Double Domination Fantasy

When the doorbell rang, Domina opened the door to usher Wanda into our humble abode.  Normally you would expect that as the submissive I would be acting as butler.  However, it was felt by having my entrance delayed there was going to be more impact on our guest.  Not to mention, I wasn't able to walk very speedily as you will soon see why.

 

When the women met, I could hear them happily chirping their greetings with one another.   After a few minutes I heard Domina say, "Oh of course he is here.  You've no idea how excited he is at having company.  He's still cleaning the house as a matter of fact.  If I didn't know better, he seems to be cleaning better for you than me.  There's going to be hell to pay if I can prove it!"

 

With a clap of her hands I put down my feather duster and heeded Domina's call as quickly as I could.  My ankles were shackled together making it impossible to step more than about 6 inches at a time.  I find I tend to bounce on the balls of my feet when they try to run like this.  It wouldn't have been so bad except the testicle weights relentlessly yanked at me with every stride.  As for clothing, there wasn't much to speak of save for a Chippendales bowtie and maid's headdress.  The only other accoutrement to my uniform was the cowbell securely tied to the head of my penis.  It was obvious to all where my location was as the bell rang with every awkward step I negotiated in my shackles.

 

When I entered the foyer, the silence was deafening.  The cow bell ceased its ringing.  The shackles no longer rattled.  The weights dangling from my testicles stopped their clattering.  Domina stood there grinning in pride as Wanda's jaw dropped open.  She had obviously never seen me like this before.  I felt the blood rushing to my cheeks as my eyes looked down in humiliation.  But the more embarrassed I felt, the more I could feel my cock lifting up the cowbell. 

 

Domina looked cross as she walked over to me.  "Holy shit you little slut!  Get a hold of yourself.  Actually, you would probably like to do that right now wouldn't you, you little bitch?"  She slapped my cock roughly enough to make me wince as the bell rang out. 

 

"It's okay", said Wanda.  "You warned me that he's a horny slut.  But the good thing about horny sluts is that they tend to be very obedient."

 

"True. True", replied Domina.  Then pointing a finger back down the corridor from which I came she said, "Thank our company for coming over and then get back to the kitchen and serve us our dinner."

 

"Yes, Ma'am.  And thank you Ms Wanda for having dinner with us."

 

"The pleasure is all mine, slut."  She then proceeded to laugh with a chuckle of amazement as I turned around.  This glimpse of my backside was the first time the purple bruises on my ass were made visible.

 

"There was a lot of cleaning for pet to do today and not enough motivation." Domina said apologetically.

 

The table was set for two with fragrant fresh flowers as the centerpiece.  As the women entered I pulled out their chairs and helped seat them.  I took pride in having learned how to fold up the cloth napkins in a crown.  They were soon unfurled with a snap of a wrist.  Hobbling back and forth between the kitchen and the dining room, I brought out the salads first and filed the wine glasses.  Domina told me that she didn't want to see my face hovering over them while they ate, so when I wasn't needed I was instructed to stand in the nearby corner with my nose against the wall. 

 

For the most part the dinner conversation was of normal things like work and children.  Domina was well able to provide the vanilla updates on my behalf as I was only "quasi" participating in the evening.  Occasionally, the conversation would turn to how Domina had trained me to prepare me for an evening like this.

 

"He's so horny, Domina.  Aren't you scared he might just start humping the wall or something?  I mean aren't you scared he's going to get off first chance he can sneak?"

 

"Nah, he's knows better than to cheat.  But now that you mention it I do have my own ways of detecting his movements.  Pet, beat it.  Beat it now!  Beat it like you mean it!"

 

Luckily my face was still hidden in the corner.  I grasped my cock and started rapidly playing with it.  The humiliation and sexual frustration were playing off each other.  The wetness of my precum lathered my lust. 

 

"Hear that Wanda?"

 

"Hear what.  The cow bell?"

 

"Yes!  Normally it sounds like 'clang… clang… clang'.  But when he's being all slutty with himself it goes 'CLANG CLANG CLANG CLANG CLANG'!

 

The women laughed at the jokes they made at my expense.  I had to admit, they were a funny bunch.  At one point Domina told me to beat it faster while Wanda screamed for 'more cowbell' as a takeoff from an old Saturday Night Live skit.

