this morning, after I got done taking pet's oldest to school, and she was such a joy and pleasure this morning, as she was late, and all kinds of cranky about it, I came back to find my lovely pet still naked in bed : ) This is how I usually find him, but today he looked especially hot : )

We laid around together, talking a bit, and then I decided to suck his cock for a bit. I do love to suck pet's cock : ) He got hard immediately; as I tried to talk him out of the bed as it was time for him to get up. He finally got to the edge of the bed where I spread his legs, got down on my knees, and sucked his cock and balls in earnest until he was quite hard and very horny : ) He told me that his horny had been "unleashed" and I thought that this was pretty funny, hence the title of this post.

off to the shower he went, and off I went to start my day! Laundry, and all that domestic goddess shit that I do right now. I made sure the kid's uniform for work was washed, oh yeah, the kid got a job! : ) We are very proud of her, her first REAL job : ) She is working at a movie store, and seems to be pretty excited so far. So I made sure she had lunch, got her uniform ready, and left her my car key so that she could take my car. Well, the good times are almost over kid, D's going back to work!! Woohoo!!! : ) Thank God!! : )

Take care all, and I will report back in soon-

-D

Things Turning Up

2011-11-09T13:43:00.000-08:00

Wow! What a day the last 24 hours has been. First of all, what a trooper my sweet Domina is. To get the tags on her car updated she had to go down to city hall to get a hold on her account lifted. They claimed she had not paid the property tax on her vehicle. So off she went with her bank records to correct the deal. After squeezing a few hundred out of her with their shoddy record keeping, they then told her the hold couldn’t be lifted due to an outstanding parking ticket. Off again to the bank to get documented proof a 2 year old ticket was paid. Upon returning with her proof again, they then tell her that the ticket will still need to be paid a second time because the original payment was wrongly applied to a utility bill. Plus, as the account was overdue they wanted a late fee to boot. Now if all of this sounds unbelievable to you, the story isn’t over. The kicker is that after wasting a day fighting the bureaucracy, the meter maid wrote her a brand new parking ticket as was leaving.

Last night, despite all the stress, was a wonderful evening together. It was a little shakey when I returned about half an hour late from the gym. I was returning some phone messages. I fill the roll as chapter advisor for the college kids in my old fraternity. After getting them straight, Domina wasn’t happy that I didn’t get home sooner as she had a stressful day and needed my comfort. We got back on track and stayed up late talking as I rubbed her feet and back. The moment struck me. I was desperate to make love to her. I rolled over on top of her to share a few kisses, and as required by her rule, I asked permission to enter her. She gave permission.

She felt amazing as we made love. In a missionary position , I arched back and perched up on my extended arms so I could look into her eyes as our bodies continued to move together. I think there was a look of sexual desperation in my face. She looked back at me with a gaze of lustful intensity. The power welled up within her. She struck me across the face a few times before pulling me back down to lay atop her breast.

“I don’t know what you do this to yourself”, she casually commented.

“What that”, I whispered, hips methodically circling around her loins.

“You’re driving yourself crazy. You know you’re not going to be allowed to cum. You are a pathetic sissy cuckold bitch. I don’t want you to spill your juices in me.”

Upon telling me this I could feel a surge in her wetness as my cock glided effortlessly between her lips. I had already spiraled into a submissive high well before this, so the words were like poison honey in my ear. These were the words I longed to hear and the physical reaction on her part that I yearned to feel. I felt the very little at that moment. There was a time when we would talk like this to each other because it was hot. Now it feels to be taking form as reality. We’ve been very sexually active the past week. I’ve been forever hard and frustrated. And what do I do? I honestly encourage her freedom to have additional submissives and sexual experiences outside our relationship so she can experience complete supremacy and liberation while I learn to accept my place as an obedient panty wearing sissy. She made me repeat after her, “I’m a pathetic sissy cuckold bitch.” The words blistered my brain as it wasn’t play to me. This is more becoming how I feel in our D/s relationship and I appreciated her gentle scorn to reinforce my place. As I work to embrace all of this as a lifestyle, I find it strengthens me to receive Domina’s reinforcements. I am inferior to Domina and I wouldn’t want it any other way.

The other words I long to hear are those magical three. I told Domina I loved her and she told me she loved me. At this she had now touched my heart as well as my mind and soul. We kissed and I felt the warmth of her love on top of the flood of submissive emotions. Domina then told me of some rather degrading and emasculating fantasies she had of me before bringing herself to orgasm. The evening ended with her cuddling up against me as we drifted to sleep

The morning was as you might expect in regards to my hormones. But good news came with the sun. Domina received a job offer this morning and at the end of the month we can start going to work together! Wohooo!! She also texted me to inform me that the Old Spice that has been sitting in the bathroom was pitched out. She’s done with have ‘man deodorant’ in the house. And, as an additional note, we discussed Domina giving me an official task list again. We had trouble with this before largely due to living apart. Domina would like me to start improving my domestic services again and I’m excited at the prospects. So all in all, things seem to be on the upswing after hitting bottom yesterday!

A Very Different Day-Sunday

2011-11-06T19:41:00.000-08:00

Ok, so Saturday was good, it ended up with a screaming orgasm for me Saturday night, so this is a good day right? So...what happened to Sunday, you may ask? The answer is I have no fucking idea really. Sigh.

It started out rough, I had had a very restless night with the asthma, not able to sleep well, even with a sleeping pill I only got a few hours of sleep and that made me feel like crap. I tried to push through it though...pet offered to make me a nice breakfast of French toast, one of my favorites, and I decided to take a morning walk, so I got dressed for that. I thought the walk might help the breathing, exercise often does, slow, gentle exercise, of course.

So I started eating breakfast and I just didn't feel good. Lack of sleep, the breathing; I have to say, that there is nothing quite as frustrating and uncomfortable as not being able to take a deep breath when you want to! So I got upset and left the table to lay down. pet came to check on me, and a few minutes later I heard dishes in the kitchen....dammit!! The fucking dog had gotten to my French toast!! That was it; I proceeded to have what I refer to as a "full-speed-come-apart." I was just over it...everything.

I was over feeling bad, not being able to breathe, trying to deal with the damn dog (this is not his first time taking food that does not belong to him) being unemployed, being broke, trying to look for a job, trying to deal with our local unemployment commission, trying to make a home for anthony and his kids, trying to do everything and be everything right for everyone, just over it. So, I did what I do sometimes and sat down and cried. Just broke down. Poor anthony, he really is so good at dealing with me. He knows the tremendous amount of pressure I put on myself to do, and be, everything to everyone, and how, periodically, it sends me over the edge....and I just have to let go. He is wonderful during these times.

He strokes my back, tells me it will be ok, tells me he loves me, tells me that he knows things will be less stressful and anxious for me when I am employed again, he even tells me that he thinks I am sexy, can you imagine?? Red-faced, eyes swollen, heaving sobs, and the man manages to tell me, with a straight face, how much he desires me, and wants me, and as an added bonus he has a hard-on!! Can you believe it?? Now that did make me laugh : ) He always knows how best to diffuse me when I think I am really going to crack up and someone is going to have to take me away to the funny farm...I love him SO much!! I am SO lucky, and need to count my blessing so much more than I do. God knows he would be at the top of my list!! : )

So after while, like I always do, I calmed down. Took a little time alone, and anthony took a little nap. Somewhere in the middle of my crying jag I asked anthony if it would be ok if I canceled our evening dinner plans with D and g, our friends. anthony agreed, and he was so good about it, and wonderful, that it made me not want to cancel our plans at all. anthony has really been looking forward to our dinner plans, and was very excited when I said that I working with D on a dinner plan for this weekend, so I really hated to disappoint him, he has been SO good to me these last few months....

So, I did not cancel our plans, I decided to suck it up and stick it out and go. And I know, for me, sometimes, if I force myself to go out and see people, even when I REALLY don't feel like it, I can fend off what might be a nasty bout of depression. And I really did want to see D and g, they are such nice people, and my not wanting to go had nothing to do with them, I was just in a very bad place that morning.

So anthony and I spent a little time watching some TV and cuddling on the couch, and I got hot, so I got naked. Now, mind you, I was NOT the least bit interested in sex when I got naked, it was purely for temperature control purposes. See, I have been exercising lately, and eating a little less, and I have take off a little weight. Unfortunately, this makes my hot flashes worse, as the estrogen that is stored in my fat cells is released, causing more hot flashes...I mean seriously....really?? I am trying to do something good for my body and now I have to put up with more flashes???? Good grief Charlie Brown. I feel like the Halloween episode of Peanuts "It's the Great Pumpkin Charlie Brown" where he looks down at the bag of "candy" and says "I got a rock." Ugh...so the increased flashes is another thing that has kind of put me over the edge lately. And anthony's kids like the house really warm, and of course I have been dying...another reason I am not getting much sleep. But, I am sure that my body will adjust in time, this is the first winter we are all living together, and I just need to adjust to how they keep the house temperature.

Anyway, we are on the couch, so I decide to start playing with anthony's cock; which, is already hard, because I am naked : ) That's got to make a girl feel sexy right? And it does : )

Our show ends and I decide to take anthony to the bedroom. God love him, he just goes with it, knowing that I have been a crying hot mess just a few hours before this, I wouldn't go anywhere with me naked if I were him, lol, but he trusts me, thank God! : )

So in the bedroom, I have him undress and we cuddle and snuggle on the bed, finally he climbs on top of me and enters me...I am a little dry, but I like it like that sometimes, I like him to enter me and then make my pussy wet as we go...good stuff! It kind of depends on my mood.

We make love and it is hotttt!!! I was very worried about my breathing in all of that activity, but I have decided that anthony's cock is the magic cure for asthma! As we make love, I begin to breathe better, and I had an amazing screaming orgasm, after which, I feel VERY good. The breathing is better, the tension in my body is released, all thanks to the Magic Cock of Anthony!

We rest for awhile; anthony is still desperately hard and horny, just the way I like him. I beat his cock alot, never allowing him to cum, and I feed him the pre-cum off of his cock. He loves this : ) We decide we will take a shower together, to get ready for our dinner plans, and I am very glad now that I did not cancel our plans, because I am feeling much better, and am very happy and excited to see our friends : )

This was ONE HOT SHOWER!! I am not even sure why, but all of the sudden I felt very dominant and was slamming anthony up again the wall in the shower, taking kisses from him, thrusting my tongue into his mouth, biting him in different places, forcing my fingers into his ass, pushing, pushing, pushing my fingers into his ass and pulling, pulling, pulling on his cock! : ) Kind of like Dr. Dolittle's PushMe-PullYou....anybody remember that one? hahaha.

anthony soaps me up and cleans me, and this feels very submissive for him and dominant for me...very hot : ) Prior to our getting into the shower, I had set the stage for our D/s shower by sitting on the toilet, urinating, and feeding anthony the urine from my fingertips which was mixed with all of my pussy juices from our lovemaking. anthony seemed to find this quite pleasurable and tasty : )

The night before we had been discussing ways to make my urine more palatable for anthony, and how we could manage for him to drink some every day. Most of our readers know that we have participated in this sort of "water sport" before. Now, many of our readers may find this less than desirable, but, we have made a commitment to our readers, and each other, to keep this blog honest, and I can say, with all certainly, that we have at least done that. I for one, am very proud of both of us for that. Some of these things are not easy to discuss, and I am very proud that we are able to talk about them to each other; and then share our feelings with our readers in this open forum fashion. I think it is healthy for both of us and our relationship to have this type of outlet.

anthony finds drinking my urine a very submissive act, and desires more of it, to be more submissive to me in this way, and it excites him very much. So we are working on a plan to make that happen. We will keep our readers posted on that.

We finish up in the shower, and we are running a little behind now, but with good reason : ) We both haul ass to get ready and out the door and meet our friends.

We make it, just a few minutes late! And have a lovely, enjoyable evening with D and g. They have gotten married and become very young grandparents since we saw them last : ) They look relaxed and happy : ) g has had some health issues, but looks wonderful, and they both appear to be thriving in their love for each other. It makes me happy, and I was so glad I went. The conversation was lively and enjoyable, and we were busy catching up and the time just flew by. Eventually, anthony and I had to call an end to the evening to pick up his oldest from her mother's. It was really such a nice evening : )

We had a nice drive home, talking about what a nice evening we had, and anthony picked up his oldest, and a friend of hers to spend the night. Her friend is a wonderful girl that we both like very much, and we were happy to see her. I will take the girls to lunch tomorrow; and anthony's oldest bought me a little present on their trip to Target that night. I know it sounds stupid, but they were little holiday hand towels; she and I had picked up some for Halloween a few months ago, and tonight, with her friend, she picked out some for us, and the house, for Christmas :) It sounds really silly, but those dumb little hand towels almost made me cry : ) As crazy as that kid makes me; and she does make me crazy sometimes, I love her; and obviously she was thinking about me while her Dad and I were out tonight. Good stuff.

So, Sunday, although a very different day, ended up really, really good : )

Best wishes for a great week for all next week! More hot tales to cum!

-D

Breaking the Brush-Saturday

2011-11-06T19:05:00.000-08:00

Well, like the title of the post, I did break my brush on pet last night, broke the handle clean off! haha!

Here's a few pics of last nights activities....

Before some of you get too offended and think to yourselves..."wow, I did not really need to see picture of anthony's asshole that up close and personal, that is definitely an overshare." That particular picture is not really about showing it to our readers, but more about humiliating anthony by showing his sweet little rosebud of an asshole to everyone I want to show it to : ) So, sorry if some of you think it's too much, I happen to love that asshole, I love licking it, sucking, fucking it with a dildo, and violating it in all sorts of fun ways! And I know that embarrasses and humiliates anthony for me to post these pics, but it all turns him on to have me dominate him in this way...so there you go! All in good fun : )

As you can see, anthony and I actually had almost 24 hours alone together, and of course, some of that time was spent getting freaky! Woohoo!

We did a few interesting things last night. Obviously I beat anthony's ass until it was pretty pink, or at least I had to stop paddling him with my hair brush because it broke mid-paddle....whoops! Oh well, just have to buy a better, stronger, brush next time : )

I also tied a pink hair tie around his balls, and kind of squished and separated them, well, until they kind of turned blue, then I thought it was best to take the hair tie off : ) I do like his balls : ) Have I mentioned that anthony very much enjoys CBT?? : ) Good stuff! That's cock and ball torture for any newbies who are coming new to our blog.

As you can see, I also wrote "Fuck Me" on his ass with a big arrow pointing toward his asshole, that was for our readers : ) And trust me, I did give his hole a thorough dildo-fucking in the midst of all of our funtivities.....a VERY thorough fucking : )

We also had a pretty frank talk about our D/s last night. I told him that I felt overwhelmed with it sometimes, being the Dominant all the time, not that I want to be submissive (or that I even could be) but it is kind of exhausting when I have so many other things on my mind, other life stressors. I also told him that I was disappointed in his daily service to me, things that are non-sexual, and he asked what he should be doing for me that he would not doing.

We have this same conversation every few months; so I was little perturbed by the whole thing really. And anthony did acknowledge that we have this same talk every 6 months or so, he commits to me that he will do better and then the commitment fizzles out....sadly. Oh well, it is what it is. But for what it's worth, I am going to put my list of things that I have requested from anthony, here, on the blog, today, so that when we have to have this same conversation again, there is a record of the issue. So here you go:

1. Offer to brush me hair each night
2. Offer to give me pedicures (this does not happen unless I ask, several times)
3. Offer to rub/scratch my back every night (to give him his due, he does do this, but I always have to ask)
4. Offer to cook for me, breakfast or dinner, as is available

I think when I imagined us living together, I imagined a more service-oriented environment, where anthony would do things for me on a daily basis, non-sexual things.

Now, let's be realistic, if you have kids in the house, a 24/7 D/s is just not feasible. Not at all, BUT I do believe that there are things that anthony could do for me in a service-capacity that would not send up a red-flag to the kids.

So, there it is, but there are other things that I think he could do as well. This is also my frustration, I am the Domme, why must I come up with ways inwhich my sub should service me?? Isn't it part of his role to find new and interesting ways to take care of me, pamper me, and service me?? Hmmm?? Thoughts??

We had a very nice night, and I was very glad to be alone with him, where I could orgasm, and scream my lungs out! It felt so good to have anthony make me cum and just yell out loud about it! And God knows I am vocal when I cum : ) hee, hee. And that does turn my pet on....

More to cum-

-D

A Trip to the Woodshed

2011-11-06T18:51:00.000-08:00

So...to piggyback on to pet's last post, YES, we did actually take a trip out to the shed!

I am impressed with pet's last post, I like the way that he enumerated all the reasons that we should take that trip, and I agreed with all of them.

We had a very nice walk that night, it was cold, but we stayed moving. I have been having some trouble with seasonsal asthma these last few days, and pet has been wonderfully sweet and supportive while I try and work this out without taking an expensive trip to the doctor. I have an inhaler, and some other things I try before making that trip. Mostly it just makes me feel winded and tired, so that has been difficult the last few days...

So we are out for our walk, and it lovely, crisp and cold, as we talk about this and that. We are kind of poking at pet's suggested idea of a trip to the shed, and quite honestly, I don't think either one of us knew if we were really going to do it until we got done with our walk and back to the house.

But we both started walking towards the back gate when we got back to the house, no discussion really, just ok, we are doing this! I had raised a thought earlier, on our walk, that we needed to be very quiet and not alert my dogs....they surely would send up a skirmish of alarm barks, alerting the kids to our presence in the backyard after our walk. I am sure we could have come up with something on the fly for an excuse, but I REALLY did not want to be put in that position and neither did pet.

So stealthily we crept across the backyard and made it to the shed! Yippee! Now..what to do, we had not really discussed it...hmmmm....

I took the aggressive position, big surprise right? And kind of had pet lean over the workbench in his shed. I pulled his sweat pants and panties down and started whacking away at this ass with my hand. Unfortunatley, we did not think to bring out phones and take pics, so sorry about that folks!

I have to say, that it was a hot exercise, BUT, it was pretty cold, and without some sort of tool (no pun intended) to beat pet with, and spell my hand, the palms of my hands got pretty sore pretty quick. I know, I know, you are thinking, it's a tool shed, weren't there a HOST of tools to chose from?? Did I mention that we had not planned this out that well?? haha.

Anyway, I did not really see anything that it would have been appropriate to beat pet with so this session did not last very long at all, but was enjoyed by both of us, and I am pretty sure we will repeat this effort! : ) pet's ass was a nice shade of pink when I got done, and I was very wet from my efforts. I pulled on the back of his hair and said "Is this what you wanted bitch??" that was hot! Big fun for me!

We managed to get out of the shed, and back around to the front door, without alerting anyone that we there so kudos to us, and I kind of think that that was half the fun : )

I will report on our next trip the woodshed very soon! : )

-D

A Spanking Good Time

2011-11-03T14:45:00.000-07:00

Domina has been terrific this past month and more. Despite all the stress of looking for a job she manages to take care of the house while she is there as well as help care for my children. On the one hand I know she has the need to be productive, but on the other she’s exhausting herself trying to contribute over and above the stress and anxiety that she is under. She is an amazing woman!

On top of this, she’s been making time to exercise and she has noticeably slimmed down. She is looking gooooood! I think her looking extra sexy these days is likely contributing to the erection I’ve been sporting the last several days. This and her renewed efforts to keep me sexually denied. I find her even more sexually appealing when she shows the care and desire to manage my orgasms for our benefit. I’m still reminiscing of our time this morning, how beautiful she looked, how wonderful she felt in my arms.

To show my appreciation I made a suggestion to Domina a little earlier today. As we can’t be recklessly noisy indoors when the kids are home, I asked if she would like to take me out to the shed after our walk tonight where she can spank or paddle me. I said I thought it would be good for us. She agreed, but wanted to know why I thought it was good:

1. I know that she has a need to feel that power. It is a great physical and emotional release for her. With her anxiety over a job offer looming, I know she could extra use the pastime.

2. As her submissive, I want to be the one to satisfy these needs more. As our readers know, pain sometimes leads me to react with anger. I don’t act out in retaliation, but I’m not a good subject when I allow anger to help me cope with pain. I need to learn to be much more passive. I think Domina might like it much better, for several reasons, if say I learned to cry instead.

3. I need discipline. This would obviously be harsher than usual as it would be meant as pure punishment. I think we both acknowledge in our D/s relationship, and my behavior, would improve with this practice.

4. The intimacy would bring us together. I need to be more appreciative of her efforts to correct me. I should kiss her and thank her for her love. The release is for her, but the correction is for me. Sometimes it takes energy and I admit that it is of her love that she cares enough to make me a better partner and submissive to her.

As you can tell, I’m very excited! I can’t wait to see my Domina and kiss her!

Little Hot Times

2011-11-03T07:01:00.000-07:00

Good Morning All-

As most of you know already, I have been struggling with the whole no job/no income, being a burden to pet thing these last few months. That, has of course affected our intimate times. And for some reason, I am so tired when I hit the bed at night that I keep falling asleep on him : ( whoever thought that you could be so tired from NOT working???

I have to say that I am productive though, most days. Laundry done, house cleaned, dinner fixed, errands run, etc, in additional to looking for, and interviewing for jobs, talking and following up with recruiters, etc. And talking to the people who want money from me that I don't have : ( I will be SO happy to get back to work!!! Isn't that funny?

Anyway, had an interview that went very well yesterday, a 2nd interview and I think the job offer is coming in the next few days, but we will see. I am VERY worried about my credit rating and how that will affect the offer.....pet says not to worry so much, but I don't know, in this job market I am afraid that they will decide to go with a candidate that does NOT have the credit issues that I do : ( Ugh, so my anxiety is really high right now, which really messes with my sex drive. BUT, pet looks so good these days, and he is being amazingly supportive to me right now that I just want him SO much!!!

Last night, I forced myself to stay awake so that we could at least spend a little time together. So pet and I had a quick dinner, he bought me Sonic as a little treat for doing so well in the interview : ) I love Sonic!! haha. We would be working for the same company, IF I get the job, so we are both kind of excited about that, working just two blocks apart, we could see each other for lunch on a regular basis and commute in together if we wanted to : ) So....I am praying very hard that all goes well and I get this offer...please send me all your positive thoughts!!

So we had a nice little quick dinner, spent some time with his oldest, and then took a nice walk in the cold. I just LOVE Fall, this is my favorite time of year, and I love walking with pet, it is nice to just walk for awhile and hold his hand : )

We got home and he had a little computer work to do, and then we went to bed. We held each other and kissed, and stroked each other, and I had pet rub my feet. It is so nice to go to bed with him every night : ) I really enjoy living with him : )

So finally I start to stroke pet's cock, and I let him eat my pussy for a bit, I knew that he wanted to make love, but I did not really have the energy for that last night, the interview, and the stress of the day, really wiped me out.

So I stroke pet's cock for a bit, he is SO horny and desperate for me, and I LOVE it when he gets like that : ) The desperation is all over his face....eyes half closed, he is in the sub-space in his head, and I can definitely see it. My cock was dripping, dripping, dripping. He says that he leaves big wet spots in his panties at work when he gets horny for me there, and I think that that is soooo hottttt!

I continued to stroke pet, stopping often because he is on the verge of cumming alot, and we can't have that, now can we? : ) It is painfully obvious that he is not going to be able to enter me and make love without spilling his load, so I tell him that I will just "do it myself," and proceed to stroke my clit while he watches and strokes my cock. This is very hot for both of us, and we do this often when we don't really have the energy to make love. Eventually I cum, staring up into my love's face while he strokes his desperate, straining cock, and looks as if he is on some sort of opiate-based drug : ) he really does look very high when he is in the sub-space, and I love that look, he is beautiful that way : )

I allowed him to beat my cock for awhile, and I went on to sleep.

This morning, I asked him to take his oldest to school (I usually do that) and I stayed in bed, trying to relax, again, my anxiety is ridiculously high, waiting on this job offer, so I am having a hard time relaxing at all. Sigh. So pet comes back and crawls back into bed for a bit, I tell him of my anxieties, and he is very sweet and encouraging, telling me that he thinks it will ok. I truly hope so. We shall see.

Once I settle down, I start to stroke him again, and he gets hard instantly, he woke up hard for me as well : ) My cock is again VERY drippy and I feed him some of the pre-cum from my fingers. He says he "wants to be inside you so bad," so I said ok, pet always has to ask before he is allowed to enter me. He entered me and he felt SO good, and he was so very grateful to be inside me : ) He could not move much, or very fast, and we did not have much time as he had to shower to get to work, but our love-making was sweet and wonderful : ) Finally, I removed him from me and stroked myself to orgasm while he watched, and rubbed his cock up against me a bit. Then he went off to the shower, cock still VERY hard. I asked him if he wanted to beat it in the shower, and he said that he didn't think he had time.

Off to work pet goes : )

Since I very much enjoy looooong lovemaking sessions with pet, and I am not a big fan of the quickie, I am calling these intimate moments "little hot times." As they are not really your standard quickie, but just brief intimate interludes, which is all I really have energy for right now, so that is good.

I can't wait until some of my stress is alleviated and pet and I can get back to our regular hots for each other! : )

We have heard from some of our friends, D and g, and they are looking to get together, so we are both hoping to work that out for this weekend. They have had some trials and tribulations the last few months as well, and it will be good to see them. They got married a few months ago, and we have not seen them since they got married : ) It will be very nice to be social with people of our like-thinking, and be open. pet is very excited about that, as am I. It is a bit of a strain, not being able to open at home, with the kids around all the time, and us not really having much time alone at all. But, we are managing, it will be just be nice to see them if we can work that out soon : )

Ok, I think that's it for now-have a great day all!

Oh! And here is today's panty pic, enjoy! : )

-D

Why I Want to be Domina’s Cuckold so Badly

2011-11-02T15:05:00.001-07:00

As you can probably guess, this is going to be a heavy post! If you read us regularly you’ll know that I encouraged Domina to express her dominance by taking advantage of her sexual liberation if she so desired. We basically made loving promises to each other. She swore to be open and honest with me about anyone she was going to see. No secrets. I swore I would remain faithful and that she would always retain power over my sexual outlets. It took a long time to get to that point and afterwards we made sweet love together. It took even longer than that for her to physically take advantage of her freedom. That was good. She waited for the right moment with a man she liked and was attracted to. Surprisingly, she felt very at ease telling me about what happened and that she didn’t think of me at all during her experience. I was excited or her and even more accepting and supportive than I expected. This brings us to the problem. Perhaps I was too supportive?

Domina will most likely see ‘e’ again, but she has had a little trouble with me. Most specifically, would I defend her honor if some guy came up and made advances to her in front of me or would I get a hard on? Certainly I would take the insult for what it was and defend my prize. The question at hand is what is it different? Even though I can attest with absolute certainty that it is, it isn’t the easiest answer to verbalize. I’ve had to think on it a while. Being cuckolded is the ultimate act of submission and is therefore appealing to me. Having Domina hit on is an insult to me and is an assault to my masculine side that no one is allowed to take away save for Domina.

Let’s draw a parallel for a moment. Orgasm denial. This is about the most cherished tenant of our D/s relationship. Again it was I that asked Domina if she would control me in this way. Originally I asked her to do this for me, even though I thought it would be benefit us both greatly. Now the orgasm control is mostly enforced, and rigidly so, by Domina because it suits her personal desires and preferences. Do I want to cum? Yes! After about 5 days in denial I physically want to cum. Depending on how intimate we are, within a week I’m desperate. So what is in it for me you may ask? Every time we make love, every time I masturbate, every time I have a private moment that I could cheat, I choose not to. This is much more deeply satisfying to me. I chose submission over relief and selfish pleasure. It’s the more difficult and rewarding road to take. And if you follow the line, by choosing submission I am also choosing Domina because she is the one I want to submit to. Does that make sense? Follow me here. When we had short term break up a while back, you don’t have to guess what I did within 24 hours. I got myself off. It wasn’t because I wanted to have fun either. I wasn’t happy at all. I did it because I didn’t want to feel submissive. Even though I didn’t intend to hurt her feelings, she understood that even though she told me I was free to beat off during the period all I wanted, I was cheating. The cheat wasn’t in the sexual act of masturbating to orgasm. The cheat was in that I violated a rule of submission that Domina would have preferred I respected even apart. You may have thought I was like a kid in a candy store, but I felt guilty. It felt wrong to be physically self reliant again. As Domina scolded me later, I could have refrained myself. It wasn’t the sex with myself I was running to, it was the frustration of needing to be submissive that I was running from.