 

I was humiliated trying to obey and not accidently cum during my predicament.  That's when Domina finally clapped and told me to stop.  "Now go wash your hands and serve us dessert!"

 

Dessert was one of Domina's favorites.  Chocolate pudding encased in dollops of whipped cream.  As the woman enjoyed their treat, conversation turned to what entertainment might be had to end our evening.  Wanda was given the pleasure of inspecting the house for my cleaning.  Any infractions were going to award her with 5 whacks with the paddle against my already swollen ass cheeks.  At least I thought, the pain will probably be dulled for it.  However, before allowing the participant encouraged floor show, Domina had some other plans to warm up the festivities. 

 

I came into the living room. The candles were lit and there was some soft music playing in the background.  I was instructed to assume a doggie style position, ass up and face in the carpet.   That's when I felt my asshole being violated.  I grunted against the mild discomfort the pain cause me.  I could tell there was a dowel projecting maybe a foot or so up in the air behind me.   The sensation of getting fucked made me hard again and I could feel my sticky juices running down my legs. 

 

"Face lower, ass higher" Domina said to me as I felt her foot between my shoulder blades to assist me in getting the proper position.    

 

"What are we supposed to do with him now?" puzzled Wanda.

 

"Ring Toss!"  Domina beamed.

 

"Ring Toss!" Wanda cried back as she clapped her hands.

 

"The big red ones are worth 5 points and the smaller green ones 10 points.  And the best part of the game is that the pole brings us back the rings in between rounds!" 

 

"Awesome!  What shall we play for?"

 

To be continued??

Things Are Changing

Yes and No. , Riding on anthony's most recent post; I feel and hear his concern about our direction going forward. I, too, am confused about where things go from here. Now that we are have crossed a line (and have we?) is there any turning back? Well, first and foremost my concern is that anthony will not have any interest in exploring my new sexual feelings with me. He says that he does, but I am still uncertain, and his submissive desires are so strong that I fear that there will not be any room for my newfound sexual feelings. We will see. anthony is correct in assuming that if we were to invite a 3rd party into our relationship, as a Dominant, that I would not choose a female. While I do find the female body enticing and interesting at times, in a sexuaal way, I don't really have much interest in being dominating by a female at this time. Quite honestly, I am pretty sure I would be pissed off if some woman tried to dominate me...lol. I just don't see that going well AT ALL. Makes me chuckle actually. It is one thing for me to allow anthony to dominate me from time to time, quite another to allow some woman dominate me...nope, don't see that happening. anthony does a wonderful job at expressing his feelings and articulating himself about his submission and my domination of him. I am glad that he is able to do this, but I am not able to do that at this time. I think I am still mulling over all that has occurred the last few days. One thing that I am very happy about is that we are posting more. anthony and I both enjoy the "he said, she said," style of our blog, and we do use it, or I do anyway, to communicate with each other as well. Often times we will read a post that the other has written and look at each other and go "I did not know you felt that way." It has resulted in some hurt feelings, and some very heightened sexual feelings, for both of us, at different times. But, I very much enjoy the fact that we are blogging more, hence, communicating better amongst ourselves. I think the blog is a great tool for use in our relationship. It allows an outlet, and is some thing that we do together, although seperately : ) As most of you will note, our blogging becomes limited during times of high stress, as most things are limited during those times as well, especially our D/s activities... As to this morning, and our lovemaking. I had woken up very early, anxiety-ridden about financial issues, and could not get back to sleep. I think, sometimes, I am dominant with anthony because it is a way that I have control over something/someone when I don't have control over other parts of my life. Not that I don't enjoy it, I do, and not that it does not suit my personality, it does. But, sometimes, I wonder if I use it as a way to exert control in a chaotic world, much likes anorexics use eating/food to exert control of their lives when they feel that they have none. God knows I am NOT anorexic, but I think the concept is the same, yes? Anyway, anthony was quite correct when he said I was doing some soul-searching, I am. About a lot of things, our relationship, my job, money, our future. There is alot to think about, and I long for a simpler time when things were not just so complicated. I have to admit that this week though, I do feel a little bit of the easing of my burdens, and perhaps that is why I am feeling more sexual, and more open. Not sure, but we will see how the weeke progresses. Here is what I know: I want anthony, in every way, all the time, every day. I love him, I want to be with him, and I am so lucky to have him and be with him. As anthony said, I know that we will work through this together. I don't know if I was feeling all that dominant this morning as I did want to feel like things were back to "normal," haha, whatever that means for us. For us, typically that means that I am D and anthony is s. That has been our "norm" for the last few years, and I suspect that it will continue to be so. However, I do have these new submissives feelings that I feel I must explore. Where that is going, and what will happen going forward, still remains to be seen. I just know that being submissive to anthony makes me hot, and dominating anthony makes me hot. Confusing? Yes! Insurmountable? No, I don't think so. But hopefully it will lead to some hot times in the near future as we explore! In a few weeks I am going to visit some of my lesbian friends at their vacation home in the mountains. I am very happy about the trip :) Getting away, and spending some time in the mountains makes me happy. It will be nice to have a little mini-vacation....but, it occurs to me that I will be with an awful lot of lesbians, and some of them will be single. This might be a good time to have a female-on-female experience : ) Nice, secluded environment, some drinks, some conversation...who knows what might happen? I am not really looking for it, but I am not really avoiding it either. I am leaving myself open to all sexual experiences right now. D/s, bondage, homosexual, all of it. I feel very open and vulnerable right now. I don't feel weak, let's not mistake vulnerability for weakness...no, weak is not accurate, I just feel open and kind of fragile. I feel very small next to anthony right now. Like I would like him to wrap me up in his arms and shelter me in kind of a cocoon, but I don't feel submissive exactly. Sigh, I am not sure that they make a word for what I feel right now, lol. Sorry for the ramble Readers....it is just where I am right now. We will keep you posted- -D