So what does this have to do with cuckolding? It’s quite simple really. The parallel is that when I’m cuckolded I have a somewhat similar choice between jealousy and submission. I want to express my love submissively so therefore I choose not to act on the self absorbed emotion of jealousy. The day before she cuckolded me we had some of the best lovemaking we’ve ever had. We were celebrating each other. I wasn’t all revved up because she was about to be with another man. I was excited that we were so strong, and our D/s was so strong, that we could take that step and feel even closer to one another. I know, the humiliation of cuckolding sexually stimulates me. But the fantasies I have about being Domina’s cuckold are not about imaging the sex acts that she may or may not have with someone else. I fantasize about the embracing of the deepest election of submission I can take and revel in the liberation she is afforded at my expense.

There are times when Domina asks me if I want to cum when I’m deeply desperate. My body is screaming at me and I may pause. But I generally pull together the presence of mind to say I trust her to decide what is best for us. We both value my submission above my pleasure. We are happier when I’m in need of her touch. The same is true for cuckolding. A year or two ago I would never have thought this way. But I trust Domina to do what is best for us, including our need to satisfy her sexuality and sadistically. When Domina feels powerfully attractive and I feel hopelessly submissive to her, we are at our best. For all she gives to me, my kids, and all the other people she touches, I love her. Likewise, I long to be her cuck. She is very careful not to abuse her power because she does not want to violate my trust. I too want to prove my loving submission will always outweigh the jealousy of self.

OPB=Other People's Blogs

2011-11-02T07:33:00.001-07:00

Well,I am afraid that my post won't be near as exciting and hot for all of you as pet's last post was : ) Our readership seems to spike when pet posts his fantasies, so I am proud of that : )

On Sunday, pet and I finally got a chance to sit down with my laptop together and look through some other's people's blogs. That was fun and exciting, I really enjoyed that : ) Some of the stuff we saw is pretty hot, but some of it seems just really out there. Like, it's probably not real, you know? If it is real, then good for those people getting their freak on like that! But, that is not who pet and I are, we are more vanilla than that I guess, haha, so I guess our blog suits us just fine : ) We like to post about real things, because real things do very much affect our intimate times, for sure. Sigh.

Anyway, sorry I am kind or rambling today. It has been a good and bad week thus far. More financial issues, and some unexpected ones at that, so that has been frustrating me, issues with my unemployment claims, which seem to all come down to paperwork filing issues (not mine) so that won't be forthcoming until I have a hearing on Monday with our state commission, nothing but fun there. So meanwhile, I am bringing NO money into the house, and while pet is being amazing about it, I know it must frustrate him to be our sole support right now. And I don't blame him. I hate, hate, hate, that I am not participating financially right now and I am trying like hell to get a job. Good news is that I have a second interview with one place this afternoon, hopefully that will go well and lead to an offer letter, which I will snatch up. Now I am concerned about my credit rating/issues holding me back from being employed, God I hope that is not a problem...there is no issue with my criminal background check, but the other stuff, I just don't know. pet says not to worry, that there are alot of people in the country in alot worse shape that I am, but it is disturbing to me nonetheless. I have never had to worry about something like this being an obstacle from employment before. Sigh.

My tenant did not pay her rent on time, so that money is held up as well. She says it is coming...we shall see.....sigh.

pet is being amazingly supportive, and I know that he is very horny and desperate for me, and I keep falling asleep on him. It's not that I don't want pet, I want him VERY, VERY much, it's just by the end of the day I am worn out. Who would have thought that spending the day talking to people about jobs and money that you don't have would be so exhausting? But it is, and I am not sleeping at night for worrying about money and finding a job, so it is just a vicious cycle. Ugh.

Anyway, poor pet pet is so horny and desperate, and I am so distracted : ( I know he wants me to get a job and an income as well so that we can get back on track, in alot of ways...

I love him so much, and I am so lucky, I don't know what I would do without him. But, I don't feel like I am meeting his needs at all right now. I feel very inadequate, in all ways. I am not bringing in a paycheck, so I am not meeting my financial responsibilities in the relationship, in addition, I am costing him money now because he is having to cover some of my expenses now. Which really upsets me, but just can't be helped.

Anyway, so pet posts this very hot post yesterday, and it is hot, and I know it is. But all I can feel when I read it is inadequate, these are his fantasies, this is what he wants, and in addition to being a burden to him right now, I can't even meet his needs sexually. I never thought I would be this person, but I really NEED to work, I need to have my own income, I need to be self-sufficient, and I need to feel like I am doing my part in the relationship. I don't feel any of those things right now, so I don't feel confident, much less dominant. So......pet posts this wonderfully hot post, and all I can think is, "this is not who I am, I can't make this happen for him." I love him, and I want him to have his needs met, but I can't do this right now...or maybe not ever? I don't know, I don't want to be a fatalist, but that is just how I feel right now, but it is not a good day to ask me what I can and can't do I guess.

I am trying to get it together for the interview this afternoon, I REALLY need to make this happen, to get the offer. The money is not good, about half of what I used to make, but the benefits are good and the jobs seems pretty stable. Stability would be good. Very good, and a steady income. Sigh. Trying to focus...all indications are if I don't screw this up today an offer will be forthcoming...we shall see.

So...I guess that's where I am at. Oh, here are today's panty pics : ) I did at least manage to do that for pet this morning : )

Have a great day all-

-D

Sissy Cuckold Fantasy - Part I

2011-11-01T14:22:00.000-07:00

As is the norm when Domina has a date scheduled with another man, the days beforehand we couldn’t keep our hands off of each other. The love making was hot and passionate. This day was no exception. Her evening plans consisted of dinner and a hotel rendezvous with another submissive. But before that, she belonged to me. Or rather, I was all hers. It had been about two months since I had been allowed an orgasm. I hadn’t even had a milking. So as you could guess I was ready to climb, if not hump, the walls.

I woke in the morning with an erection that was still throbbing from its unsatisfied activities the night before. Domina had a lazy morning sleeping in, but when she roused she wasted no time ushering me inside her again. My cock and balls felt like a lead weight between my legs. They we so engorged Domina gasped as I entered her. Over the years she became accustomed to what she says is my large penis. But there are still times she can be shocked at my entry when I could swear a pinprick could blow me out like a flat tire.

The days and weeks and hot sex had taken their toll on me. After a few moments the gentle rotary motions of my hips slowed to a snail’s pace. Slack jawed and in utter desperation I looked down at Domina. She had little patience to see if I could regain my stamina. At this point there was little hope I could make a come back as she reached down between her lags to rub her clitoris. When Domina was on the verge of cumming she bucked me off of her and enjoyed this last orgasm solo.

“I’m sorry, but you were dangerously close to having an accident weren’t you? I can’t have that right now. I need you to be very submissive today. I have a lot of plans for you and you know how cuckolding makes me feel. I’m going to need you to be extra attentive and feel your love and support when I get home.”

“Yes Ma’am” was all I could say. Most likely the blood trapped in my cock caused a deficit of the oxygen being carried to my brain. I was dizzily light headed.

“Besides”, Domina smiled wickedly, “if you can’t fuck me like a man you certainly won’t be allowed to cum like one. Steve isn’t denied like you and doesn’t have your kind of problems. Don’t you worry, my love. I’ll get all the hard sex I need tonight.”

It’s true. While Domina swears by the virtues of denying me sexual release for extended periods of time, the drawback is the toll it takes on my stamina. I’ve learned to make love for hours in this condition, but it becomes increasingly slow and tender. Sometimes, however, a woman just needs a man to go at it with reckless abandon.

I spent the afternoon naked save for my collar. I cooked breakfast and was allowed to eat at her feet while she dined at the table in her bathrobe. Occasionally she would pet the top of my head with her foot and run my hair between her toes. At other moments she would catch me feeding and use her foot to grind my face deeper into the dog bowl I was expected to eat from. Aside from this it was a rather lazy weekend afternoon. We cuddled together as we watched a movie. Domina wanted to wear open toed shoes for her date and decided we should give each other pedicures. She selected a hot red polish for her nails and a sparkly pink for mine.

I was still very hard most of the afternoon but I kept my squirming to a minimum. Eventually though, it was time to prepare for Domina’s date and the comfort of the soft bed and warm blankets came to an end. Taking me by the hand she led me into the shower and had me kneel in front of her. There was a moment of silence as Domina glared down at me. I felt smaller by the moment even as my cock did the reverse.

“Do you love me?” she demanded.

“Yes Ma’am”

“Whose bitch are you?”

“Your bitch, Ma’am.”

“That’s right. You are my sissy bitch! What kind of man let’s his woman tell him he can’t cum for months at a time and then gets turned on because she’s going to go out and fuck someone else?”

“A sissy bitch?” I asked.

“That’s right. A little sissy cuckold bitch! You really have no idea how hard I’m going to make Steve cum. I’m going to rock his world its going to make him feel so good. That will be his reward because he’s a real submissive man, unlike you. You don’t deserve to cum like a dog.”

Domina grabbed my hair and tilted my head back so I was forced to look up at her. I could feel my cheeks turn crimson. This had to rank up there with my most humiliating moments, but I was further embarrassed by the fact that I was keenly aware of how hard I was at that same moment. I couldn’t see, but I was positive the precum was profusely leaking out from me and that Domina could see the shameful display. Another nervous moment in silence passed for me as I felt her eyes piercing me.

Without rhyme or reason her tone softened as her hand dropped to stroke my cheek in a loving display of affection. “You’ve sworn to me that you will remain faithful to me”

“Yes Ma’am”

“I’m going to play with another submissive tonight and it is also going to be highly sexual. In the end, he’s going to cum and be satisfied. I am going to beat him and cum and be very satisfied. You, on the other hand, will be very hard and frustrated at this days end. Do you understand?”

“Yes Ma’am”

“Do you accept these terms?”

“Yes Ma’am I do.”

“Do you reaffirm your pledge to me to be faithful?”

“Yes Ma’am I do! I will always be faithful to you” I felt the urge to lean forward and nuzzle against her thighs. I wanted to feel that physical contact but could sense that it wasn’t the time.

“Tell me you love me, slave”

She hadn’t referred to me as a slave before. It was thrilling as well as surprising. “I love you with all my heart.”

“Say it again and keep repeating it.”

“I love you. I love you. I love you…”

In the midst of my vows, Domina tossed her head back and I could see she was relaxing her body. I followed suit, tilting my head back and relaxing in anticipation of what was to come next. The warmth of her urine caressed my flesh as it streamed down my face and neck, running freely down my body. I could taste the salt of her nectar on my lips as I did not falter in the continuance of my professions.

The sheer expression of power made Domina look like she might auto-orgasm. Overwhelmed by the moment she raised a hand and struck me across the face. Not too aggressively, but not that lightly either. The sound of the smack made her gasp in amazement. Reigning in her power though, she reached for me. I accepted her hands and she helping me to get back on my feet. “I love you too,” She said admiringly.

I wanted to embrace her but obviously looked confused as to what to do. With a slight laugh she reached behind me and cut the shower water on. “Now rinse yourself off so you can kiss me.”

-end part I

-a

To be Mean or not to be Mean

2011-10-26T15:21:00.000-07:00

A few nights ago I was catching up on the blog. There are many more blogs out there about people’s private and kinky lives than there use to be. It’s good to know that there are others experiencing the same desires and adventures we are. It may be time to update our “parallel paths” links.

To get back on subject, Domina and I shared some conversation on what some other people out there were doing. One blog in particular, I have to go back and find it, was written by a woman that was very heavily into cuckolding. I have to give the woman credit, because she wrote something that really stuck to me. She told one of her bulls that he needed to understand her husband wasn’t letting him have sex with her, it was part of their relationship that he allowed her to have sex with others. I can kind of see where a bull might get confused. The element of humiliation may lead an outsider to think that the cuckoldress disrespects or does not love her man. Most of the exploits discussed on these types of blogs typically discuss the D/s related elements of such activities and downplay how the intimacy of it all pulls many couples together.

Anyway, reading about how some of the submissives were being treated promted Domina to ask, “you wouldn’t want me to treat you like that do you? You know, that mean.”

I hesitated. I really didn’t know how to answer. It was both yes and no. One the one hand we’ve well established that humiliation is a sexual stimulant to me. In a state of humiliation I’m much more submissive, happy and eager to be used. However, I’m not always in that frame of mind. In one moment Domina could tell me something like: “Get on your hands and knees you sissy bitch. You’re going to eat your dinner like a dog and scrub the floor with your toothbrush when you are done because you don’t deserve to be treated like the man I’m going to fuck later tonight.” I would be naked with an erection wanting nothing more than to prove I could obey. At another time, maybe after a hard day of work and doing my best to be all for all, I might insulted when I need to feel appreciation.

In the D/s relationship, the dominant again has the tougher job. She has to know when the buttons are green and when they are red. Typically, I think they can be green all the time. It’s like the scientific story about cooking the live toad. If you toss the frog in boiling water he’s going to jump out. If you put him in cool water and gradually turn up the heat he will happily let himself get cooked. A few kisses and some playful teasing, it doesn’t take a guy long to get those submissive juices flowing. Gradually turning up the heat to full blown emasculation and humiliation, your sub isn’t just eager to wash and dry the dishes, but be on his hand and knees scrubbing her Majesty’s bathroom with a toothbrush.

Yes, it may sound mean. To those that don’t understand a D/s relationship at all, it may sound abusive. But to the D/s couple that want to experience complete power exchange, it makes sense. There was a time Domina, wasn’t comfortable about rationing orgasms. Now she typically doesn’t care if I cum because she finds it easier to dominate me when I’m frustrated. As well, I love the feeling of submission that her sexual control gives me. I think the stricter harsher experiences like this are likely to have a similar effect over time.

-a

Birthday Pet

2011-10-26T05:52:00.001-07:00

Good Morning All!

Well, today is pet's birthday, he is 43 today : ) I love him so much, and am so proud of the pet and man that he is! I am a lucky, lucky, owner!

So, this morning pet and I made love and it was wonderful : ) Vigorous and sweet all at the same time. I asked pet if he wanted to cum for his birthday, and he said that he was torn between wanting to cum, because it would feel good, but he knew that I liked him horny and desperate so he did not want to. So bottom line is, he did not cum, but I sure did! : )

Well, unfortunately, I can't afford to do anything or get pet anything for his birthday. This disturbs me to no end, but there really is not much I can do about it. I got hosed on unemployment because I actually took a temp job and WORKED, God forbid you should actually work a few hours in this system....and I will get hosed next week as well. Oh well, it is unbelievably frustrating.

On the up side, I have been chatting with e, and he is working out hotel locations for us to meet up. He is very busy at work, but when things slow down a little I am sure that we will make that happen. I am very much looking forward to my next encounter with e, and once again cuckolding my sweet pet. And I did email a bi-sexual submissive on Collar Me as well, and I think he has responded, but I need to check that email, as I am not sure, will report back! I think pet and I could have quite a good time with a bi-sub...woop woop!

Not much in the mood for anything freaky right now, I hate to say it. Lack of work and money stressors have put me over the top today, quite honestly, and I did not have the best day yesterday either. Tensions with pet's oldest, and his father last night, just make me feel like throwing up my hands and throwing in the towel sometimes. I don't feel that I am being treated appropriately, and pet agrees. Not much to be done though, and the last thing I feel is dominant right now.

I do have another interview scheduled for this coming Monday, at pet's place of employ. We shall how that goes, it does not pay much, but the benefits would be good, and it might lead to something else, but first I have to get the offer, which obviously, is the challenge. My interviews from the other day appear to have gone well, as there has been quite a bit of follow-up from those employers, so we shall see. My confidence level is totally in the floor right now.

pet and I did have a nice dinner alone last night, so that was very nice, and this morning was really nice too.

I hope that all have a great day, and please enjoy today's panty pics, doesn't pet have a great butt?? : ) It makes me smile every time I see it!

-D

Wet Pet

2011-10-25T05:55:00.000-07:00

Good Morning All!

Please enjoy these pictures of my wet pet beating his cock for me this morning in the shower! : ) You also have a pic of today's panties : )

Not much freaky to report right now I am afraid...pet and I have been busy, busy, busy! I worked all weekend at a temp job, and am fried as a result, but I need the money, so there you go. pet has been picking up the slack around the house so that I could work. We have had some issues with his oldest not communicating with her mother, so that has taken a bit of a toll on both of us, ugh.

I had two interviews yesterday, met with 4 people, ugh....I think 3 out of 4 went very well. So we shall see. I am back on the job hunt today. I finally broke down and filed for unemployment. I REALLY did not want to do it, but no choice really, bills to pay and no income, so there you go......

Money and no-job stress have taken a toll on me of late, I am trying to deal with it hte best way that I can, but facts are facts, I am just stressed. pet and I have , enjoyed some intimate times in the mornings, so that has been nice : ) Yesterday I had him beat my cock with a dildo up his ass while I got ready for my interviews, so that was pretty hot : )

And this morning, obviously, he beat my cock in the shower, I had already spent some time beating it this morning as well : ) I have let pet cum too much lately and he is not nearly as desperate or horny as I like him to be, so that has to come to and end, pardon the pun. haha.

So, that's what's going on with us. We miss each other, we are never alone. His oldest is pretty much refusing to go over to her mother's when she says she will, and she has not been going out lately and seeing friends at all, so she is with us all the time....I LOVE her to death, really I do, but pet and I need a little space. If there were some money I would say that we would go away, but there just isn't money for that right now. Sigh.

pet's birthday is tomorrow, and I am afraid that that will be slim pickins as well due to my financial straights. I was expecting a deposit in my account today, that did not happen for some reason, so that kind of gives me a problem. Sigh.....

Anyway, trying not to dwell on that too much right now. I have house to clean and jobs to look for, and I think I will visit my mother later this afternoon.

Take care all and enjoy the pics!! : )

-D

Tuesday-Just a Regular Day

2011-10-18T06:03:00.000-07:00

I wish I had a better title for this post, but I just don't : )

I am honestly a little ragged out today, believe it or not, I was pretty busy yesterday for someone with no job! I did a lot of running yesterday, ran the kid to school, ran my best friend's mother, who is in a physical rehab center after hip replacement surgery, to see her father, who is in the hospital after surgery to have one of his legs amputated from the knee down, ran back home to do job search stuff and fix the kid's lunch, then back on the road to run the mother back to the rehab....then back home, woo, I am a little worn out today! Very sweetly, pet picked up some Chinese food for dinner, so that was nice, we had a nice family meal last night, even though I did not cook : )

So today, I am very glad to be home and just dealing with job search stuff and house stuff, and back to cooking : ) So, I have done a load of laundry, dusted the furniture, wiped down the counters in the kitchen and vacuumed some, and oh yeah, washed the dog, again, poor thing, she is so stinky : ( I think it's her food, so I have changed that, hopefully that and the bath will help her. And the other one is constantly itchy, again, I think it's the food. So yep, this post started out kind of boring, but this is the stuff life, the stuff I am dealing with right now : ) Not complaining, pet is taking good care of me. I have the meds that I need, pet took care of that for me, we have food, and we are warm/cool as needed, life is good : ) We have more than a lot of people do today, and I am grateful.

pet and I are doing very well, communicating well, and I am very proud of us : ) We are even figuring out how to be intimate, and carve out some time alone, with the kids around! : ) Let's just say that "sleeping in" on Saturday and Sunday mornings is really working for us, and this past Saturday we managed to squeeze in some hot times among all of the other weekend stuff that the kids had working. So yay for us!

Of late, I have been allowing pet to cum a lot more. I allowed him to cum Sunday morning, after violating his ass Saturday night and Sunday morning. I must say, I think I did a pretty good job of violating his ass, and making him feel like the sissy-full-of-cum slut that he is : ) I used one dildo Saturday night, and one Sunday morning, a little bit bigger, so he had a variety of fake cock of his ass. On Saturday night I actually sucked the cock while I fucked his ass with the dildo, which pet seemed to quite enjoy, good stuff! On Sunday morning I made him put his new outfit on, skirt and tank top, and bent him over the bed and fucked him a variety of ways, big fun! : ) Oh, and pet seemed to enjoy that as well. haha.

Not sure what is up with me and allowing him to cum, it just seems natural right now, I guess maybe that will change again, it seems our D/s and those activities have an ebb and flow to them, and of course it all depends on stress levels.

I am still out of work, and as usual, pet is being amazingly supportive, but I am frustrated, so I am very proud of both of us that we are managing to maintain our intimacy and get through these tough times : ) As pet says, "things will turn around for us." I do love him.

Here are today's pics for the panty choice, please note the little rosettes on the panties today, I actually bought these for myself, but never wore them, so pet gets to : ) I am bummed that the picture I took of him actually wearing the panties did not seem to transfer/download from my phone, it was a good pic. Oh well, tomorrow there will another set of them.

Tata for now-

-D

New Week-Something Different

2011-10-17T05:49:00.000-07:00

Good Morning All!

Don't have much time to post this morning, much to do today, but wanted to share some quick pics of Marisa pet starting off the work week right! : ) pet's garter had been MIA for some time, but I found it yesterday, so she is back to wearing that on a daily basis. And of course, we have our daily panty pick, but today we have added a little something extra : ) Today Marisa is wearing thigh-high stockings underneath her suit pants! How much fun is that?? This should serve as a good reminder for pet of her submission and subvience to me. I spent some quality time violating her asshole this weekend, so if those memories don't do it, this should!

More to cum on weekend events later, must fly, but here, enjoy the pics!

0D

What is Normal?

2011-10-14T13:36:00.000-07:00

The other night Domina was helping me get into my new night gown. Having eyeballed it off the rack, she complimented herself on her good taste and ability to judge size. She asked me how I felt as her hand glided over the silky material. As usual, I sheepishly admitted I liked it. For the first time I will put it out there. I felt sexy. My legs looked good. I felt curvy and keenly aware of how the high hemline contoured my butt.

There is a mix of emotions when Domina fems me up. The main force there is that I feel very submissive. The more emasculated I am, the more lowly and obedient my mindset becomes. There isn’t a guy can put up a macho objection to much when he is standing there with an erect penis dressed up in a mini skirt and lipstick. I respond sexually to humiliation as evidenced by the hard on I usually have when Domina dresses me up. The embarrassment of being sexually stimulated leads to further humiliation which produces more sexual excitement in a revolving circle. But to my further embarrassment, I have begun to have feelings of enjoyment at being feminized for the sake of being feminized. I like the way Domina looks at me lustfully when I put on a snug pair of jeans or a well fitting suit. But now I’m getting the same looks when I’m in a mini shirt and heels. It makes me feel sexy in a new way.

After we slipped into bed and were petting on one another, she told me how she wanted me to get used to being femmed up. She would like me to learn to accept it as a normal, commonplace existence. (Except for days she rather view me nude in my collar for variety!) There was a ring of excitement in her voice. Her fingers were wrapped around my penis as she spoke, so she knew immediately I was excited at the prospect as well. The desires to be humiliated and cuckolded building within me, we fed off of each other’s energy at the thought of developing this aspect of our D/s relationship.

The not so obvious question is what is normal? I keep waiting for some couples out there to tell us ‘good for you’, ‘been there and done that’, ‘about time you got with the program’. In most likelihood there aren’t going to be many of those people. If it was the path most chosen it wouldn’t be abnormal to begin with!

Is normal lowering my eyes in at the mirror or embracing the image looking back at me?

Is normal being embarrassed because I look silly or taking pride that I may try to look sexy?

Is it more normal to want to feel free from pride and dignity or feel independent by clinging to the masculinity that detracts from my obedience?

We have our friends that are in this lifestyle. Should the norm be that we guys should dress up as ‘gurls’ in the future or do the ladies prefer dapper men as a default?

Is it normal to feel embarrassed and excited or will this change in time?

We talk a fair amount about how we both like the thought of me being Domina’s sissy maid. This has always been in a D/s context for the way it makes us give over to our roles as dominant and submissive. I think it has also played a part in promoting the experimentation we have made with cuckolding. However, I can honestly say that my fascination with feminization has always evolved around the desire to be humiliated and submissive. I’ve never been a closet cross dresser nor had the urge to wear women’s clothes. But you should see how Domina looks at me when she dresses me up! I begin to feel like a sexual object and I like that. Is that what normal really is? Is normal the shift from feminization being more than a symbol of submission to something that I would engage in otherwise?

The mere fact I’m having this conversation within my head is embarrassing and therefore making me desire to run home and be Domina’s adoring sub maid. I’ve long transitioned from boxers to panties. Old spice is a scent of the past. I’m starting to think of other ideas like… maybe I can give up dark socks in favor of black stockings. As you can probably tell, my mind is in a submissive frenzy!

A Hot Walk

2011-10-14T07:28:00.000-07:00

Good Morning All-

So, things are really good with pet and I : ) We are enjoying each other's company, desiring each other very much, and spending as much time as we can together : ) Our relationship is really good, we are communicating well, our D/s is progressing and we are feeling very intimate these days, all good stuff : )

So, the other night we were laying in bed having a very nice discussion about intimacy, and kind of stroking each other, I was allowing pet to stroke his cock in front of me, and for me : ) We were discussing how pet enjoys being humiliated and embarrassed by me....he was stating how he is not allowed to cum like a man anymore and because of that he has a hard time making love to me like a man as well. He mentioned something about "e" being allowed to cum and fuck me like a man, and I told him that that was because e was above him. That he was higher than pet. Boy, did that ever make the cock hard!! Obviously that was the right thing to say! Ha!

Anyway, the conversation progressed from there and we got all hotted up! I made myself cum twice while I watched pet beat my cock. I love watching pet beat my cock, he looks so desperate, and I love the look of desperation on his face, hot, hot, hot! And of course, pet was not allowed to cum, he already got some bonus orgasms this year : )

So lately, pet has been on the healthy train, trying to eat well, and going to the gym every night. We have been eating out much less, to save money, and I am cooking more, so I think we are all eating a bit more healthy these days.

I am very proud of him, I think he looks great anyway, but I know that he feels better when he is in shape, and doing some kind of exercise several times a week. So I have been happy and supportive of his gym efforts. This week he has invited me to go on a few walks with him in the evenings, which has been very nice. It gives us a chance to talk alone, without the kids around, and for me to vent about my job search/money frustrations, etc. Let's face it, pet is supporting me right now, feeding me, putting some gas in my car, and he will pay the periodic bill for me if I ask him to. I REALLY try not to ask, but sometimes, it is necessary. Sigh.

Anyway, I don't want to get all into that and depressed in this post, this is supposed to be a hot one : )

So pet and I are walking last night, having some good, productive conversation, and I start feeling amorous so I started to feel my cock up, and it started to get hard, soo....I took it out! : )

pet lives in the epitome of suburbia and there are no street lights in his neighborhood, or the neighborhoods around his area, so there was no one to see : ) it was also pretty late at night, so there was no one moving about. So there we were, taking our walk, a lovely stroll, with pet's cock out, and for some time, with me leading him around by holding/pulling on his cock, and feeling up his ass! It sounds like it might be difficult to walk that way, but it was really not, surprisingly so.

pet's cock was very hard as we spoke of his submission, and the way that he likes to be humiliated and embarrassed by me in public. he mentioned that he would pull his T-shirt down if there was oncoming traffic, and I said that that was something he would need to ask permission for...well, that got my cock even harder! haha

So we went along that for some time. When we finally got home and got naked, we cuddled close, and I am sure that pet would have liked to have some sexy time, but I was just wiped out and kind of fell asleep on him : ( I have been doing that lately, unfortunately, the dogs have been keeping me up at night, with the rain storms and some allergy issues....sigh. And I am just a little tired all the time right now. I am not even working, how sad is that!