More Reflection from the Bottom

I’m not sure exactly where this post is going to go. I’ve been instructed to write a post today. We’ve hardly given you, our readers, a chance to keep up. We’ve been on rapid fire as of late. Our apologies, but if you miss a day around here the last week or so, you’ve missed something. So to start with, maybe we’ll do a recap of this morning.

For those of you concerned we lost our female-led ways, there wasn’t much question who was in charge this morning. What started as a gentle spooning as I hazily awoke turned strictly femdom. Before I knew what hit me, my head was being pulled back by my hair while dry fingers were being thrust up my ass. I’m not really sure what order of events happened from there, but there was a lot of oral worship and finger sucking. We made love, Domina climaxed, and I was left with a customary hard wet cock that I needed to put away before taking the kid to school. Instructed to go “free balling” today, I’ve not had the comfort of a pair of panties to help restrain the tents I’ve been pitching at my desk today.

We’ve engaged in some Sadie Hawkins like play before where I’ve dommed Domina, but we are in a new place now. It’s not about the curiosity with the ropes and bondage for her right now. It’s a fascination with the emotional aspects. I think this is why I was so well able to provide her with a taste of what she wanted this past weekend. I get it. And in this respect, I also understand neither one of us is naturally submissive and hence there is an extra interest in wanting to experience being exposed and powerless. Where we differ I think is in magnitude. I believe Domina is interested in situational exploration. I’m more interested in lifestyle subservience. The question is, can I as the submissive in our relationship give her the experiences she desires? It worked out fine last weekend, but can I fully satisfy her in this regard? Do we need to contact with another dominant? Right now, I don’t see anyone we trust to handle this delicate issue. It might be that a female dominant would be helpful in this vein, but I don’t think Domina’s fantasies in this regard have had women.

As for my own submission, I’m coming up on the 7 week denial mark. And as you may know, the mind kicks it into overtime at this point. This is when I really start to crave humiliation in place of the sexual release I’m not allowed to have. Need is a strong term, but feels appropriate at times. A few things are coming into play that are making it harder on me. First of all, while my new masturbation schedule pacifies me in the short term, it keeps me more submissively horny round the clock. Of course that is the intent so it’s not a complaint. I’ve also been back on the dixi cup. That is to say Domina has been sharing her fluids with me. Also Domina has been speaking with e several times the last few weeks trying to catch up. It sounds like they may go at things more as equals going forward. Less D/s means to me to me more straight out sex in their future. More penis sucking with the lips I kiss every day. More intercourse with the vagina I worship and service. Since we have been together no one else has cum in or on Domina. As sexual equals with e, I tend to think this would change. This is the stuff that subspace is built on.