Ok, back to being a domestic goddess for me, and the job search, ugh.

Hope all have a GREAT weekend!

-D

TPP=Today's Panty Pick

2011-10-12T05:50:00.000-07:00

Good Morning All!

Attached please find some fun photos that I took this morning of my panty pic for pet today : ) I hope that you all will enjoy our new ritual as much as we are : ) This morning I laid the panties on the bed out for pet, so that when he came out of the shower they were there waiting for him. When I asked him how he felt about that he said he felt very "special" and he thanked me for picking them out for him. I hope that I can continue to do this for pet going forward.

I will post more later, but that is all for now, enjoy the pics of pet!

Have a GREAT day all!

-D

Naked Pet

2011-10-11T06:07:00.000-07:00

This is a picture of my lovely naked Marisa pet from this weekend : ) I just love the body so much, in man or women clothes, but mostly I love him/her nude! : ) Nothing much to post this morning just yet, although I am cooking up a few ideas for a post in a bit, some fantasy stuff I have working in my head this morning.

pet and I had a lovely morning. His oldest was running late for school, so after I took her in to school we had just a few minutes alone together. I sucked his penis for a few minutes, freshly cleaned from the shower and happy to see me : ) And he thanked me for all that I do around the house, taking the kids to school, etc. He will never know what that bit of appreciation meant to me this morning. We shared a lovely hug and some kisses just before he left for the day. All in all I would say it was a great morning! I am looking forward to seeing him later!

That's about it for now, enjoy the picture of my lovely naked pet!

Have a GREAT day all!

-D

Whoops, Forgot the Toes

2011-10-10T09:40:00.000-07:00

Oops! I almost forgot! pet and I did each other's toes this weekend as well : ) Here is a picture of his, that I elected to do in a lovely shade of mauve : ) He did mind in a hot shade of red, of course! More pics to come in his new outfit and nightie!

Enjoy!

-D

The Second Cumming

2011-10-10T08:54:00.000-07:00

I do love the periodic pun : ) As you all know from reading my posts here...

So, as Marisa posted earlier, we have seen her triumphant return : )

I have to say that I most enjoyed our shopping trip on Saturday : ) I enjoyed the embarrassment of my pet, as I held the clothes up to him, trying to guess his sizes in women's clothes and shoes....so we got pet a very cute little black mini-skirt with white polka-dots, a cute little black tank top, and some strappy, black, sling-back pumps. I am pretty impressed with my ability to guess all of pet's sizes, everything fit him very well! Although, it was pretty funny, when he put on his little skirt and his big hard man-cock was poking straight out! haha, it was pretty entertaining! : ) I enjoyed watching my pet dress in his new outfit, and obviously he enjoyed it as well. We also got him a little black slip of a nightie, with little spaghetti straps, all silky and shiny, and very short to show off his fabulous legs.

It was very strange watching pet look at himself in the full-length mirror that I brought from my house, once he was all dressed. He seemed to be quite fascinated with his legs in heels. I must admit that they looked really, really good in the short skirt and heels, hotttt!! : ) He seemed quite taken with himself for a few minutes : ) I had to call him back to th bed, he seemed to want to stare at himself quite a bit : )

I informed pet that it was that leg-shaving time of year again. Now that the weather is getting cooler, and pet does not have to wear shorts, it is time for him to get back to his grooming rituals for me. We have started a new ritual also of me picking out his panties every morning, although I have been a bit slack lately, busy doing other things first thing in the morning, but I think we will both enjoy this ritual in the morning going forward.

I am afraid that pet is not feeling very submissive today, although we did have quite the intimate weekend, I did not violate his ass like I planned to (and like he wanted me too) so I am sure that that is a disappointment to him. BUT, I was very, very kind to pet. I let him cum Saturday night, and AGAIN this morning, can you believe it? What a benevolent Mistress I am! I am not even sure why I did it, I just felt like it.....something just came over me, lol!

As we all know, pet's submission takes a hit when he cums, and since I let him cum twice in 48 hours, I am concerned that his submission is pretty much shot to crap at this point. At least for the next few days anyway...it always comes back, but the orgasm build-up certainly does help.

pet and I shared some pretty hot times this weekend : ) It was really wonderful to be alone with him and just enjoy some time together. We ran a few errands on Saturday, had lunch at our favorite place, and took a little nap. In between all of that we had some hot times, and then later that night we went out for a quick dinner and I practically raped pet when we got back! I could not wait to get his clothes off and get him inside me! Our sex was hot, as per the norm, and there was A LOT of pussy-licking the last few days...I could just not get enough of having pet's face between my legs. We have sort of fallen off of that lately, and I have missed it.

I think we will get back on track now that the move is over, and we are settling into a more positive domestic situation.

I am also in the process of setting my next "play date" with my pet "e." e and I are both looking forward to our next meeting, which should be some time this week, as we are trying to work out logistics now. I, of course, cannot have e to pet's house, and since I no longer have that autonomy of living alone, e will have to procure a hotel room for our use, which he is working on as I type this. We are chatting back and forth today, enjoying turning each other on and getting each other hot : )

I have completed all the domestic chores that I am going to do right now, for today, anyway. I have done some job search related things, and am waiting on some call backs today, hopefully. Sigh, we shall see. I have a few things in the works, but unforutnately nothing has panned out just yet. pet is being wonderfully supportive, financially, and emotionally, so no complaints at all there. I know that my financial situation is stressful for him as well, and I feel rotten about that, but unfortunatley, there really is nothing to be done right now, except for me to keep on trying and try to keep my chin up. Sighhh....

Ok, enough of that, I have A LOT of positive things going on in my life right now, so I will focus on that. pet and I are getting back on track, the kids and I are doing great, we had a great time on Friday with his youngest for her birthday : ) It was alot of fun, I was actually surprised at how much I had at a local amusement park for some Halloween activities. It was really a lot of fun, and I typically don't like that sort of thing at all. I do have some prospects on the job search, which is more than many folks can say right now, so those are good things. We have food in the house, heat and air-conditioning as needed, and family is pretty stable for right now. The house is pretty clean, and I have plans on what to make for dinner, life is good : ) I am busy playing the domestic goddess right now, lol. Shuffing the kids to school so that pet can stay in bed longer, making dinners, cleaning house, doing laundry...all those things a good submissive bitch does. LOL, but I thin we all know better : ) haha

Ok, perhaps I will write more later, but I am a little tired now-

Ta for now-

-D

The Return of Marisa

2011-10-09T19:40:00.000-07:00

Finally! We have had a nice day of concentrated alone time. It started yesterday with a shopping trip. I'm very excited. Domina selected a new outfit for me. My first set of women's clothing. I have a tank top, short skirt, and high heels. The experience was mildly embarrassing. Domina was rather verbal about what items would look cute on me as she held them up against my frame. I didn't notice any raised eyebrows but can't see how all were oblivious. Nonetheless, the experience was well worth it.

I was further embarrassed at getting home. When I was directed to try on my new clothes at home, I was totally hard as I pitched a tent in my new skirt. Domina made me look at myself when I was done. I was shocked and turned on. I didn't recognize my shapley long legs in the heels. My mini skirt showed off my round butt. I didn't know I could look so feminine. I've been allowed to relaxsome of my feminization rules over the summer. I couldn't wait to see what a good leg shaving and painted nails in my sling back, open toe, heels would look like.

Whether it be the clothes or my excitement, I'm embarrassed how well I took to it. It is decidedly non-masculine and I have been craving the submission that the humiliation of emasculation brings. I can't feel fully feminized, but I can't feel masculine like this either. I'm neither. I'm a sissy and I'm struggling with how much I want it. Stripped of manhood behind closed doors, I can't help but feel inferior and obedient. Even more, it makes me long to be cuckolded again. My pulse races at the thoughts.

Status Update

2011-10-06T08:13:00.000-07:00

Ok, so my last post was pretty angry, yes?

Yes, I know it was. Well suffice to say that anthony and I had a very serious, and VERY productive talk the other night. I think we had alot of miscommunication working, and I think we understand each other's perspectives MUCH better now, so I am very, very, happy about that. I am very happy about him being very honest with me about how he is feeling. He actually said something pretty harsh to me, which is not normally his nature, but I was pretty shocked by it, and we obviously needed to examine his feelings more on the matter.

We seem to be doing very well since the talk : ) Yesterday was a really good day for us, very good communication and even a little D/s thrown in. I had a made a date with "e" for lunch today, but that did not work out, he has alot going on at work, and I have alot that I want to get done today as well. So we are working on re-scheduling that for next week.

pet and I made love this morning, and it was very nice : ) Been awhile since we have done the morning thing, as we are always so rushed in the morning, but we had a few moments this morning so we took them : ) Sometimes you have to take the moments when they come!

So today is a good day : ) I am looking forward to seeing pet later and spending some time with him this weekend. His youngest's birthday is tomorrow, and we will be celebrating at our State Fair, a family outing, so that will be nice : )

He has to have a talk with the ex later, so I am sure that he is not looking forward to that, but I am hopeful that it will be quick, and he can extracate himself when needed.

His oldest and I spent alot of time yesterday re-arranging things in the house, putting things away, so that has made me much better and more settled. We still have alot to do to get me all settled in, but we are working on it slowly but surely.

I love my pet, and want to be with him, I want our relationship to work, and I pray that we keep talking and communicating and work through these transitional issues.

I am so very much in love with him-

More later-

D

Transitional Woes or Relationship Woes?

2011-10-04T14:08:00.000-07:00

So....as anthony has posted previously things have been pretty tough these last few weeks... but I do think we come at that from very different perspectives. I thought things would get much better since my move is finally over, and my house is rented, but not so much....

I see the move-in as a merging, lives, household items, etc. anthony seem to find my precense a burden much of the time, and I don't feel respected at all. My temp job ended on Friday, so I am yet again, unemployed, unexpectedly, as I thought the gig was going to last longer than it did, but oh well. That's done now I guess.

We have been trying to work through things, but I am not at all sure that we are suited to live/be together. Sigh. This is not what I expected at all. I love him very much, and the kids, and I am hoping that some of this will pass, but I feel very disrespected right now. No need to get into details, but it very much feels like it is anthony's life, anthony's house, and I am just a toad that stumbled into it. Hardly anything of mine is allowed in the house, and 95% of my stuff is in his attic or stored somewhere else. I understand that it is a small house, but anthony has been pretty rigid about his things staying right where they are. Ok, whatever.

I don't have much say in anything, I just feel very much in "no man's land." And now I am not working, so I can't contribute financially to the household, which really makes me feel like I have no say. I am subject to pop-ins from his parents, unexpected houseguests, and not involved in plans that he makes. This is really, really not what I expected at all. He seems angry that I moved in with him? He does not like that we don't have any time alone together, but then sabotages the time alone we could have together? I am confused and do not understand, at all.

And yeah, I am supposed to be dominant, right? Yeah, that's not really working out for us too good right now. We both know we need more time together, alone time, and then anthony goes and takes a few days off work, finally, and makes plans with his best friend. Um, huh? No discussion, no conversation, just, "this is what I am doing this week," Um, ok. So glad we are in this great partnership that I have wanted all my life.

I am not saying anything here that I have not said to him myself, so no big surprises for anthony.

I am very, very, angry, and have nowhere to go to be alone and deal with my anger anymore, which is messing me up as well. Last week was such a rotten week, job ended, tenant issues, cell phone problems, finishing the move, cleaning the house, just a general nightmare. I have to given anthony credit, he did help me with all of it, but it seems like such a struggle for him. I mean, I understand, I don't want to do this stuff either, but this is the stuff of life, the stuff that has to get done, right? And now he has taken time off work and made other plans.

I know that he does not get to see his friend too often, he lives about 2 hours away, but we just spent our "alone" weekend, with him two weeks ago? And no discussion with me, no conversation? We both have agreed that we need more time alone together, more time to be in our D/s roles, and I thought when he told me last night that he was taking time off for a "mini-vacation" he meant it to be with me. But nope, not so much. I am hurt, and angry, and now of course if I ask him not to keep his plans then I am the big bitch who never lets him see his friend....and I won't have his friend think that way of me, because it is just not true.

All that we have been through in the last few months/years, fighting to be able to live together, going to court with his oldest, job stress, money stress, etc. I am a little floored by his behavior really.

Oh well, that's about all I have to say about that. I would say that these are transitional issues, but they seem more like relationship issues to me. So there you go.

Sigh.

Later-

D

Moving Stress and Punishing Ideas

2011-09-29T15:07:00.001-07:00

Today is a big day. Domina is fully moved in with me and she hands the keys over to her house over to her renter. Stress abounds! Our differences in personality are certainly showing through. I like a little time each day to be reclusive, go to the gym, and have my private time. Now that we are a family, it’s taking a need to adjust and balance. Domina needs time to talk and socialize. If this was it, we would be ok. But I’m stressed with work and money, she is stressed with work and money, and she needs a little more support as she is encountering the most transition. To make it all worse, there always seems to be a child up our crack with family drama as the kids always want to spend time with us. Sex has diminished, if for no other reason, exhaustion.

Last night saw one of the last nerves plucked. Domina and I finished emptying out her house and were blessed with the chance to have dinner alone. We were getting pretty hot and bothered and it looked like an evening well deserved frolic was ahead. When we got home, we took a few moments to unwind. I had been playing a video game after work. She encouraged me to finish up my game and I said I would be along shortly. Well, that’s when all hell broke lose. My daughter craves time with Domina. She honed in on the opportunity and that was all she wrote. Not wanting to interrupt them I played my game longer. I checked on them, still talking, and let them talk more. Little did I know their talk turned into confrontational teenage angst. Our intimate time was hosed and Domina vented about my poor qualities as a submissive.

On one note, I’m grateful. Part of the trouble with my daughter had Domina defending my decisions and actions but the kid didn’t want to hear the truth. She took some arrows for the team. While I do everything that I’m supposed to do, I admit I’m not as timely as I ought to be on several things and Domina has expressed how she has needed me to be extra attentive in this time. I think we’ve both felt overwhelmed and under appreciated.

Adding to the trouble, we’ve not much been in our D/s roles. This is mostly my fault I would surmise. I’ve always said I think being dominant is harder. It takes more thought and creativity. But being submissive has its riggers as well. The dominant has more flexibility to not be dominant when they don’t feel like it. I think there is much more assumption that the submissive doesn’t have the luxury of not being submissive. Silly as it is, I have an example. Last week Domina instructed me to wear the pink bow around my cock and take picture of it hard to send her at odd hours of the day. The object of the exercise was to get us horny and feeling the usual spark of sexuality that we have. But we had a difficult morning, and by the time got underway, I knew the last think Domina cared to see was my penis. As she pointed out later, I was right. She didn’t want to see my penis, but she didn’t like that I read her emotions and didn’t send the pictures. Even if we have a fight, she wants to see my obedience humiliating it might be.

This brings us back to last night. Our evening was pretty well hosed as I said before. Domina wanted to know where the man that wants to be her sissy slut maid went. I felt so less than submissive at that moment, I didn’t know. It’s been weeks since I felt that urge. Attempting to be productive, Domina asked if I wanted/needed to be punished on the regular. It wasn’t exactly the best time to ask me that, but I’ve been chewing on it this afternoon. We’ve tried before long ago, but it breaks down if it becomes a chore for Domina to perform. Unless she would enjoy punishing me and using negative reinforcement to modify me than it takes energy away from us. On the flip side, I have not always taken punishment well when I think it’s unjust. For it to work, I would have to be more accepting and she would have to do it with the expectation of enjoyment on her end.

Then there are logistics. How does one spank and paddle a man and keep it quiet in a small house with teenagers about? For once, it might be refreshing if she broke me down, utter humiliated me, and made me cry. But my response to pain is anger. It’s my coping mechanism.

I thought I could build a table/horse to keep in the shed. It could have eyebolts in the legs so to restrain my hands and feet. One end could be higher than the other so that when I lay on it my ass would be further exposed and vulnerable. We would walk out to the shed. I would undress while she locked the door behind us. Then she could punish me and tell me, however minor, how she would like to modify my behavior. Sounds reasonable? Yes, but then the neighbors would hear. Siggghhhhh That takes us back to holding difficult positions, standing in the corner, or sleeping in the cage.

I’m sure there are many D/s couples out there that have kids and limited privacy. Help! What do you do?

Catching Up - An Overdue Post

2011-09-27T15:03:00.000-07:00

For those of you that have been eagerly awaiting the next installment of the cuckolding saga, we apologize. Yes we have taken a good month to get back to what happened. There have been many things going on since that time. Domina has been moving in with me which has kept us busy for a lot of our free time. Toss in there a hurricane in which Domina was without power for over a week, and here we are! Personally, I have limited sympathy. If have to wait months at a time to have an orgasm, you can be patient when posting time is tight! :-P

The one reader I do have sympathy for is our anonymous friend that left us some very kind words on Domins’a last post. We share your excitement and in moment I will answer your question as to how my emotions are since we have advanced our relation to the level of cuckold and cuckoldress. We very much encourage people to share in our experiences by posting your comments and questions. If you would feel more at ease, we also invite you to e-mail us at dominastar@yahoo.com

I remember when exploring information on D/s relationships I was on some conversation threads over at She Makes the Rules. I met a guy who was a cuckold and maintained a blog over his experiences. He was having a tough time. His wife was so infatuated with the bull that they were going out on shopping excursions and luncheons that had been historically his time. It wasn’t the physical freedom of his wife that troubled him, it was when he felt he was being emotionally replaced. I told the guy he needed to buck up, submissive or not, and take some control. I felt she would certainly respect him if he had a barrier that was not to be crossed. To make a long story short, last I remember they had worked it out and were happy. But at the time, I couldn’t fathom wanting to be in the position of a cuckold. To many of you reading this, I rather guess you can’t either even if it sounds exciting.

The days leading up to the actual event of Domina acting out her sexual liberties were amazingly exciting. The sexual energy between us was through the roof. Domina had that excitement that only comes from having a first date. Her emotions had me reminiscing and reliving the same feelings as when Domina and I first met. Making love to me she was as wet as she has ever been and had the elusive vaginal orgasms. When she left me in the morning on her way to meet ‘e’, she left me naked, rock hard, unsatisfied and heart pumping.

Domina was quite clear with me. Her encounter wasn’t strictly going to be D/s. She was going to have sex and the other guy was going to enjoy the luxury of an orgasm. He might cum inside her, he might cum on her, he might just jerk off at her feet, but any which way it happened it was communicated that he is to receive sexual gratification in their encounters. I was reminded of my vows of chastity. We were kissing in a love embrace when I reassured her that she owns my penis and that I would not satisfy myself in secret.

Upon seeing her later in the day we made love again over lunch. Not just because it was the hot thing to do, but to make sure our connection was still as strong as ever. It was almost surreal making love that first time as a cuckold. I was allowed to enter her and the realization came to me that another man’s penis had been there not hours before. We shared a meal and she recounted her adventures with me. She shared all the intimate details without hesitation or remorse with me as if I was her oldest friend. She openly compared me to e physically and submissively. I had spent the morning sitting at my desk with an erection thinking of her. I asked Domina if in her play time she thought of me as well. I honestly expected her to say ‘yes’, but she said ‘no’. Equally surprising to me, I got hard at her answer knowing how much fun she had guilt free of our relationship. I felt overwhelmed in submission.

I’m not going to ruin part two of Domina’s story. Suffice it to say for now that the transition to being a cuckold couple was relatively seamless. Domina had a little emotion the next day as is typical when we expand our limits, but the real shock of it all is how easily we fell into our new roles. I wouldn’t advise it as a way to bring most couples together, but for us it did. I find Domina even more sexually powerful and attractive knowing how much she enjoys her sexual freedom. That she can be physically intimate with someone else and still maintain the highest level of love and desire for me is mind blowing. I think she is equally impressed with my love and devotion. I think she enjoys the security of knowing that she can walk out the door to have sex elsewhere, leaving me with a raging hard on, and I will remain faithful.

The Big Move

2011-09-08T15:40:00.001-07:00

*NOTE: Post written at a previous date and not published until now*

Well, I don't have much time to post today, but I wanted to give all a little update on what is going on with us.

I am moving in with a and the kids : ) Or rather, I have already moved in. I would say about 75% percent of my stuff is at a's house, or rather, up in his attic : )

It started about 2 weeks ago with the hurricane, I packed up myself and my dogs and went over to a's to wait the hurricane out. My house of course lost power, so it just made sense for me to stay with a. We have been discussing moving in together for awhile, and it just seemed to kind of fall in line right now. I am struggling to pay my mortgage from being out of work for about 4 months now. I have a temp job but it really pays hardly anything at all. So...we decided to rent my place, and have me move in with a and the kids.

So far, so good, we have a few tense moments in the few first days. I have ALOT of stuff, and it has been a long time since a has shared space with anyone, so that led to a few tense moments. But things are MUCH better now, and we are enjoying spending our time together!! : )

The kids also seem very happy about the move in, so that is wonderful! : )

Soooooo...we are very busy right now. I am cleaning out my house and finalizing the move in a a's, the goal is for me to rent my place by 10/1. I am interviewing renters, in fact, I am waiting on a potential renter right now, as I post. I still have Internet service at my house, since a does not have it, and will transfer my service over there. I am still on the job search and have some good prospects of late, so hopefully something will come through very soon. a and I will be much more comfortable financially after the move in/rent out/full time gig for me is complete.

a has been very supportive of late, really amazing, I love him SO much!! : ) And the kids have been great too!

Life is good right now, no complaints, I am just hoping that things go smoothly with the rental and the completion of the move, I am very ready to live with a and the kids full-time!! : )

I call his place "home" now, and the kids call is my home as well, which is really great : )

Two Men-One Day-So Little Time-Part 1

2011-08-14T14:11:00.000-07:00

Ah, here we are to the good stuff.

So, it is Friday morning, and thus my encounter with e looms forward.

I spent Thursday evening with pet. We had some fantastic love-making and with my cuckold efforts on the horizon, literally, the next morning, pet and I were in a frenzy and desperate for each other. For the last few days pet and I have been discussing how hot the cuckolding would be! Hot for his submission, hot for my dominance, just hot all the way around!

As we made love that night, and we were both drowning in my juices, honestly, it was like someone poured a warm liquid between us, it was everywhere! But soooo hot as pet stroked in and out of me and we whispered to each other about what kind of things e and I would do the next day, and how pet was now my cuckolded man bitch in earnest.. The lovemaking was some of the best we ever had, pet's stamina was amazing, and I could tell he was really struggling to obey me and not cum...he has been in such a tissy at the idea of cuckolding, and now that it was really here he was out of his mind with desire for me and on a submissive high.

Sooo...we made love Thursday night, passed out in each other's arms and then it was Friday morning, woop woop!

I got up early from pet's to shower and dress at home, my body still smelling from our lovemaking the night before, I drove home with the radio loud, singing at the top of my lungs, and smiling! : ) I was SO ready, and so excited, but nervous too.

Got home, set the dogs up outside, as I did not want them underfoot and in the way during our encounter. Showered, dressed, and waited for e to arrive. Eek!!

Right on time he was, and as instructed, he brought all of his toys with him. I must say, he had some pretty exciting and hot stuff. Body harness, collar, latex chaps, dildos, a very hot sensory-deprivation hood, and a variety of other things. Very hot! Unfortunately, e has a bit of a physical issue right now, and I was VERY hesitant to use most of these gadgets on him due to his limited physical capability right now. I also wanted to make certain that he could communicate with me during our entire encounter, thus my hesitance to use his fantastic hood! But that is one hot hood!

His issues will be healed in a few months and he will have more mobility and capability at that time, but for this time, and our first encounter, I erred to the side of safety and caution. We had a good talk about it, and he seemed to understand. We established his safe word, and I explained how I would not be tying him up because of his physical issues, again, he seemed to understand, but seemed a bit disappointed : ( Oh well, nothing to be done, I will not risk someone's safety, or damaging them for the sake of a good time...nope, that's not who I am.

Anyway, with our parameters established, we began. I laid on the bed and waited for e to undress, I had selected his collar and body harness from his treasure trove of toys. I had also laid out all of my toys, dildos, whips, crops, lube, and a variety of vibrating fun things : ) Wahoo!

e undressed before me, and his body is quite nice. He is very athletic and taut, slim but very muscular, his chest is very hairy. Eventually he stood before me in nothing but his collar and leather thong, he was wearing his cock ring as he had been instructed. Good pet, good start : )

I circled him slowly, taking in his scent, running my hands all over his body. Reaching into his thong and stroking his cock, eventually pulling the thong down and off, as it was in my way. He was already hard from either being naked before me, or my touch, either way, good stuff : )

I had him put his body harness on, I found that item very interesting, as it was a full body harness, complete with a cock ring and strap that ran up his ass and buckled. The harness on e was very hot, and I could feel myself getting excited. I was still fully dressed, black leggings, black sleeveless top, and high black shoes. I could feel myself getting wet while I was circling e and especially after he had his harness on.

I bent him over the edge of the bed, and instructed him to unbuckled the harness so that I could inspect his ass. It was very clean and pristine, which made me very happy, and I noticed that his cock and balls were nicely landscaped as well. I am not really interested in pubic hair, so that was very nice to see : )

I proceeded to lube him up and stick my finger inside him. Very nice indeed. His ass took my finger very well so I moved on to a butt plug that I particularly enjoy using on pet. Low and behold e took that well too while I fucked him with it and he was bent over the bed, so I moved on to a purple dildo that I particularly like as well. I fucked him with that awhile, with him bent over the bed, face in the mattress.

Then I decided to have a little of my type of fun : ) I picked up a leather crop with a little feather on the tail that pet HATES me to whip him with, and got started on e's ass. I LOVED seeing the whip marks on his ass! e had asked me to be careful about marks, and unfortunately I got a little carried away in this effort....whoops : ( My bad. It was just so HOT!

I whipped e and in between I smacked both cheeks of his ass with my hands! It was so hot, and I could feel myself getting wetter while I whipped him, my juices were dripping into the thong I was wearing underneath my leggings! A thong and legging are not protection against the river I had working in my pants!

e made little noises as I asked him if he liked it, and there was the periodic "Yes Ma'am" he was very well behaved, and did everything I asked him to do in a timely fashion. He seemed to take the beating very well, and had no complaints. He did not attempt to stop me and never used his safe word.

I instructed him to beat on his cock as I beat him. Hot!

After a time, and when I thought he had had enough of the beating for awhile, I flipped him over and fucked him again with the dildo, with his knees high up in the air. I enjoy this very much with pet as well and I have a small chair at my vanity that I use to pull myself up close to the asshole when I fuck pet with a dildo. This puts right on eye-level with the help and gives me full access to insert all sorts of fun things in the hole!

Again, I instructed e to beat his cock while I fucked him. After a bit, I tired of that and his cock looked very tasty. It is smaller than pet's, but girthy, and very attractive. So......I decided to suck it. e and I had not really discussed this but from his reaction I could see that it was OK! I sucked on him for awhile and I could tell that he was very much enjoying himself. By the way, for those of you concerned about our health and the spread of disease, e, pet, and I have all been very recently tested for any disease, and we are all clean. It was a requirement for all of us before entering into this type of relationship.