So there is the problem. Can I be respected in fulfilling Domina’s submissive desires when I’m the partially emasculated, urine drinking, cuckold in our relationship? The dominos are set up for her to ridicule, degrade, and otherwise exploit my inferiority in our relationship. Like a moth to a flame, it’s what I’m drawn to want to experience… more stringent terms of humiliation in exchange for deeper obedience. It might be, however, that I will need to give all that up for a while so we can really explore Domina’s needs. No more panties, no more e, no more restrictions… just a complete role reversal so we can play that out. Something tells me, though, that I don’t think Domina wants to really give up control of me or go to this extreme. I guess we’ll see!

Rather than pondering the state of these things that I can’t resolve (I know Domina is soul searching what she thinks her needs are) I have turned my thoughts over to my own submission. Again, I better understand the emotional drain on consensually humiliating and disciplining a partner. Yes, there is the matter of not wanting to waste time checking the rules on an ongoing basis. But there is also the bigger issue of managing yourself when you conduct in activities a vanilla person would consider out of bounds. If you are a sub that really needs to be degraded, than you’ve really got to step up to the plate and show gratitude and support for the expense your dominant sacrifices of themselves. Like having me religiously wear panties as an act of obedience, Domina is adjusting my lifestyle habits to be submissively oriented. I’m expected to change in this regard. But for Domina to verbally belittle me or physically discipline me, she is being asked to change and be someone different than the norms of society have allowed in the past. This is not an easy thing. It’s really a two way street and neither is end is a cake walk. But isn’t that why we explore this… the challenge of not only breaking, but mastering taboos? If I’m going to be a good submissive, I have to be become accustomed to the embarrassment and exposure to strengthen my obedience. But on the flip side, if Domina is going to be a good dominant, she has to feel free from the encumbrances that tell her good people don’t disrespect their partners this way.

So the question comes, why do I want Domina to verbally belittle me, cause me physical discomfort or pain, and sexually humiliate and emasculate me? Probably because she loves me enough that it causes her pause to do so. If there was no concern for me, if there was no self-awareness check, there would be no moral compass that would allow us the trust to make the exploration.

-a

A View from the Top

So, I know our readers are eager to know from me what happed this past weekend as the purpose of the blog is to give you that he said she said dual perspective. Well, if you’ve followed us for years, you’ll know Domina has had desires to be dominated before. And on rare occasion we have dabbled where I have tied her up. But, the last post she made displayed a deeper desire to experience something more.

I’ve read in other places where dominants have said they were better at being on top from having experiences being submissive. After reading her post that graphically displayed her desires to be humiliated, I thought maybe it would be good for us to have an opportunity to try that shoe on the other foot and get to have a better understanding from the other side. It’s true, I did say something along the lines of “I’m not sure I can help you with this”. That is to say, as the submissive, I didn’t know how well she could respect me in that role. But that was about all I said of it at the time. Fantasies are more than spank fuel, as Domina says. Fantasies stimulate the biggest sex organ, the brain. Likewise, when you are being sexually stimulated, it’s easier to explore the fantasies that are generally filled away in some dark corner. So rather than having a difficult conversation, we had a nice vanilla data and did normal couple things. But when we got back, it was time to get down to business and visit the places that are best explored naked.

First, we started out with some rope bondage to set the mood. It was a bag of mixed results. The breast bondage didn’t work out to well. Basically, not enough rope for a lot of breast. But the shoulder straps I fashioned went rather well I thought. I had nooses around her shoulders that I pulled together with a slip knot. To prove to her how well they were bound, I pulled on the leach of excess rope that toppled her over backwards on the bed. And in a split second of awkwardness for me, for the first time in a long time I slid my hard penis inside her without asking. Much to my surprise, being in charge gave me a surge of control. Even being 5 plus weeks out from my last orgasm, I found the drive to fuck as hard as wanted without giving much pause to an untimely cumming. Want to know how I know how fierce I really was? I bit the insides of my lips. That’s the tell-tale sign to myself how rigorous I get.

What I want you all to grasp in this account, however, isn’t the physical “spank fuel”. There were deep psychological things happening that are important to understand. First of all, Domina has for years tried to understand my need for humiliation. This was an opportunity for her to explore my mind. And on the reverse, I was able to have a sample of what it is to be on the other end. I’ve been told on many occasions that it takes energy to be dominant. That management of being in charge is draining. I always thought it should give energy back in an empowering way. Discipline could be active or passive. I didn’t give it enough credit. What I found to be difficult was where to set the bar. With power comes great responsibility. I realized that all this time that I felt Domina has been light on me, it probably isn’t about me when she holds back. There I was, in charge of my woman that wanted to be humiliated. There wasn’t hesitation on her part. She wanted the experience. So why not go for it? The truth is, I would have to live with myself afterwards. For instance you ask?

Part of Domina’s desires were to be humiliated for her appearance. I know I’ve stated many times, the human mind will often eroticizes pain as a coping mechanism. I won’t go into that again here right now. The problem is how to shame a woman for her body, who wants to be shamed, when you know in reality she is attractive and desirous? I could have called her any thousand of a demeaning names and she would have cried as her erogenous humiliation tickled her sex organs. But I could I later take it back or say I didn’t mean those things? How could I tell her later that I think she is beautiful and have her believe me? How do you push the buttons and not cause real hurt? It takes care and thought. I settled for touching her in exploitive ways. I squeezed and slapped her breasts around. I gave a lot of attention to her midsection that I know she feels self-conscious about. Sensing she was in her own version of subspace, I asked questions that I would normally never ask or expect answers to. She divulged to me how many guys she estimated she had sucked in a lifetime. More revealing, I asked how many of those she actually had cum in her mouth. I called her a dirty girl as I rolled her over to fuck her from behind. Her shoulders still pulled back, I imaging it caused her face to be further shoved into the mattress. Any time she delayed with an answer, or gave me any sign of resistance, I fucked her harder and would tell her to listen to how wet she was. It may not sound like it, but trust me, I set the bar low. I gave her what I thought we could handle without going too far to the edge. It think it was D/s light.

I didn’t use any names. I didn’t use any real physical pain save for some breast slapping that was more surprise than anything. Domina’s mind filled in the blanks. Eventually, I rolled her back over to rub her clitoris and make her cum. When she was on the verge of orgasm, I told her again she was a dirty girl, which she repeated back to me just before she screamed in animalistic sexual release. I thought about cumming myself. It would have made the scene more complete for her. But I thought it best to not take advantage of my submissive break. The next evening and day would be awkward for us and I thought it best to be sexually denied when she came back up for air looking for the strength of her dominance again. As soon as I could, I got the ropes off and covered up her naked body in the blankets so she could cry and let out the ensuing emotional release that I knew was destined to follow.

Domina is concerned I’m not disappointed. Honestly I’m not. I’m honored she would trust me to allow herself to experience these feelings. In her words, she felt “vulnerable and exposed”. This means to me, she gets it. She understands in these few words the needs I have had in this vein. And for me I think get it better too. I know better now that being reserved as a dominant isn’t all about concern for the sub. It has just as much if not more to do with living with yourself and being able to forgive yourself. The sub obviously wants it, you can get off on it, but can you still be you after taking advantage of the situation? To be dominant requires absolute security in the fact that you are caring for a sub’s inner needs and that what you are doing is okay. That’s the symbiotic way the sub has to give back.

So how do we feel a good 24 hours later? Domina is still processing, but seems to be ok. It’s like opening up the box of cookies and saying you’ll be satisfied with just one. No, the curiosity is peeked and more exploration will be desired. But can it be done without disrupting our femdom dynamic? And as for me, I really didn’t have difficulty performing the dominant services. It wasn’t like I fumbled around not knowing what to do. I knew what to do because I understand it. It’s more like I had a feeling of jealousy. I saw her broken down feeling safe and loved in her moment of “exposure and vulnerability”. She made it to a place that I feel more desperate to visit myself. I get frustrated hoping to reach a point like that wanting to be brought to my knees. Some days I really want her to put the pedal to the medal, throw it in high gear, and take off the kid gloves. Of course now I’m confused because I really don’t know what direction we will go in. We seemed to flip the “switch” a bit easier than we would have thought. The good part is I know we will work it out together. I am so lucky to be with Domina.

He is All I Ever Wanted...and More

At one time, and for most of our relationship, I have assumed/known that anthony wanted to know my fantasies because they made him hot, gave him something to get tittilated about...etc. He always asks me about my fantasies, and quite honestly, I find it a little annoying, because previously to last night, it just seemed like he wanted spank-fuel for spank-the-monkey bank...I know that sounds bad, that I never realized that he wanted to hear my fantasies because he wants to make them come true...but I just never did. We would do things that I fantasized about...but I guess I never put the two together...not very bright, huh? Nope, not very bright at all.