Moving on, I sucked on e for awhile and then decided it was time for me to get naked. I sat him up; and told him to remain where he was. Now honestly, I am very self-conscious about my body, and realized at that moment that it had been years since I had been nude in front of anyone except pet! Oh my, I had a moment of panic, but realized that I was knee-deep in the moment now and needed to push through. So I told e to remain exactly where he was and I slipped out of my clothes and under the sheets of my bed. I then beckoned him to me and pushed his head into my breasts.

My breasts are quite large, and I enjoyed e licking them, kissing them and caressing them. He did a nice job, and I was getting more and more turned on. Soon, I asked him if wanted to taste me and I was rewarded with a furtive "Yes, Ma'am." I pushed his head down towards my cunt, and e set about licking my pussy with much verve and vigor! e is quite talented in the land of oral and and I was drenched in pussy juice! I was a little self-conscious about this as well, but he did not seem to mind, and I very much enjoyed myself while he licked, sucked, and kissed my pussy! : )

Pretty soon I wanted his cock inside me and called him up to fuck me, we started out in the missionary position. e was full of energy to fuck me! Banging my pussy, and giving me the full length of his shaft! I was soaking wet..just dripping...it was a little ridiculous! : )

After a time of that, I realized that what I really wanted is for him to go down on me again, so we disengaged and rested for a bit. I played with his cock and squeezed and pinches his nipples, which he seemed to quite enjoy : ) I had placed clothespin on his nipples earlier, and he took this very well. I was a little surprised, as pet seems to have a real issue with the clothespins, e took them like a champ! : )

I decided I wanted to taste him again, and sucked his cock some more, it was interesting tasting me on a another man besides pet, not bad, actually it was pretty hot! With a little kissing and biting of his nipples thrown in there, I have to say, that sucking his cock was quite the enjoyable experience for me, and his response to it just got me and more and turned on! Eventually I told him that I wanted to cum, and loved the response "How would you like to do that Ma'am?" Hot, hot, hot. I told him that he should go down on me again, and he did, with gusto! : )

e buried his face in my cunt, his face had to have been covered in my juices while he licked and sucked me until I came, loud and hard! : ) he came back up to my face and his was very shiny with me all over it! Hot, hot, hot!

I asked him if he wanted to cum, and told him that I wanted to see him beat himself off. This was really very exciting for me, and e beat at his cock, using two hands some times. It was not long before he was cumming, his cum was very white and there seem to be ton of it! Periodically, throughout our session, I had fed him his pre-cum from his drippy cock off my fingertips. I decided not to feed him his cum, not sure why, but I was very kind, and wiped his cum up from his stomach with a towel I had beside the bed.

We rested for a bit and finally he asked if he could go to the restroom. I gave him permission, got up myself, and threw some clothes on. I poured myself some coffee, took the toys to the sink to wash, and waited for him to return. Upon his return, he asked if he could remove his harness and collar and I gave him that permission.

We made small talk as he dressed, and I offered him some bottled water, which he gratefully accepted. We discussed what was going on with the rest of our days, and he knew that I was having lunch with pet. He had a busy day at his office, as all of his managers had the day off. It was very pleasant, him dressing, me standing there with my cup of coffee. Very casual and comfortable I thought : )

He gathered up his toys and packed them up, and we hugged a few times, with a light kiss on the lips for the final send off. I walked him outside and we made some small talk about cars : ) I really do enjoy him as a person, and I feel lucky to have shared this experience with him, and it was HOT! As far as I was concerned!

More to cum later-

-D

Let's Start with Lunch

2011-08-14T13:33:00.000-07:00

So, so, much to tell, where to begin!

Well, let's first start with this past Tuesday, when I had lunch with my friend e.

We had agreed to meet at a lovely family-owned restaurant; e and I both despise chains, and both agree that we should support local businesses. Off to a good start!

I must admit, I was a little nervous/anxious, and dressed with care. While I was not quite sure where our lunch was going, I certainly did want e to find me attractive and desirable, isn't that what most women want? Domme or not?

Anyway, pet was very supportive the whole day, sending me little messages of encouragement, telling me what I should do so that e would find me attractive, etc. It was very sweet and supportive, I had not been out on a date with someone new in almost 4 years, I am rusty! pet was wonderful, telling me he loved me, wishing me a lovely date, telling me how much he wanted me, how hot I was, very, very supportive! : )

So...I dressed with care, hair, make-up and outfit in check....off to meet e.

We arrived at the restaurant very close to the same time. He looked very much as I remembered him. Attractive, well-dressed, happy to see me, we hugged, and I performed the parking lot panty check, he had to help me a little as his pants were fitted in the waist..but we managed it, and went in to have lunch.

Lunch was lovely, good small talk about kids, houses, jobs, etc. The usual thing, a little D/s talk about people we had met, our recent experiences, nothing heavy. It was great to see him again and we had a very nice lunch and chat.

e paid for lunch, and off back to our cars we went with his hand on the small of my back, walking me out, I must say, that I found this very exciting, it was a very caring touch, and very nice : ) I asked e where my "show of appreciation" was. I had instructed him to bring me a small token of appreciation for my time, and he did. Although I did not give him much time to pick something out, he came up with something lovely. Notecards with my initial on them; very thoughtful. I don't require that it be something expensive, but it is important to me that it is something thoughtful : ) e did a wonderful job : )

We exchanged the standard pleasantries "good to see you," etc. e told me that I looked lovely, and I appreciated that. A big hug and off we went.

Honestly, I was not really sure where that left us, but we had a really nice time, so ok, works for me. When I got back home, I dropped him an IM and told him what a nice time I had, he reciprocated, and we agreed to chat when he was done driving.

And chat we did, we established that we both wanted to see each other again in a physical/sexual arena. Very exciting! We discussed the parameters of our next encounter, established the rules and boundaries, and what we would like to happen. We made arrangements to meet at my house on Friday morning. Here is where the whole unemployment thing comes in handy...lol.

At the same time, I was chatting with pet, relaying the terms and conditions of e and my's arrangement and encounter to come (no pun intended.)

I could tell that pet and e were both getting very excited, and I have to say, I had quite the enjoyable afternoon chatting with both pets, laying down the law to e, so to speak, on what he was allowed, and not allowed to do until our encounter, no touching his penis without permission, no cumming, etc. Meanwhile, pet was feeling ever and ever more the cuckold and was dizzy with the excitement of me dominating another man.

e and I signed off saying that we would see each other on Friday : ) pet and I spoke often of the encounter over the next several days...

Please look for additional posts on this matter-

-D

Domina Scores the Vaginal O

2011-08-14T13:29:00.000-07:00

Well it looks like its going to happen! Domina had her lunch date with her new perspective sub and it went well. The time for her luncheon came and I told her I loved her and I wished her to have a wonderful date. It was about two hours before I heard from her again. One hour makes sense for lunch, but after two hours I realized I was pretty anxious. I didn’t think anything would happen physically but the mind starts to create scenarios after a while. I tried to keep busy at work and listened to some talk radio at my desk, but my cock had become raging hard and impossible to ignore.

To make a long story short, as this is really Domina’s to tell you about, we were IM chatting a little later in the afternoon to reconnect. At first it sounded like it was lovely date and that was going to be about it. Then Domina tells me she is IMing with ‘e’ as well and they have agreed that they want to see each other again and that they would like it to be sexual. She was discussing the terms of his submission and told me she would inform me of those parameters after they had been fully negotiated. From that moment on I’ve been on a submissive high. Their next date is scheduled for Friday morning at which time I will most likely be officially christened a cuckold.

The night after her luncheon we made plans to be together. We needed to make sure we were both lock step together on this. A few months back we discussed it length that it was within the parameters of our relationship that she could begin having sexual relations with other men and that I agreed I would no longer have any rights to object. (though naturally I’m allowed to voice my feelings as I know Domina would never do anything to jeopardize our relationship) I also vowed my acceptance that there would never be any quid pro quos as she would never tolerate me touching another woman. However, this conversation was as I said a few months back and things suddenly had the element of reality. The cuckold/multi sub concepts had suddenly become tangible and it was neede that we spend some intimate time together.

So that night we discussed event and eventually made passionate love. I can’t remember the last time I had an orgasm, and so as you can imagine I could have realistically been hard almost the entire day anyway. After a lot of touching and petting I was finally allowed to enter her. From the word go I was trying to be careful not to accidently cum. Domina was dripping wet she was so hot and bothered. She asked me why I was so excited about the fact that I would soon be her cuckold. Yes, it’s true that it’s about as deep an act of submission as can be which makes us happy. But suddenly I realized something that is so thrilling. Some of the most exciting and earth quaking sex we ever had was when we first started dating. Everything was unknown, fresh and new. I know we can’t quite ever recreate that beautiful time, but this is very similar. Domina is experiencing that first date excitement and suddenly it’s like we can both feel like we did when we first made love.

I don’t expect you all to understand it. A year or so ago I wouldn’t have understood it either and thought I would never consent to such a lifestyle. But doubt me not! As our long term readers know Domina has great difficulty having vaginal orgasms. I’ve only known her to have 2 that didn’t need the clitoral assist in the many years we have been together. The first one happened that very first time we made love. I was hubris at the time, confident in myself, that it was just business as usual for me. But the second time has waited all the way until this past week when she is upon the precipice of having another lover.

Domina tells me often how I’m the best lover she’s ever had. But the truth is I know I’m not as good a lover as we were when we started out. It’s not deteriorating skill or lack of desire on my behalf. It’s simply that I hardly ever am allowed to cum. Further, as much as Domina loves some penis, over 99% of her orgasms don’t require it. I can’t take her with animalistic reckless abandon because I will lose control. Intercourse with me is more sweet and steady now. Sometimes we have to make love for 10 or 15 minutes before I can build up enough resistance to the urge of cumming. What I typically can’t do now is the all out, hard as you can, bang. I've had to sacrifice that one arrow from my quiver. I wouldn’t last 2 seconds. And even though I don’t think it’s what Domina typically wants, I think every woman, including her, needs that sometimes.

As we made sweet love, she bucked me like a horse. She wanted deeper harder faster. She confided in me how I wasn’t able to always make love to her how she wanted but she can’t allow me to cum. Basically the behavioral benefits of denial are far greater than the on demand all out bang. Telling me about my inadequacies and her ability to get more dick only seemed to fuel her dominance as her wetness continued to rush from her loins. Still, I knew my cock had to feel good. I was engorged 110% and after making love for a long time my thrusts gained strength and power. Full long trusts with my entire penis which felt as if it had even more girth and length than usual. I filled her like a balloon. She came hard and told me how she climaxed vaginally.

We fell asleep exhausted. When the sun came up I was still fully erect and dripping. I caressed her body at length. I wanted to make love to her again so badly. She wrapped her fingers around my shaft and gently squeezed me. The pleasure of this was enough to make me collapse against her. “We need to start milking you occasionally” was all she said. The days since have been filled with messages going back and forth of how much we love one another as Friday morning looms on the horizon.

-a

D's Got a Date and Other Matters

2011-08-08T14:38:00.001-07:00

And I'm a little nervous! : )

I am meeting my long time friend, e. e is one of the very first people I met in the "lifestyle" about 6 or 7 years ago when I first started looking into D/s. He was wonderfully patient and supportive with me, and has been since we met. We have chatted off and on over the last few years. I met e when he was a Dom and I "thought" I was a submissive, haha. He really helped me figure out I was Domme, and has been nothing but supportive. e now feels that he is more submissive then Dom and looking to fulfill some of his desires in the submissive world. I am getting wet as I type this.....wow.

So we are having lunch on Wednesday, and I am not sure what this is the beginning of, but right now it is just two friends having lunch. Well, one friend has told the other friend to wear pink panties to lunch, and that I will be checking for the panties in the parking lot before or after lunch; so I am not sure that it is really just two friends having lunch, but we will see how things go....haha.

As I recall (and from shared photos) e is pretty hot! Hotter than I am, for sure, maybe not as hot as my pet, but definitely HOT! So that is exciting : ) Wonder what I will wear? hmmmm.....pet is aware of my date and fully supports it. In fact, when I told him that I was meeting e for lunch and e had been instructed to wear pink panties, which I would be checking on, his reply was "that's so hot." So....I think pet is ok with my date : ) We discussed it some more and made sure that this was what we both wanted, and it is. pet desires to be cuckolded, and I need some cock. Alot of cock as a matter, and I am just not getting enough. pet will tell you that that it is the truth, so I am not hiding anything there from anyone.

pet and I are also having dinner tomorrow night with our long-time friends W and j. W and j are getting ready to leave the country for several years, so we are looking forward to seeing them both before they go : ( We are sad that they are leaving but understand that this is an amazing opportunity for them both and support them 100%. We will miss them though!! : (

Ok, so on to other matters:

I am still on the job hunt, I have had some good interviews, and have some more scheduled for this week, so hopefully something will pop for me soon. Things are getting pretty tight financially, and I am just ready to go back to work. Truly.

Things have been pretty stressful for pet with his family. I feel rotten for him, and neither of us are really getting what we need right now, unfortunately. pet has been depressed for a little while, just not feeling his happy self, and I totally understand it, he is fully entitled. Unfortunately, I don't know what to do for him; how to help him, and he has not been feeling submissive. Meanwhile, I have not been feeling very dominant, due to my job situation, and other reasons, so we just have not been doing too great lately. For some reason we have just been off for a bit, but today things seems to be picking back up in a more positive direction : ) pet seems to respond very well when I talk about cuckolding him, and fucking other men. It seems to bring his submission to a whole different level. he says that he feels submissive today for the first time in many days. So that is good : )

I have also been doing some whining about not getting enough romance. Not wanting to be D/s and wanting more vanilla romance. Oh well, that kind of went out the window today, today all I want to do is dirty things to everyone! haha. Dirty things to pet, dirty things to e. I am VERY horny today, and it has been awhile since pet and I made love so I am really missing my cock. Really bad.

Oh well, maybe I will get some dick on Wednesday, that would be good, and different dick at that. We will see how things go : )

Anyway, things have just been a little rough for pet and I the last few weeks. His family issues, my lack of job stress, I am still not really sure what is going on with pet, I know he is a little depressed, but something still does not seem right there....sigh. Oh well, he said he felt submissive today, so that is a good sign.

We were supposed to have a date tonight, but pet is not feeling well, he has a headache and just feels crappy he says, I saw him at lunch and he did look like he was in pain, poor thing : ( So, maybe no date tonight. Oh well.

Other things are pretty good, pet and I continue to have a great relationship with his kids, and we are getting closer all the time : ) We have started talking about moving in together, and hopefully that will be able to happen sometime in late Fall or early Winter. We shall see. I need a job first, then we can figure what kind of place we can rent, or if at all possible, that we can buy. We will just have to see how it all shakes out. Alot of that depends on what kind of job I get and how much I am making, so no pressure there.....sigh.

My fam is pretty stable right now, my brother-in-law's cancer is at bay for the time being and he is responding well to the chemo, but we will see how that is going. But my peeps all seem to be holding up ok, so that is good.

I am teaching pet's oldest to cook while I am home, so that has been really enjoyable for both of us, and some very nice time together : )

I guess that's it for now-have a great week all!

-D

How to Fuck Your Man-Bitch 101

2011-08-06T08:51:00.000-07:00

1. Have your man-bitch get naked, preferably wearing only his collar.

2. Rip his ass cheeks apart, inspect him for cleanliness and tidiness of man-scaping.

3. If his ass meets your approval, lube it up with any kind of lube that you have handy.

4. Violate his ass with any dildo, butt plug, etc., that you have handy. Do this repeatedly unless he moans with pleasure (or pain) and until your cock his rock-solid hard, if you do it right it will be in short order : ) Ignore your man-bitchs' face, preferably put him on his stomach and violate him without looking at him, this adds to the humiliation, my man-bitch loves this : )

5. When the cock gets rock hard, lube it up as well, fuck your man-bitch as you stroke the cock. Use your knee, elbow, thigh, hand, whatever you can to fuck him while you beat him off.

6. DO NOT let him cum, that defeats the purpose of fucking your man-bitch and making him all yours.

7. At some point it is a good idea to leave the dildo in his ass, roll him over, and sit on his face, or stroke yourself and feed him your juices from your fingers.

8. Have your man-bitch make you cum, by this point you should hot, hot, hot!

9. CUM long and hard, while your man-bitch watches and suffers with his big, fat, erection that seemingly has no purpose.

10. Take a little nap while your man-bitch remains hard and suffering.

11. Repeat.

Have a GREAT Saturday!! : )

-D

This Morning's Picture of D's Cock

2011-07-26T06:47:00.000-07:00

I will write more later on this subject, but for now, marisa pet was instructed to tie a pink bow around my cock for the day, and demonstrate that the cock belongs to me. Please see attached, and enjoy!

Happy Tuesday Everyone!! : )

-D

Weekend in Review

2011-07-25T13:51:00.000-07:00

So Sunday nights are often date nights for us. I had both the kids at my house. After taking my youngest to the movies, I gave myself a little cushion to get to Domina’s house. She was quite clear that date night was going to be preempted by freaky D/s intimacy and boisterous love making. I could tell she wasn’t thrilled with my scheduled 9:00 time but I’ve been learning to under promise and over deliver. Nonetheless I knew we would be in heaven once our evening started. Well 8:15 was upon me and my younger daughter asked if she could stay another night. Her mother’s a/c is out in this heat wave so I couldn’t blame her. I told her that I would be out on a date, but it was ok with me if her mom was ok with it. That was strike two. It really didn’t make a difference to our plans, but it had an air of obtrusiveness about it because it wasn’t that long ago that my youngest daughter wasn’t mature enough to be left home alone for a whole night. So while it seemed depressing to Domina, it was good to me because I thought it meant I picked up time getting out the door. That’s when strike three hit. My oldest called from the road. Her friend’s car busted a tire. There was no spare and the kid’s mother was unavailable and did nothing but provide the AAA number. So off I went, not on date night, but to pick up the stranded teenagers. That was the straw that broke the camel’s back. Domina and I called the evening off and both felt rotten. As Domina says, it’s icky to have a D/s quickie. There needs to be loving closeness that goes along hand and hand with intimacy with us.

Domina: I’m also getting foul from lack of penis. This always seems to happen after I let you cum, being with me, alone time, date time, does not seem to be a priority.

This brought me down. As Domina stated earlier, it’s been a hard hard week. We’ve had issues with the kid who is tapping our energy as we have to give her some tough love on some issues. Somehow when the kid acts up it causes strife for us as wrong as that is! My brother flirts with going back to jail as he is coming to grips with his childhood. He can’t contain the anger at his upbringing as he is on a course of self destruction and finds himself dependent on my parents that he has helped drive into bankruptcy. I know it sounds like Jerry Springer stuff and I can’t believe how my family descends into trailer trash, but it’s a violent atmosphere and hard to witness my loved ones falling apart. Anyway, you are asking what this has to do with D/s night. Well, it does a lot. I know that non-submissives use sexual release as a stress reliever. Before I was Domina’s, I would get myself off in tough times as I deemed fit.

Before this week of hell hit, Domina let me cum last weekend. If it makes sense to any of you out there, without the pent up sexual energy I’ve basically flat lined through the week. I attribute it to family stress. Domina attributes it to my having an orgasm. In actuality, I think it’s both things working in concert causing a multiplicative effect. But the fact remains our relationship is working well when I’m the sexually frustrated partner and not so well when she is the sexually frustrated one.

Pet: I love you. I do believe that I’m more susceptible to the depressive effects of life when I cum. I’m sorry for that. Rough week. I have withdrawn some and didn’t realize it.

Domina: I love you too. Agreed, it’s been a rough week on both of us. I like you to acknowledge that it has been hard on me too.

Truth be told Domina has been wonderful trying to help ease my burdens while she has enough stressors going on with her own life as well. Smoothing the roughed feathers from earlier in the night and discussing living together we started being our normal selves and invariably getting hot for each other again.

Domina: Is my cock hard?

Pet: Yes Ma’am. How could you tell?

Domina: Was kind of obvious

frustrated partner and not so well when she is the sexually frustrated one.

Pet: I love you. I do believe that I’m more susceptible to the depressive effects of life when I cum. I’m sorry for that. Rough week. I have withdrawn some and didn’t realize it.

Domina: I love you too. Agreed, it’s been a rough week on both of us. I like you to acknowledge that it has been hard on me too.

Truth be told Domina has been wonderful trying to help ease my burdens while she has enough stressors going on with her own life as well. Smoothing the roughed feathers from earlier in the night and discussing living together we started being our normal selves and invariably getting hot for each other again.

Domina: Is my cock hard?

Pet: Yes Ma’am. How could you tell?

Domina: Was kind of obvious

frustrated partner and not so well when she is the sexually frustrated one.

Pet: I love you. I do believe that I’m more susceptible to the depressive effects of life when I cum. I’m sorry for that. Rough week. I have withdrawn some and didn’t realize it.

Domina: I love you too. Agreed, it’s been a rough week on both of us. I like you to acknowledge that it has been hard on me too.

Truth be told Domina has been wonderful trying to help ease my burdens while she has enough stressors going on with her own life as well. Smoothing the roughed feathers from earlier in the night and discussing living together we started being our normal selves and invariably getting hot for each other again.

Domina: Is my cock hard?

Pet: Yes Ma’am. How could you tell?

Domina: Was kind of obvious

At this point I was feeling very close again but was still bothered by the thought that Domina was unhappy with my behavior because I had an orgasm. I could only think of one thing that might help stem that in the future.

Pet: Perhaps we can schedule a time where you might help me practice milking myself?

Domina: We can when we find the time. But since you just came we will be waiting a few weeks.

Pet: Cumming seems to cause problems. I think I can learn to do with less with your help.

Domina: Yes. Agreed. Maybe just twice a year. Christmas and Father’s day. Also I may need to take on another cock. I need more cock than you can provide at this time. It is becoming intolerable.

That did me in. Be careful what you ask for is all I can say. My brain went numb at the thought of learning to orgasm just twice a year as I know she is honestly contemplating the action. And on top of it all, she displayed a renewed interest in cuckoldry which we have not actively pursued in over a month. While the flight instinct in me can’t fathom living under such strict measures, my penis was throbbing hard in a conflicting but far superior primal urge. I love her so much. I need to be this submissive to her. The world is a better place when I am.

-a

D's a Little Down

2011-07-25T09:19:00.000-07:00

So, yeah, that's pretty much it.

I miss pet. It seems like forever since we have been alone, and yes, I could go over and sleep at his house, with the kids there, but we can't really be alone, and we can't really be intimate the way that we both want too. Sigh.

Life stressors are getting in the way of our intimacy, and it is starting to take it's toll on our relationship.

pet's family is all effed up right now. his father and brother are very angry and tense with each other all the time, and they live together now (long story that it is not really my place to tell) pet's parents are still in dire financial straights, although we hope that that will improve some soon. As pet said to me last night "everything seems to be a struggle, can't even have a date without some drama and a fight."

It is really ridiculous. All pet and I want are a few hours alone, God forbid a whole night or weekend together, but that just seems to hard to plan, and when we do plan it very often it does not work out because of some drama or another.

I am still unemployed, although things are looking up in that area, I had some good interviews last week, and some follow-up interviews this week, so hopefully I will land something in the next few weeks and that will be one less stressor for both of us.

pet is being supportive, but my lack of unemployment is starting to really bug me now, not to mention he financial toll is taking on me, so that's rough as well.

Last week was sheer craziness. Drama with pet's family, moving his brother in with his parents in the 100 degree heat; his oldest trying to finish up the hours for her driver's license (don't even take me there) and finally getting the license on Saturday. Oh joy, now pet has to pay insurance for the kid, and she is cranky because we don't have a car to just give her. Long story, again, not my place. Sigh. My mother's birthday, his oldest's birthday, I had a friend come into town that I have not seen in a long time so I needed to make arrangements to see her, etc, etc, etc....I didn't know whether I was coming or going, two interviews on Friday. I still don't know if I am coming or going! I never thought I would be so busy AND unemployed!

This week is better, I have two interviews, one on Wednesday and one on Thursday, also need to get the car inspected. Hopefully that won't be a ton of money, the car is pretty new, so I really hope not.

For right now, we have no additional drama with pet's people, but wait a day, that may change. Poor pet, I have no idea how to help him or what to do for him, they are just kind of whackadoo and their priorities seems a bit skewed to us, but ok....

I guess the good news is that the almost-ex seems to be at bay right now, no drama from that corner of the world, and my people seem to be at bay right now as well. So that's good. I guess this is one of those times where I need to count my blessings and just be happy for what I DO have. I preach that to pet's oldest all the time, maybe I need to take some of my own advice : )

Meanwhile, back at the ranch, I am so horny I could spit nails. Really, I mean my horny is OUT of control, and I want to have really, really LOUD sex with pet, and we can't do that unless he comes to my house, and both kids are at his house....ughhhhhhhhhhh....LOVE the kids, I just want some time alone with my man, is that so much to ask???

Horny as a goat....baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa, baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa, baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.

And I love him so much, want to be alone with so bad. We really need that time, and right now, I have no idea how to get it. UGH.

I hope that all have a safe and productive week.

-D

First Post by marisa

2011-07-08T15:19:00.000-07:00

While I do believe the environment in which kids grow is overly sexualized and exposes them to adult themes too early in life, young people have much more availability to openly discuss these subjects. That is a good thing. For us 40 somethings, we still have one foot on both sides of the door when it comes to openly talking about mature things. That’s what’s so wonderful about hosting a blog. We can talk about some really personal subjects and know the majority of our readers are interested supportive listeners. Trust me, I have a lot of strange feelings and emotions going on right about now and this is an invaluable outlet…

Last night was a very cozy evening. Domina came over to my house and we watched a movie with the kids. It was just a relaxing family night that we were overdue to have. We all packed it in for the night around 1 am. The kids have got their summer schedule running. I did my best to hang with the crowd but I dozed through the second half of True Grit nonetheless.

When Domina and I retired for the night, I wasn’t sure what to expect. She had indicated how amorous she was feeling earlier. Watching me intently as I undressed before her, she noted how I was wearing one of her favorite pairs of panties. Even though it is long established expectation that I be in panties every day without fail, I still think it makes me blush a bit in these situations. I indicated that she had left them with me and therefore they were fair game for me to wear. That was enough though to light the submissive spark in me. I have not been allowed to cum since father’s day, so I have about three weeks of sexual tension built up. Climbing into bed, I couldn’t resist touching my mistress. I caressed her contours and gently kissing along back and shoulders as I spooned her. I felt the goose bumps rise up along her legs as my hand glided down her body.

Feeling the heat of my flesh and the anticipation in my breath, her dominant side kicked in accordingly. She informed me I was to give her an orgasm. While I pleasured her pussy with my fingers, she reached behind herself to squeeze my cock and balls only to let go on occasion when she could tell I was close to having an accident. “You want to suck a cock don’t you?” she inquired.

Well my friends, all I can say is to really be sure you want what you ask for. There was a time when Domina and I first started dating that I had asked for her to control my orgasms. Now I can count the number of times I cum in a year on my hands. There was a time when Domina said if she wanted to date a crossdresser she would just become lesbian. After experimenting with how panty training kept me in a submissive mindset, we are now exploring sissy lifestyles and testing the boundaries of emasculation. Once upon a time we wanted to be exclusive. Now I have vowed to be a supportive cuckold and she is desirous of watching me have sex with another man.

Our conversation continued while she teased me. “Yes, Ma’am. I want to suck a cock while you watch.”

“Sissy pet marisa, whose cock would you like to suck?”

Still not feeling attracted to men I gave the best answer I could. “I don’t care whose cock, Ma’am. I just want to suck one.”

“And how would you suck cock, marisa? Tell me how you would do it.”

I paused a moment. My brian was numb as I sat there trying not to cum while focusing on her impending orgasm. I had to really imagine what blowing a man off would be like to give an answer. I explained how I would lick it up and down and get it wet in my mouth. I told her how I envisioned my head bobbing up and down over the shaft. At this point I could feel the juices between her legs increasing as I knew she was picturing it in her mind as well.