But last night, the effect was so immediate that I could not avoid the correlation...

After he read my submissive fantasy post, he said "I am sorry that I cannot make that come true for you." And I kind of blew it off...shrugged and we moved on and went out to dinner. It was a fantasy, I did not really expect anything to come of it at all.

Little did I know my love was cooking up a little fantasy action for me : )

When we got home we decided to relax in bed, we'd had a big meal and we talked about fooling around, but we were very full.

But soon enough I got horny...and he did too. He got up and asked me where our ropes were...right away my clit got hard and my crotch startling tingling. We had not used the ropes in forever!! I told him where they were, he got them, and had me sit up on the edge of the bed.

Slowly and methodically, he began tying my arms and shoulders to pull them back tight, just like I like it. My breathing was catching...and coming up short...while I was being tied up. I could feel anthony's demeanor changing as he became more dominant, he was still respectful and loving, moving my hair aside to tie his knots. My breasts were completely seperated and lifted, almost straight out in front of me; my shoulders were pulled back tight, lifting my breasts up and out even further.

Before I go any further, please let me tell you all that everything anthony did, he did with love, everything he did, I wanted him to do. He checked in with at many points during the session, and made sure I was ok. Everything he did, I wanted him to do, as embarrassing as that is to admit.

So anthony finally gets the ropes all tied up like he wants, and then with a quick yank he had me flat on my back in the middle of the bed. My breathe was coming in even shorter burst now as I realized that I was at anthony's mercy and his plaything. I was scared and nervous, but VERY turned on, already my cunt was dripping with my own juice.

anthony brought me to the edge of the bed, picked my legs up and inserted his cock, and proceeded to fuck me, hard.

While he was fucking me, he began talking to me "How many cocks have you sucked?" "How many have you let cum in your mouth?" How much cum have you swallowed Dirty Girl?" "Do you want me to call you Hole, do you like being called Hole?"

He held my arms down and continued to fuck me and asked me if I wanted him to humiliate me. I responded that I did. While he was talking to me and asking me these questions I had begun to cry...not sobbing, just tears slipping down my face; anthony continued to check in on me to make sure that I was ok. I was not ok, but my pussy was soaking wet, and I was totally turned on. I can't really explain the tears, but I do know that I did not want him to stop what he was doing, and I know that he would have stopped if I wanted him too.

anthony slapped my breasts around and squeezed and pinched my stomach fat roll, just like in my fantasy! I was a little surprised and shocked, but still completely turned on. He continued to stroke and squeeze my stomach and hips while he fucked me. The sensation was so odd, it felt amazingly good, but also humiliating, and the tears continued to roll down my face...I really can't explain it, but it seemed to me to be the most amazing relief/release of emotion. Again, very difficult to explain.

My mouth was open, my breathing shallow, and I guess I was in some kind of submissive head space while anthony continued to fuck and humiliate me. He rolled me over and had me get up on my knees; and he inserted his cock again and fucked me from behind, and shoved his index fingers into my asshole after licking the finger to lube it up a bit. He fucked me hard and good for a good while. He asked me if I wanted cock in my mouth and cock up my ass...he asked me if I wanted two cocks in me...all the while I was on my face, arms, shoulders and breasts tied up and his cock pushing in and out of me. Very submissive, and very exciting.

After awhile he rolled me back over and my breasts had come loose from their bindings...he slapped them around some more and then started to play with my clit. Rubbing it just like I like. The orgasm that followed is the most intense orgasm I have had in months....perhaps all year. After I came, I had a complete sobbing breakdown, through which anthony held me, reassured me, and quickly released me from the rest of my bindings. He held me very close, assured me he loved me, and continued to hold me as I sobbed. It was a complete release, I have no other way to describe it.

It was a very difficult but amazing experience, and I can tell you right now that I crave more, and I am hopeful that anthony will be willing to accomodate some more submissive fantasies from me. He loves me, I felt his love so much in his behavior and treatment of me last night. I felt his love in a way that I have never felt before. He is everything I have ever wanted in man, and is the love of my life.

Tonight, I chatted with my friend E. We are talking about getting together on Friday, and we are beginning to re-negotiate the terms of our existing relationship. We are looking at being more sexual partners then me Domming him. E had read my recent fantasy and asked if I wanted him to Dom me. Tough question, and I was honest with E, and told him that the only reason I got through last night was because of anthony's love for me. We will see how all this shakes out, but for right now, I think I would be ok with E and I being more equals, but I don't know about having him Dom me. That is something I may have to reserve for anthony at this time.

I am still processing the whole thing, but this is what I know for now.

More to follow-

-D

Submissive Fantasy-for D

As I have stated here previously, sometimes I do like to be a little submissive myself. Being a Domme, that is almost embarrassing to admit, but it is the truth, and we always strive to be honest on our blog. So, here is a little something for me: I am naked, with my arms on a piece of exercise equipment. You know the one I mean, you lay your arms on top of it, hold on to the handles, and lift your legs, together out in front of you to strengthen your lower abs. When you are not lifting your legs you are simply hanging there. There are little foot pedals off to the side to help you if you get tired of hanging in-between lifts. Hopefully I have explained that adequately. Let me fill you in a little on why this is, this suspension situation I have working. Part of my submissive fantasy involves humiliation surrounding my weight. Long story, but I have been heavy my whole life. Not huge, but definitely chunky, and for some reason, there is some sexuality surrounding my fat. I don't really understand it myself, and it is painful to admit, but there it is. anthony is aware of this, but we have never explored this aspect of my sexuality, as I don't respond to humliation in reality the way that he does. It just hurts my feelings, and upsets me, and is only sexy in fantasy for me. I wish I could explain it better, but there it is. That is what I know. Back to the fantasy...I am hanging naked from this piece of equipment. While I am hanging there I am acutely aware of my fat. My shoulders are pulled back and up straight, thursting my naked breasts out and in front. I am very aware that my breasts are no longer bigger than my stomach : ( Very humiliating and disturbing for me as my breasts have always been the biggest thing on me. I can feel the roll of my stomach sitting up above my hips, like a spare tire of fat just hanging, literally, from my body. My naked, shaved, crotch is hiding below the fat roll, but exposed. I feel the air on my exposed crotch, and it's tingling with excitement as well. The room is very dark, a closed, empty, gym, after hours. I hear the man enter on my right side. Hear the door open and then close, and lock. I hear his foot steps approaching me and he stops a few feet away. I can hear his breathing, but can't feel it on me, he is not that close, yet. He is a large man, his foot steps are heavy, I can his hear clothes rustling so I know that he dressed. It sounds like jeans and some kind of heavy work boot. I smell him, some kind of man-musk cologne, male sweat. He says "Hello Hole." That is what he calls me, "Hole." I am humiliated, embarrased. And now he starts to circle me. My legs are trembling from trying to hold them up and not use the foot pedals. I don't know why I don't use them, he has not told me that I can't, but I just know inherently that it is not a good idea. I don't speak back to him because somehow I know that it is not expected, and I should not chance it. He is still circling me and sniffing me. Yes, sniffing me. He reaches out to me, I am cold, and shivering for many reasons. He puts both hands on my stomach fat roll, stroking it, he asks me if I like being fat, how I would be lucky to have anyone fuck me the way that he will fuck me soon...up the ass and from behind so that he does not have to look at my fat move while he fucks me. He strokes my fat roll, slaps my ass, breathes on my neck and face...at least his breath is good. I can see his face in the shadows a bit. He is a big man, 6'3 or 6'4, maybe 250 lbs...dark brown hair, almost black, mustache and scruff on his face. He is an attractive man; good looking in a rugged sense. He is wearing tight jeans, a plaid shirt, and big work boots, so I was right about that at least. He is rubbing and pinching the skin around my stomach, ass, and hips. I can tell that he is getting turned on, and I am too. My whole body is trembling...I hear him unzip his zipper, but he tells me that I am not attractive enough for him to completely undress, all I am going to feel is his cock, nothing else from him. He seperates my thighs and pushes my feet onto the foot pedals, he is not talking now, and I am not sure what is better. I am very wet....he sniffs my crotch and dips his fingers into my cunt. He stretches my ass cheeks apart and wipes some of my pussy juice into my asshole. I wince, because I know what is coming, and I have never been ass-fucked