“And you’ll turn around and hold your ass cheeks open so he can fuck you, won’t you?”

“Yes, Ma’am, if that’s what you want.”

Panting heavily she replied, “Yes! That’s what I want!”

In the movie Midway, Henry Fonda plays the part of Admiral Nimitz. Nimitz is in the hot seat because he’s abandoned his defense of Hawaii and the west coast and sent the US navy to repel an uncertain Japanese invasion of Midway island. People back in Washington is uneasy. In one of his more memorable quotes Fonda says, “It’s miserable waiting for an attack on your own people, hoping to hell that it happens.” Now, nothing in our D/s life over here is that life threatening, so this is a really bad comparison. I don’t think Nimitz walked around with a hard-on hoping to get the battle on. But what I am trying to convey is the sense of anxiety, uncertainty, and eager anticipation that Domina and I are in right now.

Please understand me, I’m not complaining. That fact that many of the D/s decisions we have made have not come to fruition yet isn’t a bad thing. It’s actually a very good thing. I think it shows are dedication and patience so that when certain things do happen we will be mentally prepared and fully embrace the changes without hesitation. The big one that comes to mind is cuckolding. We talked long and hard about this one! Would she have feelings of guilt? Would I become resentful in my jealousy? Together we came to the conclusion that we are mature enough to take this step and that it will meet our needs both as individuals and a couple. I vowed that evening to be a loving and supportive cuck and she reassured me that as of that point on I had no more say in the matter.

There are other big issues out there. Lets take gay sex for example. Domina wants to watch live gay porn sooo bad. It’s been one of the most talked about fantasies we share. It originally was something that I said I wanted to perform for her enjoyment. It made me feel very submissive to entertain the thought. Now, we’ve envisioned it so long, it has become a shared desire that we both want to come to life. Another is sissy training. Truth be told, neither of us realized it at the time but I’ve been in sissy training since the first time that Domina told me to start wearing panties. Submission fostered by emasculation has been out there for a long while now, but we’ve been very slow to progress. And to say again, this is a good thing. If you’ve read us from the beginning you’ll know how we started with a large list of rituals. It was too much change, despite desires, for two inexperienced people at the time to turn on a dime. We felt horrible when things didn’t work. It was because we dove in too fast. Now we have the experience that changes are much easier to handle.

But to get back to our Midway quote, I’m a sexually frustrated mess. I’ve donned the mantle of being a sissy gay cuckold, however, I’ve not officially been cuckolded yet, I’ve not sucked a single cock, and I’m hardly experienced as being a sissy maid. I’m in a horny purgatory. Not long ago I wouldn’t have dreamed I desired to be all these things. Now I’m saying, “It’s miserable waiting to be a bi-cuck for my mistress, hoping to hell that it happens.” There is always the escape that it doesn’t have to happen. But once I pleasure the first penis that isn’t mine and Domina takes on her first lover, it’s game over. I can’t undo the labels. No take backs. Instead of nervously imaging how it will feel, I’m ready to take the plunge and embrace the consequences of our new lifestyle. I know it’s better this way than having rushed into these things, but days like today I’m a horny wreck. With stressors like work and recent court matters, sometimes I can go a week or two without thinking much of it. But eventually the loving intimacy which is our relationship coupled with the orgasm denial catches up to me. I beg to be able to masturbate. Domina and I will go out on a date with some hot making out. Eventually the impending doom of being a sissy gay cuck storms back and hits me like a brick wall.

With all this as a backdrop on my emotions, I continue with our story of last night. As we left off Domina was teasing my cock while I was manually stimulating her to orgasm. She asked me to describe how I would suck cock for her and made me admit that I am willing to open my ass open for a man of her choosing to fuck me. My head was reeling in a fog when she then asked me, “How are you going to worship me?”

“I want to worship your body and pleasure you. I want to cook for you and clean for you.”

This answer pleased her as she told me how she would like to come home every day with me naked and collared ready to serve her, provide oral pleasures, and draw her bath water while I cook dinner. I will sit at her feet while she dines and she will feed me her scraps when to eat off the floor when she is done. This vision of the future satisfied us greatly.

Gaining some control, I dared broach the subject. I was 99% sure I knew what the answer was going to be, but I was too desperate not to ask. “May I please be inside you, Ma’am?”

“No”

Not provided a reason why, I speculated what the answer was. First off, being denied entry is a step further advanced from mere orgasm denial. But the real reason I think was much deeper than that. Since being renamed marisa on naked secretary day three weeks ago, I’ve only been inside Mistress once. I don’t think that would have happened either except that she generously gave me an orgasm for father’s day. Even though Domina loves my penis and tells me it is large, the simple fact is I’m a sissy now and she is free to have other men. The unspoken lesson seems to be that perhaps I should get use to having less intercourse like a man and expect to be penetrated more often. As our older readers know, Domina very rarely cums vaginally. Over 99% of her orgasms are achieved by clitoral stimulation. Physically, I need intercourse more than Domina and she has the power to pick and choose when and if she needs it.

So there I was feeling the rush of juices between her legs as I helped Domina to cum. My throbbing erection was inches away from the promised land but unable to enter. I was overcome by the emotions of being a sissy sub. A real man would be inside her making love like a man I thought. It struck me how Domina has started calling me pet marisa in private and referring to me in the feminine here on the blog. Humiliated and excited I continued to pleasure Mistress when she asked. “Are you worthy?”

“No Ma’am.” I whispered.

“That’s right you pathetic sissy. Gay sissy.”

Domina eventually came. The night had started our beautifully romantic. In her quiet relief, the tone changed again to feeling romantically close in the dim lights. I wanted to hold on to her for dear life, but I was scared my hard cock and writhing body would be far too disturbing. Eventually I fell asleep too and found myself some time later with my arm around her. The morning arrived and she was dressed and about to leave. Feeling deeply in love and sexually frustrated out of my mind I reached up to meet her kiss. It abates her fears I hope, but the more closer we move toward me being her sissy gay sub, the more delirious I am in desire for her. Desperately I kissed her. She smiled back at me as she headed for the door. She paused before exiting. “You can beat it.”

I peeled back the covers that hid the modesty of my full blown erection. Frantically I started jerking away at my penis, amply lubricated with precum.

She watched this helpless display for just a few seconds. “That’s hot”, was all she said. Then she slipped out the door and left me alone to my agonizing devices.

Nice Family Lunch and Hot Times After

2011-07-08T13:00:00.000-07:00

So today I had lunch with pet marisa and her kids : )

It was really nice, I had planned to take the girls some lunch anyway, and then thought that pet might to join us at her house for a nice lunch. The girls decided what they wanted, and I picked it up for us all and we all met at pet's. It was a really nice, unplanned, family moment, and I think we all had a nice lunch.

pet's kids are pretty busy this weekend, so we had some plans/rides to discuss at lunch and I think we got it all straight.

After lunch, I walked pet outside....I had dressed for the pet. Short skirt, bare shoulders to show off my new tan, hair and make-up done. Even the kids said I looked nice. And heels, to show off the legs that pet likes so much....

pet noticed, for sure, I could feel her looking at me and desiring me all through our nice family lunch :

Afterwards, pet set to go back to work, and I walked her out. Some hot kissing, again, like yesterday, and some time later I received this text message from pet:

"Crazy horny for you. Your legs look so hot in your heels. So frustrated. Heart racing in desire. Feeling the mantle of being your sissy gay cuck. Don't know how or why but makes me all the more feverish in desire for you."

Hot, hot, hot, right??

You have to LOVE being desired like this, and I do so love it : )

Last night we had a little play, I stayed at pet's, and allowed her to stroke my clit until I came. she asked to be inside me with my cock, but was summarily denied : ) I find that keeping my pet on a very short orgasmic leash makes her very, very attentive to my needs. Good stuff : )

I am so in love with all the things that my beautiful pet is. she is beautiful inside and out.

Hope all have a GREAT weekend!

-D

Hot Lunch with my Sexy Marisa pet

2011-07-07T12:20:00.000-07:00

I had lunch with my pet today, as stated in a prior post.

It was a very nice time, we held hands and enjoyed each other, and had some nice conversation : ) The last few weeks have been really hard on pet and I, for reasons stated here previously, but we are starting to come back around now I think, and that is wonderful news. Hopefully this means some nice hot posts soon for you readers!

After lunch we had one hot make out session up against my car. My pet marisa kissed me very passionately, she kissed my neck and felt my waist and hips, running her hands all over my body while we kissed. For my part, I tweaked her nipples through her dress shirt for work, and felt up my rock hard cock! marisa was so hard for me, and while we kissed we talked about hot things: like her sucking cock for me, and us going out this weekend to buy some big, fat, dildos so that I can fuck her pretty little asshole over and over again. The whole thing made me very wet standing there on the street!

pet complimented my hair on several occasions today, and sent me a text about it when I got home from lunch. It looks particularly good today, I must say, I spent a little more time on it then I usually do, and I wanted to look nice for marisa, since I have not been dressing up lately, as I am not working.

A thought occurred to me when I saw that text, about my hair, and I responded "you wish you had pretty hair like mine, don't you?" to which pet marisa responded "curious what it feels like to be you ma'am." Ha, I knew it! We must get marisa a wig soon, to complete the feminine look on her, so she can "see" what it feels like to be me. Of course, she could never know what it feels like to be me, as I am her Domme, and she is my sweet, sissy slut petty pet pet : )

More to cum later

-D

D's Getting Her Sexy Back!

2011-07-07T12:05:00.000-07:00

So....

My sexy has been missing the last few weeks, and here's why...

I am not working, which makes me feel useless, and I am not bringing in an income right now, which knocks my self-esteem and confidence into the crapper, self-esteem and confidence in the crapper, and there goes the sexy.....right down the bowl, FLUSH! My sexy is tied to my dominance, so no sexy, no Domme for the pet, and no fun times at the OK Corral! Not to mention the financial concerns, but I am truly trying to keep those at bay, and just live cheap...

BUT, this morning I woke up with a renewed zeal, fired off a bunch of resumes (I do this every day, don't get me wrong) but some days are definitely more "job search productive" than others, for sure.

Anyway, I woke up this morning feeling quite alot better, and here are some positive things:

1. I do have enough money to pay the bills through the next few months, and I do have some good job prospects on the horizon, so that is good news.

2. I am getting quite the nice tan this summer, since I have the time to lay about in the sunshine, and I have a friend with a pool : )

3. I am looking at taking a very cost-effective trip to the beach next week, I have a girlfriend that lives there and would have a free place to stay, and since she is broke too, we could have a very cost-effective few days together, so I am looking forward to that. That all depends on my interview schedule of course....

4. I wound up having a very nice July 3rd, haha. I spent the day at my friend's pool and then barbecued with my family and had a great meal that night. Steak, shrimp, asparagus, corn on the cob and watermelon. It was about the most perfect light summer meal! Yum! July 4th was not great, as my back was bothering me (this has been a problem for the last few weeks, my lower back has been pretty painful) and I was just kind of generally down. I did not see pet or the kids, but the oldest one and I were fighting anyway, at that time...

5. pet and I are planning a little trip to take the kids to the beach in August, so I have that to look forward to as well : ) As soon as I know what my financial situation will be in the next few weeks, we will have a better idea of what we can afford to do. It will probably amount to a long weekend at the beach, but still, it will be nice anyway to get away with him and the kids : )

So, while I do have some definite concerns with the job situation, I do have wonderful friends and family to support me, and love me through this, I am lucky, lucky woman, to be sure!

Onward ho I say! Positive thinking and actions breeds positive results!

-D

Summer Update

2011-07-07T11:48:00.000-07:00

So, I had lunch with my lovely pet marisa today : ) It was a lovely lunch, both of us positive and up after a good period of being negative and down. Here is a little update on us and what keeps us from getting our freak on on the regular these days, and writing hot posts for our wonderful followers to read!! : )

1) pet's parents are still in dire financial straits, things are finally starting to look up as they have FINALLY agreed to sell one of their properties, thank God. pet has been waiting for quite some time for them to realize that they needed to take this necessary action, and we are grateful that they have. Truly grateful.

2. pet's brother's is still a mess, no job, no prospects, no effort, that we can see, and now he seems to have developed some kind of health condition. Sigh. pet and he had a good talk last night, so maybe that will spurn him into action on something....we hope so anyway as he is about to be homeless and pet and I just can't help him right now.

3. We had to go back to court last week. Joy and pleasure. Well, the good news is that we won, again! : ) pet will maintain full custody of his oldest, and we are still allowed to have overnights when he has the kids. But this effort did not come without some anxiety and stress to be sure. This time I had to testify, as did his oldest, and so did pet. Very stressful on all of us. The almost-ex did not have an attorney so she was the one asking the questions. Nothing but fun there. But it's over, and we are happy and moving on! : )

4. I am still looking for employment, and have been a bit down about it lately. I have had some interviews, and one really lousy offer (long story there). I am supposed to have two interviews next week, so hopefully something will pan out there; I am waiting on confirmation of those now. I am still waiting on my tax refund which would alleviate my stress about the job thing some, so that would be good...yep, that could show up any day now....

5. There has been alot of tension between pet's oldest and I, a few different incidents of days of not speaking to each other, moments of disrespect on her part, and me not handling things well on my part. So...that has been rough, but we seemed to have straightened things out as of last night, so that is good news : )

I think that's about it, I have had some general depression, feeling useless, and like I am not bringing anything to the table in our relationship right now. I never realized how much my job/career were tied to my self-esteem and how I see myself, so that has been quite the learning experience the last few weeks. Sigh.

I will update with more fun stuff in my next post : )

Take care all-

-D

Introducing-Marisa

2011-06-23T06:05:00.000-07:00

I forgot to share something major with you dear readers, forgive me, my bad!

A few posts back I mentioned that pet asked me to name his femme alter persona. Well, I have decided on a name and that name is Marisa. So I would like to introduce you all to Marisa! : ) She is beautiful, although a little masculine, and in the coming weeks/months I hope to show you all the pretty outfits that she will wear for her Mistress.

In addition, anthony I recently decided that we needed to start appreciating all of our loyal readers/followers. So, I will kick this off by giving a shout out to all our loyal readers from Staunton, VA and Lancaster, VA! Thanks so much for taking the time to read our blog, and we love comments, so please, if you have anything to say, good, bad, indifferent, please bring it on! anthony/Marisa and I do love to hear from our readers!

Also, if you is anything in particular that you would like to see Marisa in, please advise. I am happy to oblige by dressing her up in whatever you find most attractive-nothing but fun there! : )

I hope that all have a wonderful day!

-D

Father Knows Best

2011-06-22T07:09:00.000-07:00

Sunday was Father's Day, and you would think that that would be a positive day for my pet right? He is a wonderful father, very involved with his kids, always there for them, and will do anything in the world for them.

But, of course, it could not be easy because of his almost-ex. No need to get into all that, suffice to say that we will be celebrating Father's Day with pet's kids this coming weekend. No big deal, all is well with pet and the kids and she can go suck it.

So, as it turns out, pet and I had the day alone together again on Sunday, yippee skippy!

We had a productive weekend, we saw pet's parents, did some running around, pet got his yardwork done, and would have done mine, but my lawnmower gave out. Oh well, that will happen another day.

We did a little shopping at our local "naughty" store : ) I allowed pet to pick out a vibrator for himself, to use at his house, when he is not with me, but of course, he must ask for permission before he uses it on himself.

pet does not do well in the naughty store, he is all stuck up my ass, and seems at a loss when left to shop on his own. I left him alone to pick out his vibrator, which I thought was a very generous thing to do, and when I checked on him later, he STILL had not picked one out. Oh well, he had his chance! So I picked it out. A pretty purple one that was kind of swirled, that should be fun! : ) We also needed to pick up some cock rings, as his were stolen in the last raid on his house by the almost-ex. So these items have been purchased,and I am proud to say that pet is back in his cock ring, as it should be : )

pet did ask me last night if he could fuck himself with his new cock, which I summarily denied. I explained to him that I will use it on him for the first time, so that he will understand that I am in charge of when he pleasures himself with it, and he is NOT allowed to use it without my permission AT ALL. He seemed to accept that, although did not really respond. When I check later, and I will check, I expect that cock to still be in the package that it came in......but I digress....

I was not feeling my best on Sunday, was not feeling sexy at all, and had a bad moment with that. As always, pet made me feel better about my body, and we managed to make love later. pet gave me a VERY hard orgasm, and as promised, I allowed pet to cum as well. Well! There were cum everywhere!! All over the place, between us, on the bed, everywhere! I guess that's what happens when you wait so long to allow your pet to cum : ) Oh well! Maybe I will let him cum again around the 4th of July, ha! We shall see...

I think that's all for now!

Tata-

-D

Naked Secretary's Day-Part III

2011-06-22T06:48:00.001-07:00

Ah, the Grand Finale!

So, I wanted to take some pictures of anthony all femmed up, some of which you see posted here, so I had him get back into his outfit. We took some pictures, and then I decided that we would do some more fooling around.

I fucked anthony's asshole some more, nothing but fun there, and finally removed the dildo from his ass, which prompted anthony to ask if he could be inside me. To be honest, I had promised him that we could make love later on in the day, and it seemed that now was the time! We made love, and I have to say, the feeling of anthony being all femmed up against my skin, was quite intriguing. I don't believe that I have lesbian tendencies, but I must admit, every now and then, I do wonder what it would be like to be with a woman, and I have posted those thoughts here previously.

So, we made wonderful love, and even as desperate as pet was, and on the verge of cumming every second, he knows better mind you, I am proud to say that he kept himself in check and saw to it that I had two more hot, hard orgasms. Woot! That makes a total of 5 for the day! Not my personal best, but fantastic nonetheless, right??

After I came, anthony asked if he could use the "cock" on himself. He has never asked for this before, so I gave my permission, as I was very sleepy from my orgasms, and did not have the strength to fuck him myself. So, I watched in awe as my love sat on the cock on the bed and fucked himself : ) I stroked his cock, and the inside of his thighs over and over, and watched his face as he quite enjoyed taking the big dildo up and down, and in and out. he is quite flexible and managed to fuck himself in several positions while I watched and rested.

Eventually though, I had had enough of him shaking the bed and told him to stop. He curled up next to me and tried not to move, although he was desperately horny and needed release. I promised pet that he could cum on Sunday, which was Father's Day, that would be his "goal" date. He accepted this with a very quiet "Thank you Ma'am."

Honestly, I don't remember the last time anthony came, and I don't think he does either, I am sure it was months ago, but I don't know when. Oh well, I did allow him to cum on Father's Day and will post about that separately.

Oh! I keep forgetting to mention that in the midst of all of this sexy fun anthony and I gave each other pedicures : ) His toes looks very pretty; I choose a mauve shade for him this time, which I think looks better on him than the shiny pink that I chose last time. I very much enjoy giving my pet pedicures, it is quite the intimate and caring experience, and I believe that he finds it exciting as well, although he has to constantly wear slippers or socks in front of his kids now : ) And no shorts either as his legs are as smooth as a baby's butt : )

More fun to cum later-

-D

Naked Secretary's Day-Part II

2011-06-22T05:54:00.000-07:00

Now, let's see...where was I...

Oh yes, pet had just made me cum, and we were resting...well, I was resting, he was desperately horny and submissive-woot!

So after awhile we decided to shower up and go get some lunch. We went to our favorite Mexican restaurant and had a lovely lunch, good conversation, and really enjoyed each other's company : )

After arriving back at my house, it was time for more naked secretary fun! I gave pet a choice, walking around naked in just his collar, or back to being femmed up...he asked me to choose, and this time I chose just nakedness in his collar, his naked is HOT!!

We lay on the bed together, kissing and stroking each other again, when I suddenly got up and undressed myself as well. He asked what I was doing and I said "getting ready to violate your ass." That got an instant reaction out of his already hard cock, it started to bounce and sway with excitement, love it! : )

I got out the lube and a good dildo for the occasion, purple, one of my favorite colors. While I was in the "fun" drawers (a little nightstand type of thing that sits next to my bed with some of our toys in it) I got out a few other things, nipple clamps, ball gag, and some toys that vibrate. I put the toy that wraps around his cock on him first an turned it on full tilt. That got many hot moans out of my love. Then I turned on the toy that vibrates and is supposed to be inserted into his ass, and stuffed that under his balls, again, more hot moans from pet! I had better plans for his ass than that little vibrating anal toy! Woot!

I then took the nipple clamps, tightened them up as far as they would go, and attached them to his nipples. More moaning and writhing from my sissy-bitch. His eyes were rolling around with all of the intense sensations. Time for the ball gag! I put this on him and he immediately started to drool with the exertions of all of his moaning efforts. Now, mind you, I am not a big fan of spittle, but I have to say, it was hot, hot, hot, watching anthony lay there, vibrating, nipple clamps on, dildo stuffed up his hot ass, drooling all over everything, and not being able to speak! VERY HOT!!

This went on for some time as fucked him with dildo, using some of that time to touch myself as well. It was SO hot to lay there and watch his eyes bug out as I fucked him, and he was a vibrating, drooling mess of a pussy-bitch! At one point I had him take the dildo, sit up, and fuck himself by riding it up and down while he was on his knees. It makes me wet just to think about how he looked now! This went on for a long time, and eventually I made myself cum, twice, not allowing him to touch me but just fuck himself like the little sissy slut he so desperately wants to be.

Again, anthony was not allowed to cum, and eventually I removed all of the toys from him, he was SO desperate for me, and I allowed him to pull on his cock some more while I took a little nap.

Stayed tuned, this is not the end of Naked Secretary's Day, more fun to cum!

-D

Naked Secretary Day-Give that Girl/Boy a Raise!!-Part I

2011-06-18T04:46:00.000-07:00

Well dear readers, sometimes, things do turn out as well as you plan : )

And Naked Secretary Day was one of those days, woot! Woot!

So my love arrives at my house early in the morning, right after he drops off the youngest at school. I had laid out his outfit for him, a lovely camisole in black and green and pretty black panties. We lay together for a bit, talking and kissing when I instruct him to put his outfit on. Unfortunately, the camisole does not really do him justice, as it is mine, and much too big up top for him. So I switch it out to a pretty little purple and black corset, which fits much better, as I can adjust the corset straps tighter : ) I then proceed to put a full compliment of make-up on anthony. Very red lipstick, gray eyeliner, a variety of eye shadow, and blush. He had not shaved his face, as I forgot to ask him to do so, but he did shave his lovely legs, so that they were smooth and wonderful. Only so much you can do with a 3-day old beard, but I did my best : )

Originally, I had not planned to put thigh-high stockings on him, but it just seemed like a good idea after the make-up. So I pulled some out of my drawer and slowly drew them up his pretty, muscular, shaved legs. This is a very sensual act, and I would recommend it to anyone : ) It is very intimate, looking into your lover's eyes, and sliding stockings up their thighs, very hot!!

As you can imagine, this whole time, pet is very, very, hard, he is loving it, and I am loving watching him : ) We proceed to kiss and make out on the bed. We felt each other for long time. I was wearing a long purple silky nightgown, and the feeling of the two pieces of lingerie, corset against nightgown, was very erotic, I must say. I loved running my hands up and down anthony's smooth shaved legs in the stockings, very, very hot!

We kiss and kiss and kiss. I love kissing pet, have I mentioned that? : ) He is the BEST kisser. I undo the corest a little at the bottom so that I can run my hads over his stomach; pet has lost alot of weight this last and is looking REALLY good these days, hot, hot, hot! I stroke his cock, squeeze the balls, and basically just stroke him, and stroke him and stroke him. It is a delicious feeling, to have the entire day with him. No work, no kids, just pet and I loving each other : ) No rush, no hurry : )

Eventually we get down to brass tacks though, and pet plunges his face between my legs : ) he is so talented in this way, and licks, and licks, and laps up my pussy. I stroke his cock softly and just enjoy the attention that he is giving my pussy. After a long while I decide that I will cum in this way. It has been a long time since I have allowed pet to make me cum in this way, and I start moving my hips to indicate that this is what will occur this morning. I can tell that pet gets more excited, as he is pumping his hips, the cock in my hand moving faster. He LOVES to make me cum this way, and I don't always allow it, preferring instead to cum with his cock in me. At one point, pet asks if he may be inside me. He always has to ask : ) I do not allow pet inside me without permission. I tell him "no, I don't want that right now," and proceed to pump my pussy in his face indicating that I am ready to cum now.

The orgasm is hot, and I am loud, as per the norm : ) pet and I rest for a bit, and I allow him to tug on his cock. he is desperately horny, and his cock is hard and dripping, oozing pre-cum everywhere. I tell him that since it is Father's Day weekend, if he is very good, I may let him cum on Sunday. He is very grateful and buries his head in my shoulder, snuggling me, and pulling on his pud. He thanks me for my consideration of letting him cum, and his desperation is painfully obvious. Poor pet : )

I smile a little and drift off for a little nap.

Here is Part 1-more to cum later! : )

Have a GREAT morning everyone!!

-D

Transition Continued

2011-06-13T21:41:00.001-07:00

I swallowed the lump in my throat as i calmly stated the obvious, "i dont have any women's clothes." Domina was prepared. She wants me in a miniskirt and has decided to pick out my first outfit. And to compliment my new look, she instructed me to resume leg shaving. Domina is so excited her enthusiasm has spilled over to me despite how intimidating it may be. We want me to be Domina's sissy maid. How am i ever going to serve her in front of other Ds friends if i don't conquer the inhibition? We consumated the evening with some hot love making however i was the one to be penetrated. Domina reinforced my feminization by relentlessly pounding my hole with her dildo. And when she finally withdrew, she stuck it straight into my mouth to suck on while she played with herself. She was to have no part of me behaving like a man while we made love. Eventually i was allowed to eat out her ass while she orgasmed. Sexual denial and sissy humiliation has left me in desperate sub space since... and desperately in love.

Big Date and Transitional Steps

2011-06-13T21:14:00.000-07:00

I had felt very Paul Bunion during the day. The forest having encroached into my yard i had decided it was time to cut it back. The manly aura i felt was not to last though. It was date night with Domina and she was in a mood to step up the feminization process. Dinner felt a little romantic being able to hold hands and kiss after a long weekend. Conversation started with the ususal topics regarding kids and family. But as the soup was being brought to the table things took a turn in a new direction. As Domina has stated in an earlier post, she was invited to dinner at another domme's home who's partner likes to cross dressed. In part of the conversation she offered Domina an invitation to have us back again, and if she liked, to have us guys fem up for the evening. Once upon a time this would not have had a great appeal to us, but times have a way of changing things. Domina bubbled with excitement. "What would you like to wear?" she asked me knowing i would have trouble responding. To continue...

Suck My Feet Bitch and Other Tales of Date Night

2011-06-13T07:03:00.000-07:00

Good Morning Readers!

I am back home from Interview #1 and think I did well : ) I don't really want the job, but I am pleased with my performance in the interview, so that's good : )

Now to the juicy stuff!

So last night anthony and I had planned a little date. Just a late dinner and then he was going to take care of my toes, that are in desperate need of a pedicure, bad!!

We had a lovely dinner, good conversation, and enjoyed each other's company : ) We avoided some "landmine topics" for us, so that was good to : )

When we got back to my house we were both very full, but as we lay together talking I started to get pretty horny for my pet. Now, I am always horny for my pet, but this horniness took me over pretty fast!

I started by telling pet that he had too many clothes on and to take them off. He obliged happily. After he was naked, I felt him all over for awhile, he feels so good, I love his body, and everything about his body! I ran my hands all over his body, just enjoying the feel of him.

Pretty soon I was getting hotter and took my clothes off as well. We started making out in earnest; and all of the sudden I was taken by a fit of dominance. It came on me like a rush of heat and adrenaline. I spread pet's legs wide, violated his asshole, licked my cock, slapped his balls enjoying watching him cringe and contort his body with the pain of it. I alternately squeezed his cock and slapped his balls while he doubled-over with the pain, but never told me to stop : ) A note here: please: while pet finds this treatment very painful, he also enjoys it very much, and it makes my cock very hard!

While I was squeezing and slapping his man-parts, I shoved my feet in his face, yelling at him to suck and lick them clean; if he was not doing it fast enough, or to my liking, I would squeeze and slap the cock and balls even harder, the whole while cramming my feet in his face, and he was desperately trying to lick and suck them. It was some hot, hot, times!

Eventually I grew tired of the squeezing and slapping and needed a break, and the cock needed a rest as well. I got out a dildo and lube and greased his whole ass up. I shoved the dildo in him mercilessly, with no regard for his pain, or pleasure, for that matter. I was set about taking his ass, and I meant to do it MY way.

I shoved the dildo in and out of him, twisted it this way and that, turned it around inside him, rolled him over into different positions. I fucked him with his legs high in the air, on his hands and knees, and my new favorite, I fucked him with me laying behind him with one arm wrapped around his chest and neck forcing him to fuck himself harder and harder on the dildo. At one point I was using just my knee to move the dildo in and out of his asshole harder and faster! I could feel myself become soaking wet, but there was no way I was letting my pathetic sissy maid slut inside me this night, he was not worthy of that pleasure.

Finally I rolled him over on his back again, with his legs high in the air as I lay between his legs and fucked him with the dildo with my hand shoving it harder and faster inside. pet moaned and moaned his pleasure, he was loving every inch of that dick inside him; there was nothing but pure pleasure and bliss on his face, the pain of the initial penetrations was gone, and he was moaning louder with each stroke of the dildo in his asshole. I was enjoying the intimacy of laying in between his legs and fucking him, missionary-style, like a man does a woman. Our faces were very close, the wisps of my hair, which was put up, falling all around his face with my fucking efforts, and our kissing was very deep and very intimate. Our eye contact was amazing, and for the first time EVER, I really felt like I had a cock and I was making love to anthony. It was sweet and hot all at the same time. I had never felt like this, even with my strap-on. I felt very close to him, and I could see in his eyes that he felt the same way.

Finally, I grew tired, and needed rest, fucking your pet like a man is hard work!
So, I rolled off of him, removed the dildo from his ass, put one of his hands on his penis, put the dildo in his other hand, and forced the dildo in his mouth. I lay beside him stroking my clit while he sucked the dildo that had just been up his own ass. I told him to suck it like he would suck man-cock for me, and he was very obedient. I lay there with my soaking wet pussy, dripping with the sweat of my efforts fucking anthony, and was horny as a goat. I commanded that he lick my ass and stroke my pussy. He was very obedient, and got his face flush with my ass and set to licking away! I was drenched in pussy-juice as his fingers went to work on my clit.

It did not take too long of my screaming at him to lick my ass before I came, VERY loudly.....as our dear readers know by now I am very vocal : )

pet lay next to me after I came; and I allowed him to stroke himself a bit, and he kissed me sweetly. Of course, he was not allowed to cum. His breath smelled of my pussy, my ass, his ass...etc. Now, I am sure that that sounds pretty gross to all of you, but something about it was just, hot.

Three cheers for Date Night!!

More hot times to report later-

-D

Naked Secretary Day and Naming my Sissy Maid Slut

2011-06-12T12:53:00.001-07:00

Good afternoon All-

I used to work from home quite a bit, at least two days per week. At that time, anthony and I joked around about him taking a day off and being my "naked secretary" for the day. We actually did this once, and it turned out great! and hot! : )

Since I have been unemployed, we have talked about him taking another day, so we can spend some concentrated time together. Well, that day is upon us! Friday, anthony will yet again be my naked secretary! : ) Not that there is much for him to "secretary" since I am not working right now, but you get the idea : )

I am excited! anthony much desires to be my sissy maid slut and my floors do need some cleaning. Last time he did this, it was so hot, for both of us! With him running around in his little French maid's outfit, I wonder what cute outfit I can put together to have him run around in all day this time? : ) I will take any/all suggestions. Bring 'em on!

As you all know, anthony does like to be feminized, so I can definitely see putting him in some kind of women's outfit/costume for the day on Friday. Plus, we are making some plans with our new friends, D and g, for the coming weekend, and g is a cross-dresser (at home only.) So, I am hoping that he will be able to give my pet some tips on how to "be pretty." Fun, fun, fun!!

g has a name for his alter persona, which I won't share here, that is not my place, but pet and I were cuddling and talking last night, and I asked him if he wanted to have a name for his alternate persona as well. pet got all flushed and said that I should pick it out. It was very sweet, and when I asked him why, he did not really want to explain it to me, saying only that it was "corny." With a little coaxing, I got out of him that "when you name something, you own it, it is yours." Ah, I see. "Kind of like naming the puppy at the pound and then you have to take it home?" I said to him sweetly. And he said "yes, just like that." And blushed again. It is so sweet when he blushes, the big, strong, manly-man, reduced to blushing when he admits that he wants to wear panties and skirts : ) I love it!

So......I now have a task to perform, it would seem. Naming my sissy maid slut. I hope to come up with something by Friday that we will both be happy with. I would like it to be something close to his real name, or at least starting with the first letter, as I think it should be an extension of his existing self. I am looking forward to Friday, and our concentrated time together very much. I have several interviews this week, so that is very good news, but I am making certain to leave Friday open. That will be "our" day, and our day ALONE.

My resume, I am pleased to report, has generated much interest, and I am starting to get some calls for some good jobs. I am very fortunate, I know alot of people aren't getting called at all, so I am very grateful. I am not real crazy about this interview tomorrow, the rate is low, and I am not all that interested in the job, but I will do it, can't turn down interviews, at the very least I will keep up my interviewing skills, so that is good.

I had to shop this weekend for new interview clothes and found that I went up a size, ugh. Oh well, it happens, I know that the weight will come off again when I am more active and working. Not that I am not busy, God knows, I am the busiest non-working person I know! haha. But the time off has been good, I must admit, I feel rested, and restored. I will be ready to get back to work in a week or so, for sure. I am feeling a little stir crazy now, quite honestly, but I do have much to take care of around my house still, and I will like to get some of it done before returning to work. pet will help me, of course, and now I will have the house pet as well, I am hoping to get him in here next week to take care of some things, for sure. We will see how our schedules work out. I will reach out to him and coordinate those efforts.

Tata for now-more to report later, it's Date Night with Pet! : )

-D

Cuckolding Ideas Make for Quite the Hot Night

2011-06-12T05:41:00.000-07:00

Well yes, dear readers, anthony and I have yet again been discussing cuckolding. As most of you know, this has been and on-again off-again topic for us for awhile. Except now, we are actually moving forward with the idea.

After much soul-searching and HOURS of talk and communication, anthony and I have decided that this is where we want to take our relationship, our next level of D/s intimacy.

Let me be very clear here. I am not tired of pet, I am not bored sexually, I am not bored with our relationship. I still desire him, and want him in every way. The fact of the matter is that he desires to be cuckolded, and has desired it for a long time. he finds it the ultimate act in submission, that I may have freedom in all matters, while he remains my ever-obedient, ever-faithful submissive. Please understand that anthony desires this even more so than I do. It has taken me a long time to get used to the idea, and embrace it, but I finally have : )

The last few weeks these conversations have become even more intense, and the fact of the matter is that pet does not really have the time to service me the way that I would like to be serviced. he has many obligations and responsiblities to his children and his family, and we do not live together as of yet, so our time together is limited, and most of you know that this has been a running theme in the last 4 years that we have been together.

So, I will start by taking on a house pet. Someone to do things for me around the house, who is looking to serve. In fact, on Monday of this week I interviewed a house pet, and he was very nice. Little shy, but very intent on service, and I think he may work out just fine. He has quite the foot fetish, so I am seeing some very loving and attentive pedicures in my future! : )

Two weekends ago, pet and I had "our" weekend, a 24-hour period where the children are both at their mother's house. This happens twice a month. So, since I had been complaining that pet did not make enough effort in the romance department, he really went out of his way : )

I spent the day at a friend's pool, getting some sun, and just hanging out. pet did some work on his yard, and then very sweetly asked if he could take my friend and I to dinner. It was a lovely gesture and one he had never made before. My friend was really pleased that he asked, and with a little convincing that she would not be interrupting our "date" time, she agreed to go. We had a great dinner, with pet giving my friend the "man's" perspective on some dating issues that she is having. We laughed alot and just had a great time : ) pet and I have been struggling alot lately, having some issues with family, and his children, and our relationship has been strained at best. And there is always the ever looming stress that is pet's impending divorce, which always causes problems for us. But anyway, I digress, back to our nice night : )

Aftewards, pet and I went back to his house, he lit candles, opened a bottle of wine and we talked, kissed, and cuddled. He rubbed my feet and we just chatted. Finally the conversation turned to the cuckolding, the parameters, rules, guidelines, whatever you want to call them. I am not sure we got everything resolved, as we both got SO hot during the conversation!

We undressed each other, and I was SO wet that he slipped into me, full length of shaft, with no problem! For those of you that have seen anthony's cock on the blog, you know that is a lot of cock to take in one stroke! We were SO hot for each other and our lovemaking was truly amazing that night! We always have really hot sex, but there was something different about this night. I was on a mission to come without the assist of clitorial stimulation, and he was on a mission to make that happen!

anthony's stamina was unparalled! I swear it feels like he made love to me for an hour non-stop! Different positions, etc, I felt so close to him, so intimate. When I finally came, it was a bit of a disappointment, but the lovemaking itself was truly awesome! He, of course, was not allowed to cum, and lay there panting and pathetic....I let him pull on his cock some while I rested, I am kind : )

More to cum later-

-D

What a Lovely Evening

2011-06-12T05:29:00.000-07:00

Good Morning Friends and Faithful Readers-

I do hope that all is well with each and every one of you!

So, as I am unemployed, I have more time on my hands to visit friends and family, and that has really been wonderful : )

As such, on Wednesday of this week, I took a run out to meet our new friends, let's call them D and g. It was a nice drive, although a little long, and D had me meet her at her office, and we went and had an early dinner and some drinks at a local restaurant. D was most gracious and lovely, as she always is, and I was very happy to spend some time alone with her, just Domme on Domme : )

I learned so much about Her. She is an amazing woman, of this I had no doubt, but she is quite the survivor in many aspects of her life. I am so proud of women who respect themselves and take care of themselves and don't allow life to get them down. D definitely fits this category. In addition, I learned that she is bi-sexual and her sub g, is quite the cross-dresser. Hopefully they won't mind me reporting a little of their business here, but I find them so interesting and exciting as a couple that I feel I must report! : ) haha.

After a leisurely early dinner and long talk, she had g make some coffee for us back at their home. What a nice evening : ) We had some wonderful conversation, and found that we see eye-to-eye on many D/s related topics. We had a very nice, honest, conversation and I am truly looking forward to spending more time with them! Towards the end of the evening, D's daughter stopped by, and she is really a lovely girl. Recently married and quite pregnant, she is beautiful and very intelligent. D has much to be proud of in her!

I shared most of our talk with pet when I got back home, and he was very excited and pleased as well, and very happy for me that I had such a nice time with them : ) We are now trying to plan our next outing/event with them.

It is always nice to embark on a new friendship that shows such promise for the future as a long-term friendship!

D and I have some fun ideas about our next get-together! Woot!

Take care all and have a GREAT day!

-D

Checking In

2011-06-10T16:28:00.000-07:00

Hello faithful readers. anthony here. i apologize it has been soooo long since i checked in. As you may know i have not been on the posting circuit much lately. i have written several but am yet to put them up. Budget cuts in my house struck things like the internet at my home. Not to worry. i am not broke off or unemployed. i have a brother who lives like he is homeless and my elderly parents are flirting with being homeless. Meanwhile i have many a support payment and attorney fees to pay. Enough of the self deprication. i do not mean to whine but to tell you all is well and get back to out normal he said she said banter. i am not going to give away any secrets yet, but Domina and i are getting ready for some new and exciting ventures and adventures. What my issue at the moment seems to be deciding where to start. Sooooo.....

All Femmed Up

2011-06-06T15:28:00.000-07:00

Good evening All-

Not a big post today, just wanted to let you all know that pet I have added some items to pet's daily submissive accoutrement:

1. pet now uses ladies deodorant, gone is the Old Spice manly-man deodorant, he is now using Degree for Women-Powder Fresh, so that he can smell all fresh and pretty : )

2. pet is now using FDS (Feminine Deodorant Spray) on my cock, and the cock-related areas each day. I have asked pet for years to wear men's cologne for me, and I even bought him several kinds. he has never done this for me. So, since he can't seem to do that for me, he can spray my cock and make it smell pretty every day. I bet he wishes that he would have used the cologne now, huh? : )

So, to recap on what my pet's daily "outfit" consists of, each day pet wears:

cock ring
panties
a small leather collar that says "slut" on it, under his shirt and tie
a garter
women's deodorant
FDS Spray

I am sure that pet will let me know if I have forgotten anything when he see this post.

pet and I have been having some struggles which I will cover in a later post, but for now, pet is all femmed up, until I can think of other things to do to him : )

Ta for now-

-D

Musings

2011-05-31T17:25:00.000-07:00

I have titled this post "Musings" as I am not sure that I have a real direction here. Just some random thoughts.

1. I have been out of work "unemployed" for a little over two weeks now, and I have to say, it feels great! Well, at least until the money runs out : ) But for right now, I am ok financially; no big shopping or anything like that, but the bills are paid, there is money in the bank to pay next month's bills, and my job prospects look pretty good. So for right now, I am not too worried. Groceries in the frig, so all is well : )

With that, I have had some time on my hands as you can imagine. Although, I really can't say that I have been idle at all. I have been doing some things for family and friends, and for pet and his kids, alot of picking up and dropping off of his oldest, cooking dinners, etc. Housewife/domestic type stuff, and I love that too : )

With the additional time on my hands I have had some time to read other blogs. I am kicking around the idea of doing some things on the Web and I think it is always a good idea to get ideas from other people, no sense in re-creating the wheel, huh?

I think I have decided mostly what I do and don't want to do....now I just have to decide what I AM going to do, lol. So, I am working on that.

2. pet and I had some hot times yesterday! Woot! We had some very intimate and hot lovemaking in the afternoon and then a nice dinner together and talk. We have scheduled some D/s time tomorrow night, and I am very much looking forward to that. We have been trading some hot "sexting" messages today, keeping each other turned on in a kind of sexual frenzy. pet claims that he has been horny and desperate for me since last Sunday and our "french maid" hot times : ) So.....hopefully I will have some hot posting on Thursday to report. Woot!

3. pet and I are working on setting up a date with our new D/s couple friends. Our last meeting with them was quite enjoyable and we are now really looking forward to talking to them more, opening up more, and really getting into the nitty gritty down and dirty of living D/s lives. It is so nice to have friends that we can be completely open with, much like our friends W and j. It is always nice to be able to really be ourselves. Good stuff! I will hopefully lock down that plan this week. pet's kids should be their mother's this weekend so we will have some time alone, woot!

I guess that's it for now. Right now, I am also working on deciding what kind of Domme I want to be. I have been reading other Domme's blogs, and I really need to spend time thinking about who I wan to be in this lifestyle, how far I want to go, and where I ultimately want to take me and my subby pet.

Much love and kisses-

D

Switching It Up

2011-05-23T05:28:00.000-07:00

Good Morning Friends-

This weekend was just wonderful : ) pet and I got off to a bit of a rocky start on Friday with a little fight. We don't always see eye to eye on child-rearing, and it makes things a bit difficult sometimes. I am a little more hard-core/strict than pet; but then again they are not MY kids, so there you go. That is tough for me to deal with at times, and it erupts every now and then.

So, that being dealt with, I am always impressed/happy with our ability to move on from a negative time. We are usually able to discuss things rationally, forgive each other, if necessary, and move on. Which is what we did Saturday afternoon at lunch : ) We don't live in the "way back" machine, and we don't dredge up the past when we fight. I think that is very important, to stay in the present, and argue about the issue at hand, if arguing is necessary.

So pet and I had a nice lunch on Saturday; the kids were both at their Mom's for the rest of the weekend.

Then we went to see a movie, all through which I touched my cock the entire time. Stroking and squeezing and petting, oh my! Then we went to buy pet some new panties, since our last "raid" by pet's almost-ex, he was low on panties to get him through the week. Panties and garters purchased, I was not feeling all that well, so we came back to my house to lay down for a bit. Not sure what was wrong with me, was just feeling a bit off.

Well, we had another bit of a spat about some other things, and finally came to a better place. Sometimes pet and I fight when we have not been intimate enough or had enough alone time together in awhile, and I think that has been the case lately.

Finally, I took pet's hand and led him back to the bedroom, and told him that we would not be talking anymore. In complete blackness, with the air-conditioning unit making a low hum in the background we proceeded to undress each other and make love.

A little twist on things, pet was the dominant one this time : ) Most of our regular readers know that every now and then I like pet to dominate me. Switch things up a bit, as it does get exhausting being in charge ALL the time.

pet obviously sensed my mood and became aggressive with me. Very hot!! he turned me this way and that, to fuck me in different positions, smacked my ass while he was fucking me, talked dirty to me, made me suck the cock after it had been inside me, that was different, not sure I recall doing that before. Interesting.....

he continued to fuck me and dominate me until I came, and screamed loud and long, he still did not cum...he did not take his momentary dominance that far : ) he knew he still needed my permission to cum : )

After we rested a bit and held each other, I had something of a crying fit. More of a release I think, as I don't deal well with my submissive emotions, so it is difficult for me. As always, pet was lovingly supportive, held me, and we discussed how I was feeling. I have always said, the past few years, that this lifestyle requires communication, you cannot be in a D/s relationship and not discuss every intimate detail of your lives in that way. You just can't, but that's just my opinion.

So....after a long and comfortable rest and talk, we decided to get up and get something to get eat. It was late, so "breakfast for dinner" was our best option. We had a nice meal and good talk, and came back to my house for the night.

We had a good sleep, and then next morning I was feeling energetic and dominant once again! So, when pet got up to get to go to the restroom; I laid out his little French maid's uniform for him. We had bought this long ago; and have not used it much.

pet came back from the restroom and started to put his jeans on, but I pointed out to him that I had laid out his "uniform" for the morning : ) he blushed a little and said it was up to me, and I said "yes, it is" and nodded my head to indicate that he was to put it on. I helped him get dressed, and I had laid out some lacy black panties for him as well : ) pet was VERY, VERY hard once he had gotten dressed.

I then instructed him to clean my floors, showed him the broom, dustpan and vacuum cleaner and told him to get to work. he did a good job on the floors, with me stopping what I was doing (other household chores) periodically to touch, him, kiss him, and stroke his very, very, hard cock. I bent him over to watch his ass in the little black panties and felt him up all over. pet was rock-hard, and I added a little dark red lipstick to him to go with his outfit : )

When pet was done with the floors, he then did some dusting and other cleaning while I made us some breakfast. Originally I had planned to let him eat at the table, and put his breakfast, eggs and bacon, on a plate, but then I changed my mind, and got out the little pet bowls that I had had him buy long ago, when we first decided to start his SST and puppy training. I put some of the eggs in the bowl, and a few pieces of bacon and set in the floor next to the table where I was going to eat.

pet looked at me with weakness and inferiority in his eyes, he was excited, I could tell, but not really sure what to do. So, I pushed him toward the floor, and told him that he could eat with his hands. Originally, when we had talked about this behavior, my plan was to have him on his hands and knees with his face in the bowl, but I could see that we were not really ready to go there yet. pet sat in the floor, in his little French maid's uniform, with his lipstick on, and ate with this fingers, out of a dog bowl, in the floor, while I ate my breakfast at the table, with him at my feet.

We finished our breakfast, and then it was time for pet to do my toes. he did a lovely job with the pedicure, painted my nails a lovely shade of pink, and they look great : ) It was a wonderful sight, pet sitting on a little stool at my feet, in his outfit, painting my toes : ) In between coats I would allow to pet lay on top of me and rub himself against me, he was still VERY hard. It was hot!!

After toes were done, we rested a little together and then it was time to get dressed for the day. We had some furniture to move, and lunch with my sister and her boyfriend. The moving went well, and the lunch was very enjoyable : )

Back to my house we took a little nap....then it was time for pet to got get his oldest from her mother's, so we parted ways. I thought of going over to pet's last night, but wanted to get a jump on this day and already be at home this morning. I will spend the night over there tonight. His eldest was looking for me last night, and I promised to come over today and cook some dinner and spend some time with her, she seemed very happy about that : )

So, this post out of the way, I am off to look for a job, fill out some needed paperwork, and start a few projects that I need to get rolling with.

All in all it was a wonderful weekend, with some much-needed intimacy for pet and I. We discussed it later, that we both needed the events of the weekend, and we both got what we needed.

Nothing wrong with switching it up every now and then......

: )

Take care all, and have a GREAT day! I know my happy thoughts about this weekend will help me do that today...

-D

Getting Out

2011-05-04T17:45:00.000-07:00

Well, I did it. I quit my job. I don't have another one. And yes, in this economy, it was a stupid thing to do. I own it. pet is very worried about my finances and how I will make it going forward, he is upset because he knows that he can't help me really, he just does not have the finances, and I don't expect his help.

I have a few ideas on how I can get by. Of course, most disturbing is the lack of medical benefits. I have called the Dr. and gotten 90 days of my meds, so I am good there. I am doing some searching on the web for what I might want to do.

Realization: Just because you are good at something does not mean that you should do it. Yep, there is it. I DON'T like what I do. I am good at it, yes. Actually, I am not even sure about that anymore. I am good at managing massive amounts of information. And that's ok, but I really don't like what I do anymore, at all. I could care less about the outcome of my few projects that I have in the works. Although, I am working hard to clean things up, I hate to leave a mess for someone else to clean up. So I am not slacking at work. Not at all.

I think I am having something of a mid-life crisis. All I want to do is beat submissives and fuck. lol : )

Horny all the time, want pet all the time, and feeling very aggressive. I have been going through the change for a number of years now, so it's not that. I just REALLY don't like what I do anymore. I don't want to work in Corporate America anymore, and I want to work from home really bad. I am tired of the office environment, office politics, etc. I really hate it, tired of the gossip. all that shit, I am just over it. I need a break. I am a good person and I keep getting caught up in bad situations at work.

So....I don't want to work with real live people anymore. On the phone, fine, on conference calls, fine. I just want the day-to-day interaction anymore. It just causes problems. I try to care about my co-workers and it totally backfires on me. Ugh. I am over it.

On the upside, my boss keeping telling me that I can "change my mind" anytime that I want to, he mentions it every day. I don't think I will. I am so relived to be getting out, moving on with my life, wanting to find something to do that I love, that I am passionate about. Like I said, I have a few ideas. But, it certainly is nice that he thinks that much of me and my work. Of course, I know that it is a real pain for him to find someone to replace me, so there is that as well.

The wonderful thing is, as always, pet is VERY supportive. he is worried about my finances, true, but he supports my ideas for entrepreneurial ventures, and is working to help me all that he can : ) I am so proud of him, and love him so very much.

I am now starting to look forward to my evenings and weekends more. I can't wait to spend some real time with pet, his kids, and my family. It is important for me to be with my sister now, and I will do that. She needs me.

So, that is the big news. Keep an eye for more posts as I have more time on my hands. Until the money runs out, I should be in a REALLY good mood!! : )

-D

A Little Update

2011-04-15T20:49:00.002-07:00

Our apologies dear readers, life it just too hectic for words right now...although I will just to put some to it.

Well the last 6 weeks or so have been a real challenge, here's what's going on.

1) Work for me, still pretty rough, while I finally got some help, my help is kind of sub-standard and is more of a drag on me than anything else. Sigh. Oh well, you can't win 'em all. I am supposed to have a temp starting next week to help me with some of the admin stuff, but that means reviewing resumes and working through the temp company, etc. No real time for that, but I guess I need to make time, huh? I am still overwhelmed most days, and my team has started sniping at each other as we are all just tired and worn out with the start up with this account. Everyone is trying to tow the company line and say it will get better, but that line sure is getting tired....BUT I have a job, and a good paycheck, and I need to be grateful. If I fail it sure won't be from lack of trying.

2) Work for pet, also hectic, pet is finishing up his budget season, which is his busiest time of the year. As always, he handles things in stride.

3) pet's oldest continues to struggle with school and we have spent the last 5 weeks or so with no time alone, trying to help her through her classes. It is very frustrating as some of the issues are due to just sheer laziness, but oh well. I am not sure what to do with her, and neither is pet, so we just keep trying our best. Her efforts, or lack thereof, have kept us from having any alone time (she has been grounded because of grades) and that wears on us as well.

4) On Wednesday, pet and I celebrated our year anniversary of being engaged. A bittersweet celebration as we are definitely not any closer to getting married that we were a year ago, but we did manage some alone time, and some hot sex on Wednesday night.

5) pet's youngest is becoming quite the teen-ager. Her first actual date is looming next week, she is 13, and full of excitement about boys. It is awful cute : ) I took her and one her friends shopping tonight, and while I am exhausted, it was wonderful to listen to all of their excitement about boys, and chatter about friends and school. Reminds me of a simpler time.

6) My brother in law is very ill, colo-rectal cancer, Stage 4, and has been in the hospital for about 7 days. The cancer has spread all through his liver now, and his prognosis is not good, of course. We are managing, and I am doing my best to support my sister, but it is a difficult time, and I really don't know what else to say about that....

7) pet's almost-ex continues to be a challenge, she is again, at odds with the oldest, that seems a terminal and hopeless situation. The oldest is talking about now going to "no visitation at all," with her mother, the next time we go back to court in June. Sigh. I wish their relationship was better, and believe it or not, I do try to encourage it, but the woman just does things to make it worse all the time. Yesterday, she yet again "broke in" to pet's house and took many of our personal, sexual things that were very well hidden in pet's bedroom. Seems she has once again managed to have a key made (although pet has changed the locks 4 or 5 times now). Next pet will move to a combination door lock, that may or may not stop her. pet and I had just purchased some new panties, cock rings, etc, for him, just last week, and all of that is gone. Oh well. What's done is done, I don't even have the energy to be angry anymore.

8) pet's submission to me continues to grow, which would be a wonderful thing, if I had the energy to be Dominant and take advantage of it. I try, but it is just not in me right now. I know that my behavior is disappointing to pet, but with all that is going on, I just can't seem to find a good Domme place. I did do a good job of slapping him around, and forcing him down on the bed an eating his asshole the other night, I made him eat my pussy and he hungrily ate my ass. Our lovemaking was hot, as always, but pet needs more that I cannot give him right now. I just can't.

9) pet has recently admitted to me that he believes now that he is bisexual, something I have suspected for years now, as his desire to suck cock and get fucked up the ass by a man grow stronger all the time. he says it is for me, that he would do it to show his submission, but I really think that those are his desires, and his desires alone. he gets very hard when we speak of it, actually much harder than he does when he just thinks of me, so while it is hot, it is also a little disturbing. Anyway, pet and I are talking about that, and exploring some ideas around that, more to come on that later.

10) We did try some of our recently purchased toys the other night: a strapless dildo, so that I could fuck pet, and he wore a "double penetrating" device around his cock. Unfortunately both tries were pretty miserable failures. The strapless dildo was too big for me to insert, I am pretty small, vaginally, I suppose I could get used to it, but it sure did not work the first time around. The double penetrator was too big for my ass as well. Even with tons of lube on both we just could not make it work, and gave up. I know that pet is disappointed that I did not fuck him, I wanted to, it just would not work. Ugh.