before. I am nervous and disturbed, but very turned on as well. He says "Now Hole, I am going to fuck you, pussy first, then ass, both from behind so I don't have to see your fat face. At least your ass is kind of small but I going to reach around and grab that big fat stomach roll while I fuck you, and see if I can't press some of that fat in and fuck that fat off of you, are you ready Hole?" "Speak Hole." I say "Yes, I am ready." and then I start to cry. I say "I am sorry I am so fat, and I am lucky to have someone like you fuck me." He laughs but does not respond verbally to me. I hear his pants drop to the floor, hear the rustling of his clothes...feel his fingers seperate the lips of my pussy..feel the head of his cock beginning to penetrate. The head is very big and hurts a bit as he pushes inside me but I am very, very wet. He grunts and grabs onto my hips while he fucks me. There I am, hands on the equipments' handles, semi-squatting now so that he can get his cock deep inside me. He is grunting with each thrust, and his thrusts are very hard. I am having a hard time hanging onto the handles, he is fucking me so hard. And true to his word, he grabs my fat roll, squeezes it and pinches it while he fucks me, with both hands. This makes me more wet and then he speaks, he whispers behind me "Hole, I know you are enjoying me fucking your fat, but you will NOT cum, do you understand Hole?" All the while he is breathless from his strenuous efforts of fucking me and grabbing my fat. I whimper, and say "Yes, I understand, but your cock is so good." He grabs a handful of my hair and says "I know it is, good for fucking that fat right off you Hole, now shut up and take my cock!" I whimper some more and make some sort of noise that sounds like agreement. He continues to strong-fuck me and hold my hair, which hurts, but turns me on as well. He has grabbed one breast with the other hand and is talking about how fat and huge they are as well. I am trying desperately not to cum when he rips his cock out of me and starts trying to shove it up my ass. My hole is virginal and small, very tight, and he is not having much luck, I am wincing with the pain of his efforts; after the delerium that I was experiencing before it is a rude awakening for sure! Eventually he gives up on putting his cock in my ass and shoves it roughly back into my cunt, all the way to hilt. My eyes fly open, he has a big cock, and I was not prepared for this change at all! He is fucking me hard, grunting, and I smell his sweat much stronger now. He is mutterng while he fucks me...things like "fat ass," "big sopping pussy," I can't hear him very well, but I get the idea. I am taking his thrusts, but my whole body aches now from hanging there, even though my feet are on the foot pedals of the machine I have been hanging there for some time...and everything just aches. I am very ready for him to cum, but dare not say a word. I can feel him moving fast and getting closer.....and I am praying that he is done soon. My pussy is soaking wet, and I am very turned on, but also in pain, and tired. Finally, he is moving like rocket-fast in and out of me...banging his balls up against my cunt and grunting louder and louder, he is pulling my hair harder and harder and arching my back more...I am breathless with his thrusts and am praying that he cums soon! And then he releases my hair, grabs my neck and with one great push I feel his hot cum inside me. I am so relieved that I want to cry..but I don't. I listen as his breathing slows, and I feel his hot cum running down the inside of my thighs...there is so much of it some of drips on the floors in between my legs, right out of my cunt. I feel him slide out of me, hear him pick up his pants and zip his zipper. I am breathing hard, and whimpering softly as my whole body aches and releases the tension. I decide that it is ok for me to try and get down from the equipment and he sees me move and says "Not so fast Hole, I have a friend who is coming to see you as well, get back up there." And I hear the door open and close again... To Be Continued... -D

Hot Saturday Morning

After a lovely evening with the kids, and listening all about the dance and boys, etc, pet and I crashed out and left the kids to sit up and talk all night : ) We slept in this morning. Well, sort of : ) This morning I stroked my cock for awhile, and then I played with myself until I came. I let anthony beat himself before, during, after my orgasm. Then I rolled over and took a little nap; that was nice. So awhile later I got up to go the bathroom and realized I was horny again. So when I got back, naked, I straddled pet to indicate that I wanted to be fucked. And get fucked I did. It only took a minute for pet to get his erection back from earlier that morning. We made very nice love for awhile and I came again, and then again : ) So that's three times today and the kids are still here! Can imagine what might happen when the kids actually leave! I did decide this morning that pet will be allowed to cum on Father's Day. So that gives him a little something to look forward to : ) More to cum on all that later- -D