So, there you have it, there's your briefing on D&a. Busy weekend ahead, pet's youngest is having a party tomorrow night, about 14 teen-agers at pet's house. he and I will chaperon, as I have been officially "invited" by his youngest, and we shopped for an outfit for her tonight. She is becoming quite the young lady and I am very proud of her : ) My brother-in-law came home from the hospital late tonight so I will go to my sister's and try to help them out as well. What I am NOT doing this weekend is working. I refuse. I have worked the last 8 or 9 weekends, and have only been on the job for 12 weeks. Ridiculous, and I am just NOT doing it this weekend. They can all go fly a kite. I am exhausted, and somewhere in this weekend I need to get some rest. God help me I do.

Take care all and a happy weekend to you-

D

Hot Fantasy Time at the OK Corral

2011-03-27T11:45:00.001-07:00

Dear wonderful readers:

An apology from me here please. Reading back through older posts I realize that I sound like a whiny bitch. Well, I can't say that it's not true, because that's kind of how I feel right now, but that is what it is I guess. Hopefully things will get better in the next few weeks.

Yesterday morning, I woke early and was very productive. Dishes got done, trash got taken out, laundry got started, bed made, etc, etc. Surprising sometimes how the little things, just taking care of some house chores can make you feel better. After I had been busy, I laid down for a few minutes, and a wave of horny for my pet just rolled over me.

So, I decided to spend a little time playing with myself. At first, I was just going to give myself a quickie orgasm and then move on with my day. However, the more I touched myself, the hotter I got. My mind started to reel with thoughts of my pet. pet inside me, pet on top of me, pet fucking me from behind, pet eating my pussy, pet playing with my clit, pet's face all covered with my hot, sweet, juice. All good, good stuff! Before I knew it, I had cum 6 times! Each one better than the last!

I miss holding him and being with him so much. Having him inside me. I think I will head over to pet's house to stay the night tonight. Even though it is a "school" night, I have done some work today, which I feel pretty good about, I only have one meeting tomorrow, and if I lay my clothes out tonight it should not be that big of a deal to drive home from pet's tomorrow morning : ) He is going out of a town for a few days next weekend, for work, and so we will miss even more time together : (

I find myself waking in the morning grinding my hips in the air, missing him. As I lose weight, I find that I feel sexier and more desirable. pet has been most complimentary of my weight loss, and is horny as all get out it seems : ) Maybe, just maybe, if we are not too tired, we could make some hot love tonight!! That would be great! It has been several weeks, or it feels that way anyway.....ugh....

Thanks all, and I will try to post some more "hot" posts this week!

-D

Running on Empty

2011-03-27T04:58:00.000-07:00

Well, well dear readers, this past week has been Mr. Toad's Wild Ride!

After an almost near walk-out on my part at the new job, the powers-that-be have finally witnessed my frustration and agreed to get me some help. Seems like they finally see that it is not possible for one person to do the job of 4 people when getting an account off the ground! Amazing....

Anyway, the Calvary is supposed to be coming next week in the form of another full-time resource that does what I do, and a temp, clerical/admin type person to take care of all the tactical things that I cannot get to right now. Of course that requires the managing of the workload on my part, but if I can get through it, I may just live. Still sending our resumes in case things don't work out, but for now, I still have a paycheck. I was seriously going to quit on Monday when my boss got back into town, no other job, and no prospects. It was THAT bad. In this economy that would have been the kiss of death, to be sure. anthony, God bless him, remained calm while I completely lost my shit on Thursday. I called my mother asked if she could lend me some money, I contacted a friend about some contract work, I was really losing it. I am still under alot of stress and pressure, but I have a little hope now. We will see how next week goes, another presentation to the Client, but not as big, and hopefully, not as bad. Wish me luck!

As stated, my love remained calm in the face of possible financial disaster for us, God knows there are enough people in our lives NOT working and on the brink of being homeless.....but that is another story for another day. Crisis averted for now, the paycheck is still coming in.

The week started off with a bang. Court on Monday. My anthony and his oldest "K," were nearly late to court, and he barely walked in on time to appear in front of the judge. I WAS late, which I feel rotten about, but I got turned around, and was unfamiliar with the directions as I was coming from the new job. Turns out, that it was just a docket call appearance for the real trial anyway, and we have been scheduled for late June. That's right dear readers, 3 more months of waiting to see how our lives are going to pan out. Sigh. BUT, pet and K and I had a nice late lunch, and some dessert later, and K told me later that it was really nice to spend the afternoon with us (pet and I had to take off half a day from work for this.)

Bad week for all of us, me, pet, and K. It also turns out that K has a TON of homework that has not been done, and the grading period ends on Wednesday. Sigh. The child lacks any sort of organization and planning skills, and there is just too much work to be caught up on to actually get it all done by next Wednesday. All of us have been hitting hard this week, I have been assisting her with French, and pet with her Algebra. Both pet and I are very rusty, but we seem to be getting through and muddling through all of the assignments. She also has assignments to make up for in Biology and Art and English, due to a nasty bout with the flu last week, but these other assignments are just sheer laziness, and her being afraid that the subjects are too hard, and that she is "stupid."

Obviously pet and I are doing all the WE can raise her self-esteem, but it is tough, especially when sometimes she just will not try. Very frustrating.

So, because of all her back assignments, and now her mother is checking on her grades (because of her anger at the way court turned out), she stayed at pet's this weekend so that we could help her with her assignments. So our weekend got hosed, yet again.

pet and I had originally planned to go out of town this weekend. We knew that court would be rough on us, no matter how things turned out, and we knew we would need some time away. Alas, this was not to be. And while I certainly understand pet's need to make sure that his child passes, I can't help but be a little resentful that the kid did not get her work done as she was supposed to. Selfish? Yes, it is, I own it. I am mad at a 16-year old girl for ruining my weekend with her father. Ah well, it is what it is, and I am trying to be as supportive as I can be. Sometimes though, when she gets attitude, or looks miserable, it is all I can do not to say "well, you did this to yourself, and in the process hosed your father and I out of any alone time we would have this month." But, I keep my thoughts in check, and just try to help.

We had planned a very big D/s sexy weekend this weekend, and oh well. Kind of hard to do that in the middle of French and Math assignments. We are just not in the right head space, imagine that : )haha

pet informed me today that his cock ring fell off on Friday, and he has little hope of finding it. Sigh. Oh well. I am irritated at just finding this out now, and pet will be punished for not telling me in a timely fashion, and losing his cock ring. But, that will just have to wait, God knows when we will get any time alone for the punishment to actually occur. Pet is out of town next weekend on business, maybe the weekend after that. Who knows. Time seems to be a real problem for us right now. I hope it gets better soon. I miss him : (

-D

"Your love must be so strong...."

2011-03-20T05:40:00.000-07:00

So, after my last two posts are pretty much nothing but stress, whining, and complaining, I feel I should post something good.

pet took his family out to dinner on Friday night, and I did not think he needed another mouth to feed, as he was already feeding his parents, his kids, his brother, and his brother's two kids. A note here about pet's brother, he does not work, and has not, as near as I can tell, in about 7 years. I don't know why he does not work and noone can seem to tell me. He lives in a property that pet's parents own with no water service as the water service has been cut off. Every Sunday he takes his 2 kids over to his parents house to be fed and spend time with them in a place that has water service (well, for now.) pet's parents has supported his brother for years, I don't know why, and noone can seem to answer that, or even discuss it.

Anyway, I elected not to go to this family dinner, and instead, spent some time on the phone with a friend that I have not talked to in awhile. She was wonderful and let me vent, and asked about pet, his kids, how things were going, etc. After I had dumped all over her about the drama that is our lives right now, she grew very quiet and said very simply "your love for each other must be so strong to carry you through all of this together."

And with that simple statement, my heart grew a little lighter, for the moment. It is true, I love pet with all of my heart and I know that he loves me. With all that we have going on, and with all that we have been through and survived thus far, we still love each other and want to be together. And we still manage to have a good time when we are together most of the time : ) We enjoy each other, and make each other smile and laugh, even in the worst of times. We love his children, and love spending time together as a family. When I really think about it, we are SO lucky to have found each other and be together.

I love him, so much, and I know that he loves me as well. Although our lives are hard, and there are people thwarting our being together at every turn, we are still managing to be together and enjoy our lives together : ) he makes me smile, supports me, and takes care of my needs the best he can. Do I wish we had more time together? yes, do I wish things were different for us? yes, but do I wish that so much that I want to move on to someone else? Never, not on your life. I love that man with all of my heart and would not trade him for anything in this world. Am I frustrated sometimes? yes, very much so. But that never changes my love for him, or my desire for him. Ever.

So, this is one of those periods when our D/s is kind of back-burnered. We want to get through court tomorrow, and then see how we feel about things. I have asked pet to plan a weekend out of town for us this coming weekend. I think we need a good break from everything and everyone, and I am going to do my best NOT to have to work next weekend. pet has promised to try and get the whole weekend, meaning Friday night as well, so we will see how that goes.....

And yes, our love is SO strong, and grows more so each and every day-

-D

Full Moon and the shit that comes before and after....

2011-03-20T05:02:00.000-07:00

Well, for those of you that follow our blog you know that I am fan of Wicca and things that are spiritual in nature. That being said, I DO BELIEVE that a full moon really fucks with people. Certain people especially. I am one of them.

Last week was a really rough week at work, one thing and another, I am getting further and further behind with little hope of ever catching up. I am doing the job of 4 people, literally, there were supposed to be 4 people on my team, and it got cut down to one person in negotiations for the contract. While everyone acknowledges that I have too much to do, noone seems to be willing to do anything about it, and one of two things will happen now 1) I will fail, and get fired or 2) I will fail and they will get me some much needed help. Neither one of those options appeal to me, but I have only been on the job 9 weeks, and I am working all the time, evenings, weekends, I am exhausted all the time, with no end in sight for rest of this year, at least. One of the folks on the leadership team with me quit this week, walked out, no job, and he has a family...that tells you the kind of pressure that we are under to get things done on this account.

That being said, pet has been wonderfully supportive about trying to help me get through this very difficult period. He even supports me if I have to walk out with no other job. With the economy being the way that it is, that is much too risky, and honestly, I would rather get fired so that I can file for unemployment. However, none of these options is appealing to me, at all. I am not one prone to failure, and the idea makes me sick to my stomach, but, it is what it is.

If nothing else, this job has taught me what I value most in life. I want to be with pet and his kids, I want to spend much family time with them, and with my own family as well. I don't want to work all the time, and I want a work-life balance. So, that being said, I think I need to change jobs, if I can, and will start looking. Normally, I am not a quitter, but I think you have to know when you are licked, and I am old enough now to know when I am licked. So there you go. Right now, as I type this, I am putting off doing some much needed work. Sigh. I will get to that later on today. I have made a deal with myself that I will start at noon.

Anyway, so that has been my life of late. pet's oldest has been very, very sick with the flu, poor thing, but is finally on the comeback trail, so that's good.

pet's parent's are in dire financial straits now and their utilities are being cut off now, one by one. I know that pet is devastated not to be able to assist them, and he has, as much as he can. Putting gas in their vehicles, feeding them when he can. However, they have made some very, very poor financial decisions, and continue to do so. They will not listen to his sounds advice. Their answer to everything seems to be to have pet take care of things by buying this additional property that they own. pet has much child support and spousal support to pay, and cannot do that for them right now. We can't even do it together, I am recovering from some financial set-backs right now, and pet and I still can't live together to consolidate our finances, but that's a whole other story. So things are very tough on pet as well right now.

Additionally, we have court again tomorrow. As previously stated, the kids' mother has appealed both decisions that we won last time. Custody of his oldest, and overnights for pet and I when he has the kids. So, his oldest and I spent some time yesterday shopping for a court outfit for her. She picked out a lovely dress and shoes, very appropriate and she looks very nice in the outfit : ) I had intended to buy myself a new outfit for court as well, but can't really afford that right now, and I want his oldest to feel very confident and sure of herself tomorrow, and for most women, nothing does that like a new outfit that you feel good about it : ) She is happy with it, and was smiling when she saw herself, THAT, my friends, makes my heart light, I love her so much. We enjoyed a nice day of shopping together, and a nice lunch. We talked about many things, and I enjoyed my time with her : )

When I think about the money this woman (the kids' mother) has cost us fighting us over us being able to be together, it makes me ill. pet is about out of his retainer for his attorney (tomorrow's court date will finish that off) and she told his oldest that she will "keep filing appeals until they (he and I) can't be together." That gives us some hope for the future huh? Not...

I have no idea where she is getting the money for her legal fees, but whatever. I don't even care anymore. Her car blew up a few weeks and she now has a car that she and pet still owned together, but that needed about $900 worth of work to make it road-worthy. pet informed her that he could not, and would not, assist her with fixing that car, and somehow she managed to find the money. I have no idea, don't ask me where she gets it, but good for her I guess. Oh yeah, she did manage to forge pet's name on a check that came to both of them, and cash it, so I guess that's where part of it came from. Bully for her. That woman is nutty as a fruitcake, and now, obviously is a thief and a forger.

Forgive me for putting pet's business in the street like this, but I am frustrated and angry for him. God love him, he takes it all in stride, and keep pushing forward in his efforts. And I KNOW it must be unbelievable to him at times that this keeps going on with no end in sight. Sigh............

So, moving on, court is tomorrow, and we are not at all sure what will happen. I honestly believe that the custody issue will remain the same for his oldest, and I pray that it does. However, the overnights for us could be a problem. Sigh..........fingers crossed.

More to come in a bit-

-D

Well, that didn't work out.....

2011-03-20T04:54:00.000-07:00

Ok, so for all of your wonderful readers that have been following our blog, you are aware that pet and I were looking at bringing another submissive into our relationship, well, that did not really work out.

Turns out that "e," needed to re-arrange his schedule of servicing me due to some commitments he had with his children, and anyone that follows our blog knows that pet and I value children above any and all else, so I completely understand his commitments. e has kindly offered to take pet and I out to a lovely dinner so that we can all get to know each other, and that would be great. So...while it is off the table right now, maybe some time in the future.

To be honest, I think we were all having some doubts about embarking on this new dimension of our relationship, so perhaps now was not the time to undertake this type of thing, so perhaps things all worked out as they were supposed to, and things are as they are supposed to be. So there you go.

So, for all of your wonderful readers who expressed a great concern at pet and I moving into this new phase of our lives, take heart, pet and I are still completely monogamous, no "extras" in our lives right now. That does not mean that we are completely letting go of the concept for the future, but that effort is put on pause.

Probably better for now, pet and I have been under much stress the last few weeks and now is not the time to mess with the stability that is our relationship I don't think. More to come on that later-

All for now-

D

anthony’s perspective on the “New Dimension” – Part II

2011-03-12T10:35:00.000-08:00

Domina was trying to figure out what the allure of cuckolding is for me. I floundered with the answer. She could not fathom why I would find it exciting to see another man touching her, possibly inside of her. She would abhor the idea of seeing me with another woman and can’t fathom why I would be different. I have really had to put my thinking cap on about this because I wasn’t really able to answer the questions posed to myself let alone her. My confusion I think was based on the fact that this isn’t a sexual fantasy of mine but a submissive one.

To sum it all up, I think there is a one word answer that describes it best: humiliation. As described in Part I of this story, Domina may seek sexual release at any time she wishes. On the other hand, I’m expected to satisfy her and suffer sexual denial without complaint. It usually leads to her sleeping soundly while I’m typically allowed to bring myself down with masturbation until I finally give way to slumber. That my friends is humiliating. It has a sacrificial element while being a sign of respectful to my dearest love. It is emasculating. For that matter, so are the panties I wear. So are all the steps we have taken to feminize me. So is are the times she dresses me up and makes me look at myself in a mirror of shame. So is propping my ass up in the air so that it may be beaten. In this same vein, what is more humiliating than being cuckolded?

Humiliation sends me into a deep subspace. I’m the most malleable. I’m helplessly obedient which is the focus of our D/s relationship. I’ve been in so much subspace the last few days my head is spinning. Please understand, I’ve not been pushing to be cuckolded though I have initiated the talk of such. I’m not convinced it will really ever happen and if not it’s ok. But the power of recognizing and accepting fully that she has the rights of complete sexual liberation is intoxicating and has been enough to push me to new levels of submission. I think that’s kind of where we are right now. We are both trying to really absorb this as it is really a lot to get both our brains around. And you must also realize too that though I’ve framed this conversation in a sexual context, it’s more encompassing and, likely less extreme than I have approached the topic. Domina wants another submissive. That has way more many strings that just the sexual ones.

Returning back to where we left off last post, after the more heated aspects of our dinner date were over, our conversations began to turn back to their normal loving and supportive ways. Domina was very eloquent and I was most proud of her for being able to tell me her desires. Sex and the expression of her dominance aren’t a pastime. She was quite clear in that they are needs. We then had a serious talk about meeting those needs and empowering her further. We made love. In fact, we’ve made time to make love every day since.

All hunky dory now you ask? Well… not exactly. We both have our apprehensions. First off let’s talk about Domina. As you may know she is divorced, and from as much as I can tell from a nicest of guys. However she was deeply unsatisfied in their union and he wouldn’t meet those needs. Despite all the work they put into their marriage, it didn’t happen. After years of anguish, she chose to end their marriage rather than succumb to the temptations of infidelity. (Didn’t I tell you how honorable she is?) Well, introducing a new sub to a virtuous woman as Domina comes with a tinge of guilt. She’s known other woman with multiple subs. She has a childhood friend who is a swinger. Still, there is a little voice in her head that says to tread lightly no matter how much we talk about it. And it’s not just about how she will react. How will I react? What if despite all the talk I have of giving and empowering her I can’t deal with it? It is perfectly clear now. She would like to have multiple men pampering her. She has said herself how she likes the idea of watching me hard and frustrated while she is being pleasured my another. I felt the rush of wetness within her loins while we made love when she told me of desires to have other men submit to her and please her. But God bless her, she loves me. And no desire is worth risking that precious love in her mind.

On to me, my apprehensions are a little different. I don’t believe my love for her will be jeopardized at all. The fact that she has been fearful in the past proves to me her love and that I am her priority. This merely encourages me more to fulfill her desires and submit more deeply. But still, it is an admission that I’m not able to satisfy my love on my own even if it is really just about my schedule with the children and lack of availability. (as the scheduling issues, cast fault or not, are all on my side of the table) I know I will need a lot of “I love you” and reassurance that I truly am the man that she wants and desires over all others. I’ve chatted with other men that are cuckolded in the past. One guy was all messed up because his woman started dating and having a relationship he was excluded from. I told him he needed to grow a backbone because being a submissive isn’t the same as being an unloved doormat. Honestly, I didn’t understand at the time what a gift he was trying to offer. Now I do but I also realize it takes a mature relationship to go there.

There is also another issue. It is that I will be changed. Once cuckolded, it not one of those things that can be taken back. Once those floodgates are opened, I doubt there will be turning back and it will be a lifestyle adjustment. Unlike the physical signs such as the cock ring and panties I wear everyday, the irremovable mantle of being a cuckold will drape over me and be seen by all those that are in the know of our personal lives.

The other day we were making love. Having not cum in a good month or so, I was having trouble controlling myself. When my pace slackened, Domina’s heels kicked into me as if she was riding a horse. “Can’t you fuck me any better than that? This is why I need another man!” is what she told me. Immediately there was a fresh rush of wetness between her legs as she excited herself. She chided me because at that same moment my erection bulged within her. Putting the fun and games aside, it’s really just a matter of love. I love Domina enough that I want to empower her and know that I will stand by her. I need Domina to take this as an offering of love and in return love me more than ever and reassure me I am indeed the love of her life.

anthony’s perspective on the “New Dimension” – Part I

2011-03-10T16:59:00.000-08:00

The last several days had been so intense. This was the third night in a row that we had made hot love. Each night she grew stronger and more domineering. Each night I became weaker and more docile to her desires. I could see the power in her eyes building and pressure of her energy seeking an escape from her body. She gasped at the thrill of exercising power as she slapped me across my face. I collapsed against her. My hips never ceasing their circular routes I made love to her while on the verge of orgasm. Desperately I kissed and suckled her naked breasts.

“Did you ask permission to do that?” she called to me in a heavy breath.

“No Ma’am” I replied in a frantic tone.

Like a race horse I had learned to set a pace. As I gained control over my body’s urgency to cum, I settled into a slow and rhythmic pace. Saving up my energy for the finish, I started to crash my hips into forcefully as she gave off the signs she was near climax. She screamed in pleasure with each wave of orgasm. I hadn’t counted, but I think it was her 9th or 10th in 3 days.

Spent from her sexual exploits, I exited her after some time had passed and covered us under the blankets. Her back to me she spoke in a weary voice. “Would you like to beat it?”

“Yes, please.”

“You may.”

Like a runner off the block, I started masturbating at full speed. The sexual tension was too much and within moments I had to slow way down. The movement triggered a spark of interest in her and she rolled over to peel away the covers from my body. I was hard and dripping wet as she examined my unsatisfied erection. And giving off a brief smile, she nestled up next to me and drifted off to sleep…

As I sat there stroking myself, I felt the disparity of our positions. She was satiated and empowered. I felt the humiliation of submission. This is not a new predicament I find myself in. But as the days turn into weeks and weeks turn into months, this situation is losing most of the kink edge it had and is not evolved into a lifestyle of unbridled inferiority. I almost laugh at how it was when we first dated and she felt a twinge of guilt if I didn’t cum. the tables have turned and I feel shame and guilt if I do.

So you are sitting there reading this and asking yourself, what the hell kind of response is this to Domina’s “New Dimension” post? Well, my voyeuristic friends, read on.

Domina and I had a small fight last weekend. The preliminary details are not of importance. Let’s just say, as explained in my post entitled “Missed You”. I was overwhelmed and couldn’t take another kick. And when I blew a gasket, Domina did as well. (And rightfully so I will add) We’ve both been under so much stress. So Saturday night we made a dinner date to kind of rekindle or spirits. I had done a good job at cleaning her house and running some errands for her earlier. So when she said she had said before that she had some “freaky” things to discuss with me, I thought maybe there was some reward in there or perhaps she wanted to talk about my ideas for recommitting our D/s plans. Anyway, I wasn’t going to push it and by the time we got to dinner, I didn’t really even think there was anything freaky slated to talk about. Our stresses still seemed to dominate the conversation.

Well, it was in the midst of this very serious talk that she asserts to me her needs are not being met. She’s horny all the time and needs more sexual and dominant outlets. And as I have the kid full time and a crazy ex that disrupts my household, she would have to solve these problems on her own. The talk went on a while and I was not feeling good. I finally asked what she proposed to do and she did it. She told me that she was going to look into getting another submissive. I was quite shocked to say the least. On the one hand she always has had reservations about introducing 3rd parties. And I, who even originated the idea of cuckolding, didn’t take it very well. What can I say? I was down right depressed. But don’t get me wrong, it wasn’t about the thought of Domina telling me she wanted another submissive. The problem started with all the other stressors. I spent a day feeling a failure in all the things I ‘m supposed to be in control of as a strong man. And now, that part of me that is supposed to be the weak submissive has failed to satisfy my Mistress. I was losing on all fronts and it appears the weary resign glaringly shown from my face!

To be continued…

The Roller Coaster

2011-03-10T16:58:00.000-08:00

Now that we are caught up in the background, let’s focus a little more on how things have been going with Domina and me. Overall, the last month seemed to be really great between us. Domina has been under a great deal of pressure lately. With her new job, she has had a lot of demands the uncertainty of uncharted waters. But we faced it together as a team. If you scroll back a few posts she really flowered me with glowing praise for the support and assistance I’ve given her. It was truly rewarding being able to help put in a few late nights with her as we learned some new software skills. In all that time we stubbed our toes on one hard stumbling block. It was a Saturday night and we were going out to dinner. I had a great day accomplishing a lot of things at home and taking care of some errands for Domina. Then it happened… she wanted to know what panties I had on. It wasn’t as if I was wearing men’s underwear, I simply didn’t have anything on. She was shocked and hurt because her expectation isn’t the rejection of boxers, it’s that I be in panties every day when I leave the house. To a non D/s couple, it may seem absolutely silly. But for those of you who really understand, it was a serious incident. Domina had been grappling with work issues and depending on not only my support, but my compliance. When I’m obedient, it helps provide her a foundation of control and self assurance. No matter what havoc there might be in outside forces, it’s like the security of home to know your man is doing what he is told.

I apologized and tried to reassure her it was an isolated incident. But the damage was done. I had planted a seed of doubt. The truth is that with the pressures all about us and kids being near omnipresent it seems, it has been difficult maintaining a level of D/s. Despite all that, I’ve also been feeling myself falling deeper in love with Domina as we had been so close in our partnered efforts. Despite how it looked at that moment, as my love was deepening so were my desires to express that love submissively.

See if this sounds familiar to any of you our there when the D/s drops off: D/s is supposed to infuse energy into a relationship. If she has a lot of things going on outside the relationship, she must actually expend energy to be a hard disciplinarian. So that’s no good. And if he isn’t obedient during these hard times, she gets frustrated and thinks he doesn’t have interest. On the converse, living a submissive lifestyle is constant effort. To the fragile submissive mind, the man needs fairly regular reassurance that he’s doing a good job. If he goes for long periods of time without interaction form his dominant, he will begin to feel doubt in himself and think maybe she has lost interest in him. In actuality, both perspectives are inaccurate and both Domme and sub are still committed. The former just needs more reassurance and the latter just needs more support. Bottom line is, no matter who is in charge, both parties in a relationship have a responsibility to one another.

It was pretty bad for a day or two. I wasn’t trying to be disobedient, but I was callous in not making my directives a priority on a lazy day working around the house. My disobedience was having the opposite effect from where my heart was aching to go. So Monday, on my lunch break at work, I mapped out a D/s project plan. Silly? Well, maybe. But I wanted Domina to know my sincerity in redoubling my submissive efforts. And as she often tells me the perils of doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results, I wanted her to know where I knew my shortcomings as a submissive and how we together could do things a little differently to make better results going forward.

There is also one other element in this that needs to be stated. It’s the element of challenge. If you want your D/s to keep recharging you as a couple, I think it’s a valid statement to say that things should not stay static. Once you reach deeper levels of expression, don’t you crave more? Don’t you like the idea of having to reach a little farther and not get to comfortable where you are? Your D/s relationship in some terms can be viewed as the hobby/project that you work together at. So doesn’t it make sense to vision what your fully blossomed D/s relationship should evolve into being so you can actively plan and grow it in the correct direction?

Easier said than done of course! I’m good at the art pontification. Domina and I have not discussed the work together yet. With lingering matters with the soon to be ex, full time custody of my oldest daughter, further court appeals on the horizon, and family strife galore, perhaps my designs are truly too lofty at this moment. Time will tell.

Missed You

2011-03-10T16:56:00.000-08:00

First, I offer a hearty greeting to our followers. It’s been a while since I posted and there is much to make up for. As is customary with me when I’ve been remiss, I tend to come back full steam with the multi-part story posts because there is much to be said and a desire not to be too overwhelming. It’s an interesting forum trying to engage a community of people with similar interests in randomly posted snippets. And to all the people out there that have left us very kind words of support, we thank you. We try to personally respond to all our comments but often fall short due to time constraints. I’ve attempted to reach out to you all via my smart phone in off hours, but I can’t seem to get the knack of it. Nonetheless, your words are uplifting and it makes us feel good knowing that we have inspired many other couples out there to experiment with their relationships and similarly share with us their experiences with companion blogs.

Second order of business, let’s get into what’s been happening with D and a! I’m in a highly malleable state at the moment, desirous to be shaped and formed in submission. And in this very extreme state of being, it would seem an opportune time to reflect and attempt to convey the feelings and emotions I am going through. As Domina indicated in her last few posts, there has been a lot of strife the last few weeks and a lot of D/s bonding as well. So while the day to day struggles are not always fun, those events often shape the terms of the relationship. So for this post we will start there as we begin to roll things forward.

As our avid readers know, there are documented reasons why Domina and I feel we came to desiring the roles we have taken as dominant and submissive. So to delve into some of those reasons, let’s take a look at my world as of late. My parents are 80ish and way in over their heads in debt. They are very likely to lose everything in the days to come. Part of the blame is because they overextend themselves to care for their other son who does not work and exacerbates their plight. Meanwhile, I have a near ex that lingers on as I try to get her bankrupted as she threatens to rob tens of thousands of family resources. And as an added kick in the pants, my oldest daughter has some resistance to do schoolwork as I begin to vision a fearful nightmare of circular irresponsibility. This doesn’t even cover the headaches at work and struggles to be a good partner and submissive.

To say the least, the last few weeks have been depressing. And it’s given me pause to think again how events in our lives shape us. The fact is we are all leaders and followers given the correct timing and circumstances. I’m spun out because I have to be in charge of everything extraneous to Domina. But to be a leader requires there to be followers. And I’m surrounded by people and family that don’t want to be responsible. Ergo, I’m failing. And worse than failing I internalize guilt of situations I should not even have primary responsibility for. Domina and I well relate to this as she has a mother that has become dependent to a major coronary attack a few years back and two sisters that are not as capable as her to step up to the plate as she is. We are the banks of last resort. We are the responsible ones that bare the burdens others will not.

Remember the movie Shindler’s List? Maybe the most moving moment I’ve had at any movie was the ending scene where the war is over and Author Shindler is looking at his cufflinks and last remaining personal belongings and breaks down crying because he started to calculate how many more people he could have saved. Now, our problems are no where near so extreme that I could suppose to equate the drama I experience to that. But I can understand the emotions. One of the age old struggles we all face is ‘what is the appropriate amount of ourselves to give’ vs. ‘what is the appropriate amount of ourselves to keep’?

I am particularly susceptible to the above described inner conflict. And so now, if you are still with me, the tale comes to its related point. What better way is there for a man who struggles thusly than to have a woman to go home to where he can yield authority and give unconditionally without reserve?

They say that behavior is learned. This is true, but it is within ourselves whether or not we choose to repeat a pattern or go in the opposite direction. I am the antithesis of the environment that produced me. I have a father that is a former alcoholic that comes from a family tradition of disrespecting, and at times, being physically abusive to women. I carried these examples into a marriage that fostered the tenants of sexual repression and closed channels of communication. I want nothing but the opposite of what the majority of my life has been surrounded in. Luckily for me, I found a beautiful dominant woman that meshes with me so perfectly. We are so alike, she and I. Domina is also from a past she often likes to contradict. She had a domineering father figure as a child. She works in business circles that are still often overshadowed with the ‘good old boy’ networks. Her marriage left her feeling sexually unfulfilled and underappreciated. Together we make quite a pair as we work to satisfy each other’s needs physically and emotionally through our relationship based on loving power exchange.

As many of you have noted, we don’t always write about fun and games here. But one thing is for sure, we are 100% real and 100% honest. If you want to have a good relationship, regardless of D/s or not, there are challenges and struggles you have to be open about… though copious amounts of fun and games are required as well for one to maintain sanity!

A New Dimension

2011-03-06T09:11:00.000-08:00

So....

Here is a little something that I thought I would NEVER be posting about. Truly.

Although anthony and I have often spoken of, and toyed with the idea of bringing a third party into our relationship, I am not sure I ever thought it would happen/become real.

In fact, I was convinced of that when we met with our new friends a few weeks ago; and articulated as much, but...things change. And it is a new day.

So, last night, I told anthony that I wanted to bring another submissive into our relationship. My reasons are sound, and between pet and I alone, so I will not discuss them here, but suffice to say that pet has agreed and we are moving forward.

Many, many, months ago, I posted an ad on Craig's list for a playmate for anthony. Kind of a live gay porn show for me to direct, if you will.

I whittled the volunteers down to just two, both wonderful gentlemen. Smart, very smart, accomplished in their fields, and both have very good reasons for maintaining discretion, respectively. I have since lost touch with one of them, but have kept in touch with the other, off and on, these last few months.

He is someone I met in my prior life; when I thought I was a submissive, and he was displaying more dominant tendencies. Funny how things come full circle, huh? He now desires to be more submissive, and I am the dominant one. (insert wry chuckle here).

So, as stated, we have kept in touch off and on, and we have a repore I believe. He has often asked me to dominant him in real time. He has a cyber Domme, but that is just not hitting on all cylinders for him anymore; I am sure you all understand.

pet and I talked deeply last night; made love this morning, and then talked and texted some more, and we are agreed, we shall move forward. However, what I thought was going to be an encounter with just me and Submissive #2, we will call him "e." Turns out, that pet would very much like to be there and participate in the festivities. All well and good with me; as long as I get my jollies, and these two men are hot, hot, hot, so no doubt that that will occur!

"E" is on a bit of a schedule so he can only service me on certain days. Wednesday of this week is the only time that he is available; so, that is when our first "date" has been set. I am not exactly sure how this will go, but I have instructed e not to cum, or have any release of any kind. He is to bring his hood and his lube for our date. He is to shower me with affection and gifts upon his arrival.

pet will help me clean the house and prepare for e's arrival, as is his duty. Again, I am not exactly sure how this will go, but I think the first thing that will happen is that I will have them both strip for my viewing pleasure.

pet will be most embarrassed, I am sure, and I hope that he can maintain his composure and participate, but I am a little worried. pet is a shy one, and I am concerned that this will be a little too much for him, but we will see.

I am a little concerned about how it will effect our relationship, mine and pet's, but pet assures me that he believes it will be like all other new things that we have tried, I will probably experience some guilt and remorse afterwards, but then he will hold me and show me his reassurance and submission, and we will be fine.

I think the only thing to do now is take the plunge!

I am feeling so many things, as is pet. Excitement, a little fear, uncertainty, erotic, horny, so many, many mixed emotions...

Well, I must get some work done, and pet and I are having a date later. He is coming over to bathe me and give me a pedicure; as the weather is warming up and it is almost time for open-toed shoes! Yippee!!

A Happy Sunday to All-

More to cum-

-D

Unsettled

2011-03-02T17:38:00.000-08:00

Ok, so what's wrong with me now right?

Ugh. Big presentation over at work...boss man said it went well, but I sure don't feel good about it, I wanted to ask him if he and I were in the same room? But decided better of it. He seems to think it went well, so um, ok.

Anyway, that was over on Tuesday, and I was looking forward to a quiet day today, but no such luck, got sucked into some shit that I really don't think I should have been involved in, but ok. Anyway, crappy morning, but the afternoon was better, so that was good.

Ok, here's the thing, anthony's oldest is really acting up. Not turning in her school work, failing several classes, has attitude about most things, probably some of it is typical teen-ager but some of it is just....I don't know what.

And here's the really terribly part. I don't want to be around her....at all. I am disappointed in her, hurt by her behavior, and I don't believe that pet is being strong enough with her. I love her, I do, and it's not unconditional, but I just don't want to be around that negativity, the lack of motivation, the lack of ambition.

Selfishly, very selfishly, my new job is taking up so much of my energy and focus that the idea of spending time with someone who does not even care about turning in their homework just sounds counter-productive. But, that's not how I am supposed to feel, right? I love her, and my love is not conditional, I just don't have very much respect for her behavior right now, and what's more, I don't understand it. I don't understand anyone who does not even try to do their best. Or hell, even just try. She can do well when she wants to, she can pull off good grades when she is thusly motivated, but her Dad and I can't promise her trips to the beach with her friends all year, so she is going to have to find it within herself to make the corrections to do well in life.

What's frustrating is I don't know how to help her. We have tried everything, grounding, positive enforcement, negative enforcement, rewards systems, nothing seems to motivate her, and she just does not seem to give a shit. It's like she could care less about making any effort. And I just don't know what to do with that.

As an added bonus, my dog keeps getting out, my fence is broken because he stuck his damn big head through it so many times, and now it needs real fixing. pet says that he will take care of this week, and I hope so. I am tired of chasing him, and having to stand outside while he pees, it's freakin' cold out there.

And I am bothered by my new job a bit. Here's the thing, it's a good job, they pay me well, the people are nice, but I don't know if I really like it. Right now, in this economy, that should not really be important I guess, but I am just worried that I won't like it. Sigh, I don't know. It's only been 6 weeks, guess I should not judge it just yet. Sigh. My new boss is cool, sort of, he is really, really, really smart, and I feel dumb all the time around him, maybe that will change. I don't know yet. I think we are all kind of feeling this way right now, we talk about it sometimes, amongst ourselves, so we shall see.

I feel like a bum compared to everyone else, everyone else is working really hard, and I feel like a slacker, I am working my ass off too, but I still feel stupid. Maybe it is still just new job ickiness. I don't know.

Anyway, I miss pet, we have barely spent any time together lately; the oldest did not go to her mother's last weekend so we did not get our one night every two weeks alone. We keep making dinner plans, but I am still really tired from all the anxiety leading up the presentation, and then the presentation itself. Weeks of anxiety...weeks..I am finally starting to sleep now, but only with pharmaceutical help. Maybe I am just tired, and need some real rest so I can see things clearly. Not sure.

Anyway, hopefully I will get to see pet some in the next few days. I sure am ready for the weekend, and tomorrow is only Thursday. P.S. I am NOT working this weekend, I worked all weekend last weekend.

Take care all-

D

Work, Stress, Work, Stress

2011-02-28T14:10:00.000-08:00

So............that is pretty much what my life has consisted of these last few weeks. I was pretty sure that I was going to fall apart this past weekend, but pet saved me, as per the norm : )

How do I love my pet? Let me count the ways : )

1. he is amazingly supportive of my new role and job; he helps me with my "homework" and helps me understand the accounting things that I don't quite get yet

2. on Saturday, at my request, he came and cleaned my floors, he has no idea what that simple act did for my spirit, I worked all weekend, was frustrated, upset, and scared, that I cannot do this new big job, and just him cleaning the floors, so that I came home to a nice clean house, made all the difference in the world.

3. we are taking turns making dinner, and he is fully supportive of our efforts to eat healthier and be more cost-effective.

4. I have been short on funds this month, because of having to bear the expense of company travel, and other things that have come up, and he has stepped up and lent me some cash as needed, which I paid back right away, and has been very understanding of my funds situation, no complaints, no questions asked, he knows that I make a good living, and sometimes things just happen that make you "short."

5. he wrote a "project plan" for our D/s, upon mutual agreement, I have not had a chance to give it its' full due review, but when I have some time, I will do that. At first glance, it looks quite detailed, and he appears fully-committed to be my willing submissive once again : ) Life stressors and all, have a tendency to put our D/s on the back burner, which we both hate, but it is what it is sometimes.

6. he has made love to me the last two nights. pet does not like to leave his daughter home alone, and I don't like it either, but she is 16, a few hours alone won't kill her, and I needed to be close to him, the last two nights pet has made wonderful love to me, and given me the love, closeness, intimacy, and let's be honest, the stress release that I needed : )

7. pet took care of me last night; I have not been sleeping, so pet made sure that I took the appropriate medication so that I could rest and be prepared for my day today he "put me to bed" as he calls it : ) he was so sweet, loving and caring. Just wonderful.

8. pet seems fully committed to getting out of his marriage, not that he has not always wanted out, but now he is actually making tactical and strategic decisions to get divorced. I am so proud of his thought process and negotiation skills! Very proud of pet!

9. he is standing strong with his oldest daughter, she is making very poor grades in school, and he is setting an example of hard work; and disciplining her accordingly.

God I do love that man, and what a man he is, so strong, attractive, loving, helpful and kind to everyone that he meets.

-D

New Friends

2011-02-21T06:33:00.000-08:00

Good Morning All-

Today is a holiday for me, so I am at home today. It is a good thing as I traveled for work this past and am a bit exhausted.

It was a big weekend for pet and I, although it probably may not seem like it to some.

I got off the plane Saturday morning, raced home to get my paycheck, which is still coming in the mail as my direct deposit has not yet kicked in at the new job, only to discover an issue at the bank, and that I now had no funds for the long weekend, ugh. Ok, recover from that, my ex-husband drops off the dogs, talk to him for a little while, explain my situation to anthony, who, as always, was very sweet and supportive. I was supposed to take his girls out that afternoon for some shopping, but alas, with my money situation, could not : ( So....bad news broken to the kids, they handled it very well, I must say. I decided that I needed to just kind of crash, I was up and at the airport by 6, so by the afternoon I was falling on my face tired.

anthony gave me the space that I needed to recover, and then asked sweetly if I would join him and the kids for dinner at his house. I conceded that I would come over after I took a nice, long, hot bath. The bath really helped. My wonderful girlfriends know how stressed I am right now with the new job, etc, and gave me fantastic bath products for my birthday; I think I used everything that they gave me! : ) All clean and prettied up I went to anthony's for dinner. The kids were happy to see me, in fact, the oldest was supposed to go to a girlfriend's house, but elected to wait until after dinner, when I came over, before she went : ) Gotta like being picked over spending the night with a friend, when she is 16, so that was very nice to hear : )

We had a nice dinner, good talk, and off she went to her friend's house, although she seemed in a questionable mood going over there.....we texted some after that, she explained her issue, which I believe requires a family meeting, and she agreed. I discussed it with anthony and he agreed as well. So, sometime in the next week or so we will all sit down to talk, and get things out in the open. These things must be done sometimes, and anthony and I encourage both girls to communicate openly and honestly with us at all times.

anthony, his youngest and I took in a movie, which was nice : ) I had elected to spend the night at anthony's that night, clearing it with both girls first, so when we got back home, we all just kind of crashed. pet knew I was too tired to make love, or do much of anything, and he blissfully let me sleep. Up and back to my house the next morning to let the dogs out; we had exciting lunch plans that day!: )

Very recently anthony and I have been in contact with another D/s couple who live about 2 hours away. We were contacted by them on CollarMe.com; and had traded some emails before agreeing to meet for lunch. They were passing through town on Sunday and arrangements were made.

anthony and I were both excited, and a bit nervous I think. It is always a bit nerve-wracking when you meet people that you have only conversed with on-line, but meeting D/s folks is probably a bit more so I think.

So, we had talked about if off and on that week, and were both excited at the prospect of meeting new folks that we can be open with and have open discussions with. We love our friends W and j; but one can never have too many D/s friends! : )

So, as we are walking to lunch, holding hands, and happy to be meeting some new people, we chat about how happy we are to be meeting our new friends so quickly, as we had really only been trading emails for a week or two.

We met our friends outside of the restaurant and we all go in and get settled. The conversation seemed to flow pretty easily, and they seem very like-minded to pet and I. We lightly touched on the subjects of submission, Dominance, cuckholding, 24/7, etc. No real deep dives for this first meeting, and I think all were comfortable with the level of the conversation. Or at least I hope so anyway : )

pet and I really enjoyed our time together with them; and wish we could have spent more time talking, but alas, we had kids to pick up and homework to work on. I had promised his oldest some help with an essay that she was writing. So, off we go back to my house, his youngest was already at my house, and he went to pick up the oldest.

He brings the oldest back to my house, and he and the youngest head off to his mother's for dinner. The oldest and I stayed behind to the do essay, and wound up making a pizza together for dinner : ) It was a nice time, and I do so enjoy spending time alone with both of pet's girls : ) The essay got done, so goal accomplished!!

Youngest dropped off at her mother's; pet comes back to gather me and the oldest, and I stayed at his house last night. We tried watching a movie together, but we were all were pretty tired and went to bed pretty early. I knew that pet was horny, but I was tired too, and we went on to sleep.

This morning however, pet woke with a raging hard-on, actually, I am not sure his cock every went down from last night! So, I took full advantage of the situation and shoved pet's head down toward my pussy indicating that he should lick it and get it nice and wet and juicy for our lovemaking that was to follow : ) pet does enjoy eating my pussy and went to work happily : ) I allowed him to enter me not long after that and our lovemaking was sweet, intimate, hot, and very quiet all at the same time : ) haha. It was the first time pet and I have actually made love when one of the kids was home, so I would daresay that we are conquering our hesitation in that area : ) I had a very intense orgasm, with no orgasm for pet, of course : )

pet is very, very, horny today and I have been getting text messages all morning from him about his frantic state. I am technically off from work today, but am working some from home, but will take a break and have lunch with pet in a little while. That will be nice, it has been a few week since we were able to have lunch together. When I used to work from home 2 days per week, we were able to have lunch together all of the time, but now, not so much.

So, a very positive weekend for us, good, quality time spent with the kids, some nice family time, and new friends! We heard from them today, and it sounds as if they enjoyed meeting us as well, and are looking forward to our next outing! This makes pet and I very happy, and I have suggested another lunch soon.

Ok, back to work for me, I need to meet pet soon and must shower and dress as well.

Wishing a lovely week for all-

-D

Some ups, some downs

2011-02-13T19:19:00.000-08:00

Well, the weekend is over, and I feel like it just totally flew by. But as anthony says, "drama will do that."

So yes, we had some drama this weekend with pet's almost-ex. No need for details, suffice to say that she was her usual nutjob self and we paid the price, as did anthony's kids. Sigh.

Anyway; the good news is that the experience just solidified my relationship with his oldest, not that I EVER want to see her upset and crying, never, ever do I want that, but Saturday morning she was so upset that she actually held onto me and cried; I can honestly say that it was the first time that she ever really let me hold her, and she actually cried on my shoulder. That poor kid, I feel so rotten for her, and teared up myself, but she is tough, and made it through her mother's awful antics, and it just brought her closer to her father and I.

So, she made it through that, and actually managed to go over to her mother's, and survived what I can only imagine was a horribly awkward weekend for her.

Her father and I did manage to salvage some of the weekend, our Saturday was kind of shot, from dealing with her emotions and need for us, and she and I spent some time alone before she had to go over to her mother's (by court order.)

anthony and I were both a little down and disturbed; and decided to take a little down time before coming back together for the evening. Since it is our one night to be totally alone every few weeks when both kids' are at their mother's house.

So anthony came back over to my house and we just relaxed together on the bed, him rubbing me, and us holding each other. I am not really sure how we were feeling, things were just kind of rough because of the Friday night drama and leftovers on Saturday morning and afternoon. So, we were kicking around the idea of what to do when I got warm and just decided to get naked.

anthony enjoyed rubbing me all over, and then eventually got naked as well : ) I LOVE his body, he looks SO good. So we started playing around, and I decided to haul out all of our sex toys that we really have not used in months. I emptied everything, the drawers by my bedside, the blue bag we use to travel back and forth between our houses...everything...

So...I decided to tie him up a little : ) I pulled out all my ropes, and tied one ankle to the headboard, and one ankle to the footboard with his legs spread wide open for me. At first, I tied one hand to his cock, and tied his cock up, so he would have to beat himself off while I put stuff up his ass. But then his cock started to turn kind of purple, and it did not look too good, so I undid all that...then I decided to tie one hand to one ankle, and left him that way for awhile while I put everything I could find up his ass. I lubed him up good with ANAL-ESE, and discovered that we were lacking any kind of other lube, bummer.

So....I inserted everything, a few different dildos, vibrating toys, a prostrate stimulator, the handle end of my whip, after I had whipped him lightly, and I made him suck on pretty much everything that I put up his ass, AFTER it had been in his ass, oh well, hope he washed well!!

While I had all sorts of vibrating toys up his ass and on my cock, I crawled on the bed and put a very dark red lipstick on him. He got hotter and even harder when I did this! I loved it!!

My pet does so love to be feminized, although I know that it does embarrass and humiliate him, he loves that too : )

Once I had driven him to the point of crazy, I was all set to make it worse for him : ) All of the things I had inserted in his ass I made him lick clean....dildos, the handle of my whip, etc. And he loved every minute of it given the state of my cock, hahaha. He almost came a few times, but I was quick to rip away the vibrating cock ring that was going to do him in!

All of this went on until poor pet developed what appears to be a reaction to latex, he broke out in this nastey rash on certain parts of his body, and the lube that I was using on his ass made his mouth numb....whoops!! Note to self, don't use that lube THAT way anymore...poor pet said it was like going to the dentist : (

Anyway, somewhere in the midst of all of this I sat on his face, I was very hot and very wet and screamed at him to "eat that pussy like you know how!!" Which, by way, he does, and very well!! So I let him eat me like that for a while and then rolled over and shoved his face down in my pussy for more of my tasty treat : ) I let him make me cum this way, and then I let him beat his cock while I recovered from my screaming orgasm. Good stuff.

Eventually, we drifted off to sleep, but I do remember my lovely pet saying "I have missed this." I know that he meant the intimacy that our D/s brings us, and that makes me smile to think of it, even now. I have missed it so much as well, and was so glad that I had the energy to dominate pet that night. So often lately I have been too tired or worn out to be dominant. I don't care what any Domme says, whether it comes naturally to you or not, it takes energy and effort to be dominant. Sometimes I just don't want to make all the decisions and be in charge. I just don't. If that makes me a bad Domme, oh well, so be it.

The next morning we woke very early and dozed off and on; I was having some anxiety about my new job, but managed to relax some with pet. At some point we decided to make love, and it was wonderful : ) : ) Wonderful, wonderful. I felt so close to pet and so loved and worshipped by him as he was inside me. Our lovemaking was very, very hot, and I came 3 times that morning!! I was very impressed with pet's stamina, very impressed!!

pet, of course, did not cum at all, but I did let him beat my cock after my orgasms were all done. I am kind sometimes : )

Eventually we decided to get up and head out for breakfast. I was RAVENOUS! I have been trying to diet, and have done a pretty good job, and a good job of walking lately, getting in some exercise, which I attribute to the reason that I am feeling better, stronger. and more sexy of late : ) I think pet and I have both benefited from me feeling better about myself, and not being on the road so much.

We ate a good breakfast, stopped at the naughty store to buy some lube (nothing with a numbing agent this time, we learned our lesson quickly) and then did the Fam World Tour. We stopped at my Mom's house for a good, quick visit, and then stopped at his parents house and did the same. Then we had a nice dinner together before he picked up his oldest from her mother's.

All in all, the good this weekend outweighed the bad : ) For sure.

-D

A Disturbance in the Force

2011-01-22T21:43:00.000-08:00

The title of this post is kind of joke, if to no one other than myself.

I am bothered and disturbed by many things today and can't really talk to anyone about them. Sigh. Unfortunately, no one is going to really understand or appreciate why I am bothered, or care, for that matter. I would say that I am depressed, but not really. I woke up in an ok mood, had a brief fight with anthony, but I let that go.

I was quite accomplished today. Dishes, laundry (all the laundry, and there was quite a back-up), ran errands, dropped some things off with friends, and my mother, wrote two posts, etc. Spent some quality time with family tonight, even had dinner with my mother and sister, her boyfriend, and his son. It has been awhile since I did that, on my own anyway.

Tonight I pushed anthony and his kids away, all of them, wish I could explain to you why, but that is personal, and quite honestly, is eating me up inside. I am bothered by some things that occurred today, and really have no one to discuss them with. Even if I did, I am certain I would not get the supportive reaction that I am seeking, so why bother?

Not sure where the day went wrong really, I guess it started off rough and I tried to ignore it. I am trying to stay positive, but sometimes things happen. You can't control other people, or their actions and behaviors. I guess, since I am supposed to be this big, strong, Domme I feel like I ought to be able to control some things some of the time, but there is so much that is completely out of my control, that I am honestly not sure how to deal with it. So many things just don't make good sense to me. And try as I might, I cannot rationalize them. I have no power to change so many things, or effect them at all really, and thus, the trouble sleeping and late hour of this post.

I am uncertain about alot of things tonight. I am turning 41 next week, and I guess that has me thinking about my life as a whole. What do I really have? What have I really accomplished? Not much, that's for sure. I have a shoebox of a house, some credit card debt, a good job that I am scared to death of, a mother who needs help, in all ways, a sister who refuses to work, another sister whose husband is ill and is consistently a basket-case, a relationship with a married man (3 years later), good relationships with his kids, I guess, sometimes.

I feel under appreciated and used I guess right now. I don't feel like I get the recognition that I deserve for all that I do, but I guess that that is a case of the common human condition. Who knows. Rambling, rambling, rambling.

While normally I try to be a positive person, and I try to count my blessings and remember all that is good in my life, some days that is just difficult to do. My knee is acting up this week, and hurts likes the dickens, ice, heat, walking on it, not walking on it, I have tried everything and it still hurts like a bitch and nobody seems to give a flying rat's ass about what I need. I really don't have time for the doctor, having just started a new job and all. And I can't remember the last time that someone did something just nice for me. Something unexpected, something that was just for me, and was appreciative. Whine, whine, whine, I know, would I like some cheese to go with that whine?

My last paycheck from that last job came yesterday, joke that it was, it was about 20% of what I was expecting. Seems somebody forgot to pay out my vacation time. Hmmm.....intentional, perhaps. So on top of everything else that I am dealing with I am going to broke for about 2 weeks until I get the situation resolved. My younger sister had to have a medical procedure last week which wound up costing me $400, which I am supposed to be reimbursed for, but I am not holding my breath on that one, although I could sure use the funds right now. Ugh.

I do things for other people all the time, I give, give, give, and while I know relationships should not be about tit-for-tat, when the hell is somebody going to do something for me? I give all kinds of support, emotional, financial, etc, etc, etc. And yet, I don't remember the last random act of kindness that I was the recipient of, my needs seem to come behind everyone else's. What seems like, all the time.

Yep, whine, whine, whine, more cheese with my whine.

Yep, throwing a pity party for me I guess. I think I am just tired of giving all the time and not being the recipient of, well, anything. I do my best everyday to give those in my life what they need, and I just feel dragged down sometimes. It's never enough, more, more, more. I am the first one to volunteer to help my family or a friend, and I do do it because I want to, because I want to be helpful to those that I love, but at some point, don't you have to take stock of your life and say what is all this giving doing for me?

Some fucking birthday this is going to turn out to be, gee, I just can't wait. Maybe I will just sleep through it and try again next year.

Sigh.

Time to take a pill and crash-

D

Dinner-Postmortum

2011-01-22T07:50:00.000-08:00

As always, we had a great time with our friends W and j last weekend : )

I was thrilled to have them over to my home for dinner, and I think the food went over very well : ) I love to cook, and it gave me a chance to make a real meal, which I was very happy about. The wine and champagne flowed, as did the talk : )

We got a chance to catch up and hear about all the exciting things that are happening with them : ) Possible job changes, new levels in their D/s that they are exploring, all good, good stuff : ) It is so nice to have friends that we can be "real" with, and I do so enjoy seeing them : )

We did have a mishap with one of my dogs, which kind of threw a pall on the evening : ( One of my dogs bit j, not seriously, but there was blood, and I was mortified : ( The dog does seem to have a problem with strange men in the house, and he did have a special bone that a had given him to keep him busy, but no excuses, he bit my friend, and I am going to think long and hard about what to do with him. I don't want a biter, and this is not the first time he has bitten someone. Sigh....I love him, but he is difficult, a pound-puppy, from the SPCA, and I thought he would be more settled and secure by now. Alas, no. 1.5 years later, I am still having issues with him. Ugh.

Anyway, I have to give it to W and j, they really took the whole thing in stride, and we continued to have good conversation and drink more! God Bless them for understanding and not letting it ruin the evening!!

Discussing the evening later, a and I are both a little jealous of their D/s....we wish we could be more like them, and they seem to be so close, intimate, and happy. a and I both want that, but just can't seem to find the time/location to make that happen. Sigh.

Well, I am hopeful that one day, a and I will be able to get our freak on like we used to, but for right now, it seems that other things must take our focus. So, we will live vicariously through our friends, and hope to see them again very soon for more of their juicy stories!!

Later-

D